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Should kids me in the middle of $?

hbell0428's picture

Submitted by hbell0428 on Fri, 10/01/2010 - 11:00am

So; before SD13 moved in with us FT - we gave her mom at least $200.00 a month plus gave her whatever else she needed (school clothes, sports) plus we had her 50/50 - we also have 3 other kids as well. Anyway; she has sinced moved in with us and BM had handed SD a $20.00 hear - $20.00 there; for stuff like school dances; spirit wear for school.

Well, BM dropped of $9.00 for pictures and $20.00 for spirit wear (logo stuff from school) we were filling out the forms and of course she wanted $46.00 worth of stuff. Dad says, "You don't need this much stuff." She snaps back, "MY MOTHER gave you $20.00 for half this stuff!" He quickly and loudly replied, "Don't you ever talk to me about money from your mother and how it should be spent - you have no right and don't ever bring it up again."

Meanwhile we don't get help with clothes or her makeup or any other expenses at all; I mean lunches are 10 - a week.

I want to know why the $ is beign directly handed to her?? she is only 13! And god for bid if I say a word, I did and got, "why are you so worried about it?"

aaahhhhh help; what are your thoughts?????? (These fights are never ending - this was at 7:12 this morning; great way for everyone to start their day)

Comments

hbell0428's picture

Submitted by hbell0428 on Fri, 10/01/2010 - 11:55am

Nope not one penny for CS! and for the most part it doesn't bother us all the time; what bothers us is that she spends maybe 3 days a month with her. I mean - come on - this is your daughter!! and then I feel quilty for wanting/needing to spend 1 on 1 with my BD11!

I don't know why the $ is being handed to her; but who the hell am I?

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Fri, 10/01/2010 - 1:16pm

Nope, CS goes to the CP for support of the kid and the kid is not the middle man for transfer of the money.

I would have DH file immediately for custody and CS to make it all official through the courts.

That way SD-13 has no knowledge of what money comes from where.

Showing her how much it costs to run a household is one thing but having her be the middle "man" in transer of money between BM and BioDad is a non starter IMHO.

Best regards,

hbell0428's picture

Submitted by hbell0428 on Fri, 10/01/2010 - 1:58pm

Love the Ranting!! That's why it is here!! I love the idea of purchasing your own things; Dad would not go for that all the way; he does make her buy that "expensvie" makeup and all that stuff if she wants it... Hell I don't even get that top of the line sh*t.

we shall c how this weekend goes; it just always seems like something i know i know shes 13 -but god just one day; please!!!!!!!!!

caregiver1127's picture

Submitted by caregiver1127 on Fri, 10/22/2010 - 11:07pm

Hbell0428 - I feel for you - when SS lived with us full time - for the first year BM paid nothing - then I got pregnant and told DH that we needed some money for SS because the money I was making that I put in to contribute to SS I now needed for the new baby - so DH called BM and told her she needed to start paying something - the first month she sends us $200.00 the next month we were just leaving for vacation and we were driving in the car to go on the long road trip to see my family and SS to see his BM - she sends 2 checks - one for $150.00 to dh and the second for $50.00 to SS - I looked at my DH and said what does she not think the Generous amount of $200.00 that she sent us last month after SS had lived with us for 13 months was not all going to his care - I told Dh that's it either take her to court or come up with an amount that she needed to pay for her son - what really chapped my ass was when we went to drop off SS (BM had gotten into an accident a month earlier and she would not tell SS what her new car was just that it was gray) and up drives BM in a $40,000 luxury car - I looked at DH and all 7 months of pregnancy hormones came spilling out and I said you get more money from her or SS moves back in with her.

SS had been having a hard time with me being pregnant and actually when I told him I was pregnant he tried to hit me in the stomach - I also got really sick in the beginning where I was losing weight and then having to put up with his nasty attitude and his BM who could not help to pay for him bought a $40,000 car plus a condo for $160,000.00 but could only pay $150.00 to us and then $50.00 to SS - you could tell she knew she was wrong when she got out of the car she tried to justify having such a nice car - Dh just said Nice car - will be sending you an email when I get back be ready for it.