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Senior Prom, Graduation, and 18th Birthday!

HappyCow's picture

The month of May is going to be packed for SD17 and on a beautiful day in May we will no longer have to deal with BM. Not that she is around much anyways or has offered to help SD17 with prom expenses, senior dues, or anything related to her only daughter.

SD17 and I had a wonderful day spent picking out her senior prom dress. It took a while to find one that didn't show too much boobs or expose her belly but we did it! I wanted to make sure that BM did not want to be involved with this because I am not her mom and I try to be very cautious about stepping on mother-daughter traditions. SD17 tells me that she asked BM to pick out a dress and SD17 even said she would pay for it herself but BM could never find the time to take her shopping.

BM has missed so much of this girls last few years and both DH and I are wondering if she will show up for graduation. We are throwing a party for her the weekend before and both DH and I's family and friends are coming over for a barbeque. DH and I both agreed that if SD17 wanted to invite her BM we wouldn't say no but if she doesn't say anything we are not going to extend the invite.

SD17 wishes her BM was more involved in her life and I often wonder if she will ever feel regret for missing out on her cheer events, NHS induction, dance recitals, college trips, and just other day to day events.

I just don't understand BM. SD17 hadn't seen her BM in over 3 weekends between a trip for spring break, a trip to FL with her dance team, and a weekend she worked a double because she needed the money. The first weekend SD17 was able to go to her BM her Mom left to meet her one and only friend for lunch and was gone for most of the day. How do you justify that to yourself as a Mom while at the same time texting your daughter about how she misses her and never makes anytime for her. SD17 showed me the text from her BM and just rolled her eyes. I don't think that SD17 will spend another full weekend with her after her birthday.

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HappyCow's picture

This is 100% correct. BM always tells SD17 she is proud of her (which is a good thing) but in reality she has nothing to do with how well she is doing now. When SD17 first came to live with us full time she was a hot mess who was heading in a bad direction. Now, she has a job, on the honor roll, received a nice academic scholarship, and made National Honor society. Of course that has nothing to do with DH being an awesome dad it's all about how BM has a golden uterus and randomly sends texts that she is so proud of the women she has become. :sick: