Its going as smooth as mud....
I have posted some issues I have had with my stepdaughter & her mother (my wife), but I have disengaged as much as I possibly can, but my wife is making it very difficult. Her daughter has her brainwashed along with the rest of their family. The boyfriend is back living with her & all I hear from the wife is how well they are doing. Well first things first, he has a trial date coming up for the domestic problems he has created & he is using my SD as a sugar momma. So I am sure he does not want to screw that up because he has no where to go. They are going out to the 4th of July with my wife & SD's side of the family to another lake without me, which is fine, because I cant even stand to be around, look or hear this guy talk, it makes me want to explode. They all went to my wifes side of the family for fathers day this last Sunday. My wife told me how the boyfriend was really helpful & just an angel! She also commented that my family needs to get over it because her daughter is a grown women that makes her own decisions. She is only 19, she acts like she is 14, and the decision to stay with him is not a good decision in my opinion. I told my wife that her family thinks a little different than mine, obviously they don't give a shit about the SD. I have told my wife I do not want to hear anything about them for a while & she keeps talking about it. I think she is trying to get me to "change" or "come around" to the idea that he is changing. I don't believe it. There is a pattern to him. Whenever he gets a job & has to actually do something is when he changes. Good future for your daughter! Now she just called me & said the SD & boyfriend are coming to clean our house tomorrow, wife is paying. I thought I might be softening up some lately, the more I think about it I grow with rage toward the boyfriend. I can not figure out their thinking, this may lead to divorce of us, oh well...
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That man is not allowed in
That man is not allowed in your house. Call your wife and tell her you were so shocked you lost your voice when she first called. But you under no circumstances allow that man in YOUR house. Be cold and quiet when you say that.
If she gets all histrionic and snarky, repeat yourself in a very low and calm tone. "Sweetheart, hear me. He is not allowed in my house UNDER. ANY. CIRCUMSTANCES. If he is in there, it isn't my house."
Make sure she gets the message. If she just continues to roll over you on this I would seriously pull the plug on this relationship. Absolutely. Call a lawyer after you hang up with her and get immediate advice on whether you should call a locksmith and prevent woman beater from gaining access to your house this afternoon or whether you should get a hotel for yourself tonight and proceed from there.
I would seriously make this my hill to die on. That guy is never ever coming in my house.
BTW, I seem to remember you
BTW, I seem to remember you saying something before about divorce not being option. Ok, don't divorce. Live like Spencer Tracy did. Just don't live like this.
Yeah she is trying to get you
Yeah she is trying to get you to soften up.
Just tell her the Jerk isn't coming into your home. You will stay home and demand he gets off YOUR property. If she gets snotty remind her that this guy has no problems about beating up a 19 yr old who isn't even old enough to drink. How this guy has a hundred excuses for his 'problems' or inability to act like a real man. And if she finds his behaviour so acceptable then maybe she should think about moving in with them. She cannot glue their relationship together and make her daughter happy. Only her daughter can make herself happy.
But stay home from work tomorrow and do your own housework so there is no need for SD et al to come over. Foiled DW!
She knows how you feel and
She knows how you feel and she thinks it is okay to let him in your home to CLEAN? Clean what exactly--- Clean out your drawers? Will anyone but them be there? Oh hell to the no, that would not fly with me.