Precious Little Princess Boy GRADUATES KINDERGARTEN
I'm so irritated.
SO's mom got SS6 an ipad for his graduation. Give me a break!
I'm pretty sure SO planned it with her too. I remember a few months ago, while I was in another room, I overheard SS asking SO to buy him an Ipad or Iphone. I know he didn't think I hear. But maybe a few days later SO comes to me and says "I heard AT&T has a special going on. 4 lines for $140 (or something like that)". I asked "what do we need 4 lines for?". He says "me, you, and I can get my mom on it, and then the 4th line could be for just in case". I said "no that's ok, I've got a grandfathered Verizon deal for cheap. I don't want to switch." And I left it at that.
Then maybe a month ago, he says "hey, you know Target is having a sale on Ipad's, $100 off (or something like that). Do we need a new Ipad?". I said "no, the one we have works fine...but if you want one, you can buy it". And I left it at that.
What really bothers me is that it bothers my 3 teen BD's. I don't spoil them, I don't reward/pay/bribe them for doing their what is expected of them, I don't pay for good grades. I'm a "I expect you to get your shit done and maybe I'll feed you or clothe you" kind of mom, but in a nice way.
Well, I happened to go to their room last night to talk to them about something unrelated. And they started going on about why a 6 year old should get an Ipad for "graduating" kindergarten, why he gets whatever he wants, even though he's a jerk, talks back, whines like a baby. They went on saying how spoiled he was and that he should know what it's like to be disciplined, to actually hear the word "No", or to earn something by using good behavior. They are right to a degree, we had a talk and hopefully they understand, just like no one has a right tell me how to raise my kids, when and what I can buy them, it's also SO's right how wants to raise this kid, if he wants a bratty, entitled ass-hat, then that's on him. I'm not going to help him, but I'm not going to tell him he has to change.
So after all that, I want to buy each of my BD's something just to say "This is for you for being my good girls, being respectful, getting good grades, doing chores and other things and NEVER expecting anything in return. Here is something special because you deserve it".
Would it be okay though? Like they aren't going to turn into gremlins over night right?
They are 13, 14, and 15. They pretty good teens and I'm thinking they should still have good enough values that they aren't suddenly going to expect something every time SS is an Ass Hat or gets goodies just because he the "Precious Little Princess Boy".
Maybe cuz I'm not used to buying crap out of guilt or to make spoiled brats happy....I'm kind of hesitant.
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Maybe you guys could date but
Maybe you guys could date but live separately while the kids are minors. Then you can parent your kids and he can raise ss howver he wants.
Yeah I would love that idea
Yeah I would love that idea because I do love my SO very much and especially since we have completely different parenting styles.
The bad thing is we have BS2 together. Not that I regret BS at all, but its really hard trying to find balance between our parenting styles. Raise with him good values and morals but at the same time, not have him grow up with a complex. Like hey why do I have so many rules and SS doesn't...why do I have to have good behavior to earn toys, treats, etc, but SS doesn't...why can't I just whine and cry and get whatever I want.
Now just to be clear I don't give in to SS's bullshit. He knows I mean business but he also knows he just needs to go to "daaaaddddaaaaa, I waaaaaant it".
So yeah in dream land I would LOVE to live apart but I don't want to just give up, I need to try to make this work.
Sorry, I didn't know you had
Sorry, I didn't know you had a child with so. Would so be open to getting counseling with you so you could both attempt to try to get on the same page?
Awe yeah thanks! That's a
Awe yeah thanks!
That's a great idea. A girls day out, just us!!!!
Spa day sounds UUUUH-mazing!
Exactly!!!!! Yep I have
Exactly!!!!!
Yep I have savings accounts for all my bio's, college is a priority. SS doesn't have one and I could care less. Their choice to spend all their money on non-sensical crap just to make Princess Boy happy.
SO and I have totally separate finances and split expenses, so if he wants to blow his dough on SS, he better not come crying to me when he's short for the mortgage...
My eldest BS is 21 and grew up just fine on basic necessities with small, occasional "toys"/treats but just like his sisters, receives most gifts on Birthdays or Christmas. I bought him a smartphone for his 19th birthday and in his words "this is AWESOME BLOSSOM MOM!", yeah that had just upgraded him from generic talk only phone where if you wanted to text you have to press the number "2" three times to get the letter "C" LOL, and he never complained about it. He's a full time college student (except its summer break now) but he works part tjme and is putting away most of his minimum wage salary towards his "own joint" for when he graduates. Yeah he lives with us, college is priority. And he's an awesome young man, who appreciates the little things, who just told his Grams that $100 was too much for his 21st birthday that just past, he told her to take it back. She didn't.
Wow, an iPad for finishing
Wow, an iPad for finishing kindergarten? Seriously? My son graduated kinder today and I got him balloons and then we took him and my DD10 to Chuck E. Cheese.
That's just crazy.
Im almost 30 and I don't have
Im almost 30 and I don't have an Ipad or an IPhone or any of that fancy shit. Hell Im typing on the first laptop Ive ever had. Our 2 older kids have tablets but they are age appropriate and where for x-mass. My son is done with K on Tuesday and you know what hes getting? Nothing. Its flipping K!! ANd I love the idea of the spa day for you guys! DO it! YOUR kids sound like they will appreciate the time and gesture. Have a wonderful time!
Thanks, I think they are
Thanks, I think they are too!
My sister and her hubby actually call them "My Girls" as in their girls!!! Probably cuz they have all boys...
Yeah my SO and I have had discussion after discussion about parenting. But honestly he won't stop spoiling the Princess. But you're right, I need to let him know there is more than one kid in this house and that I know he doesn't have to buy my kids anything (cuz I certainly don't buy anything for his) that he should at least be a good "step parent" and put into consideration their feelings and how hurt they were.
And good luck to you!!!
I've got my fingers crossed for you...along with my toes, legs, eyes, whatever else will cross LOL!
OMG yes these kids must be
OMG yes these kids must be related...
SS wanted a Leap Pad for Christmas so SO went out and bought it, along with something like 15 games!
Guess what he said after less than a week...."I don't liiiike it, it's booooring!"
What a turd!
And I bought him that stupid carseat pillow pet thing cuz he asked for it and I was fine with that cuz it was cheap.
He whined at me "that's not what I wanted...I didn't want the doooooog....I wanted the moooooonkey".
I told him "NO first of all, you tell me thank you...second of all you don't say anything else to me unless its something nice".
And I ended it with "don't worry, next time I won't get the wrong thing ok?...cuz I'm not getting you anything".
He later told me he was sorry, but I'm sure it was only cuz SO told him to.
I Like how u put princess
I Like how u put princess boy. My SS is a little bitch too bcuz mommy and daddy have spoiled him. He got the latest and greatest iPad and now had to go to counseling for a porn addiction and blamed another kid for it. Making him the victim (everybody else's fault he is unhappy)...aka spoiled. Giving children things they didn't earn is a disservice. A lot like the welfare system. They don't appreciate what they didn't have to work for and then become unhappy and unbalanced.
I Like how u put princess
I Like how u put princess boy. My SS is a little bitch too bcuz mommy and daddy have spoiled him. He got the latest and greatest iPad and now had to go to counseling for a porn addiction and blamed another kid for it. Making him the victim (everybody else's fault he is unhappy)...aka spoiled. Giving children things they didn't earn is a disservice. A lot like the welfare system. They don't appreciate what they didn't have to work for and then become unhappy and unbalanced.