ONE thing that BM said that I actually agree with about SS is that FH is too soft on SS. This of course is the pot calling the kettle black BUT it doesn't make it any less true. BM is useless when it comes to discipline in her home and FH has tried in the very recent past not to get involved with BM's altercations with SS. They ALWAYS fight and FH never gets the WHOLE story from either BM or SS but the story is never pretty. When it comes to school related things or behavior in our home FH has no problem verbally reprimanding him in the moment but thats about all that happens. There really aren't behavior problems here and up until very recently there were no issues at school. It seems like in a months time everything has gone downhill.

I feel like FH is just as guilty as BM when it comes to boundaries and rules - just not in the same way. BM is on a more serious end of the spectrum. SS12 comes and goes as he pleases and doesn't respect BM's authority at all. He talks back and screams at BM and basically does whatever he wants WHENEVER he wants. FH would never EVER stand for that. BUT, when SS is here on the weekends he really doesn't have any responsibility and FH doesn't expect anything out of him. Maybe because he's a guilty parent? IDK. But I have had a looong talk with DH after we found out SS was suspended from school - things need to CHANGE around here on the weekends.

1. SS goes to sleep as late as he wants. Watches TV or plays video games till 3 am. He sleeps all day if he wants. I think this is BS. He should have a bedtime just like every other kid even if its the weekend and he should get up at a reasonable hour. If he can't do this on his own then FH must enforce it.

2. SS does NOT shower, brush his teeth or change his clothes the entire weekend when he is here. I think this is completely unacceptable. He should get up every day and brush his teeth and change his damn underwear at the least! Ughh....what is with FH allowing such unhygienic behavior?

3. SS isn't required to clean up after himself. He has the spare bedroom all to himself and he isn't asked to clean it up. Doesn't make the bed or clean up the game controllers, etc. I think he should have to clean the room up EVERY time he gets ready to leave and go back to BM's.

4. SS doesn't have to clean up after himself when he actually leaves his bedroom. Dirty dishes left in the sink. Empty soda cans on the kitchen counter. Sneakers in the middle of the floor. WHY is it so horrible to ask SS12 to rinse a dish and put it into the dishwasher? Or put his soda can in the recycle bin? This isn't asking too much is it? I don't think so - but it seems I know NOTHING because I don't have my own kids.

5. SS has NO chores. None. Since he's only here on the weekends I guess it should be a vacation every time. I think it would teach SS responsibility if he had at least a couple chores. Mow the TINY lawn? Pull some weeds? Sweep the garage? Nothing back breaking. Maybe even let him EARN an allowance.

I know I can probably go on and on. But why does it seem that when I make these suggestions I just get a blank stare from FH and then he rubs his temple like its all just too much to take? I realize that BM is a F*ckn nightmare. I get it. BUT, SS is old enough and smart enough to know he gets away with murder. He knows that he doesn't do the right thing. He's out of control and I am so tired of watching this downward spiral!!! Am I wrong? Am I asking for soooo much? I think I should actually ask for a lot more but i am starting small and I just don't think it sinking in? I am so angry right now.