Hi! I am new here. I have been lurking for many many months and this is my first blog. Until now, I really haven’t figured out where to begin with my story. There are so many things to say about the cast of characters that my DH calls family! This may get long.

I have been married to my DH for a little over 2 years. I am a BM and SM. I have 3 kids: 19DS, 13DD, 10DD (I am the CP) and he has 4 kids (30D-from BM#1, and 19D, 16D, 16S, from BM #2 AKA troll) and 4.5 grandchildren (3.5 from oldest SD and 1 from 19 yo SD). I have not met his 2 youngest daughters (16 and 19. My DH has not met the 4 month old GS) because they think I am the devil incarnate (I swear I am not! LOL). I have a workable detached, yet functional, relationship with his son (16), who is respectful and quiet, when he visits. He is not the problem (mostly). I have an ExH who is a passive-aggressive master and who knew about “gas-lighting,” long before the APA coined the term, “gas lighting.” I will talk about him another time. He takes up too much of my energy and he is not nearly as entertaining as my DH’s family

For the record, my DH’s divorce was well underway when I met him and I am actually a friend of the first girlfriend that he had after the troll and he broke up. There was an amazing amount of PASing (with his youngest Ds) going on, with the assistance of his oldest D(30) and the troll. SD(30) was born/raised by BM #1, who peppered her upbringing with some PAS, herself. Prior to the break-up of troll and DH, the troll and SD, hated each other. In order to achieve a closer relationship with her half-sibs, she nestled her way into their lives and together, the troll and SD(30) formed an alliance and wreaked an amazing amount of havoc with my DH. You see, there was an issue between SD30 and DH. He refused to pay, what BM#1 and she requested for her wedding. Based on principle, my DH didn’t feel he should. She already had 3 kids and wanted an elaborate wedding. :?

The oldest SD refused to speak to my DH for 3 years when he refused their demand. Quite ironically, she found her way back to speaking with DH just prior to moving across the country, last year. Guilty daddy didn’t find this coincidental at all. Apparently, he did not have the proof needed that she was part of the PAS campaign of his two youngest blessed daughters. She wanted to mend fences. Really???? He, of course chose to forget all of the havoc she wrought while divorcing the troll and all of the proven support she gave to her SM (troll), who BTW, had previously shared a mutual hatred for one another while DH was married to her. Anyway, I refused to be a part of the sham and did not attend any “good-bye” parties for this SD even though she requested my presence.. ummm yeah….. I quietly took his wallet prior to him leaving }:) (left his license and credit card in the glove box, just in case) and he had no money to give her… booo Fing hoooo! She has no idea who she is dealing with.

The oldest SD has 3 kids and is pregnant with #4, is a major scammer and has worked her way through the welfare system in two different states. She has spent years in school, on grants, but still has not worked more than a month, in her 30 years. Her husband is a nice guy by nature, but just the biggest slacker in existence (imagine that they found EACHOTHER-kismet!). :O

They used to live on handouts from her BM #1 and the welfare system, but when they moved, the BM#1’s husband finally put his foot down and would not allow any further donations to be sent (he’s my hero!). So, of course, SD has been wanting to build a friendship with me (I just feel soooo lucky!! ;). I had begun having phone conversations with her about little things. She calls me “Momma” Barf! :sick: She has the children call me “grandma” Umm no! I tell them, her, my MIL and BM#1, that I am not a GM, until MY children start procreating; they have not. therefore I am not! They probably think I am a bitch. Do I care? No. }:)

Fast forward, here comes Karma Bus #1: They have moved, and are living in this new state for a few months. By SD’s account, this new location is ~Nirvana~! However, neither has a job. They have 3 kids. No bills are being paid. What does my SD do? This is beautiful! She sleeps with the next-door neighbor for $200, in order to pay her electric bill! Not only does she get the $200, but a raging case of herpes, :jawdrop: which she promptly spreads to her DH. :sick: (do you hear the karma bus tooting?!). So, we talk…We talk about all sorts of things, including the herpes incident and her essentially prostituting herself. But, she is not to fault. I agree! No SD, you are not to fault at all. You needed to do this for your family! You are the pride and joy of DH’s family. Nothing you could do would EVER tarnish their gold-gilded image of you… bitch! I cannot wait for the day that I share this with MIL-Like a squirrel, I am storing these little nuggets for another day! In order to continue hearing all of her deepest darkest, crack-head tales, I must agree and listen with rapt attention... and I do LOL! }:)

My ultimate goal, with these conversations, was to find out, for certain, how much involvement she had in the PASing campaign of my DH’s younger children. I am the secret double agent (self-assigned title) … LOL Her goal was to befriend me so that I will send her money. So, we each have a motivation. In the meantime, I am learning all of these pitiful stories. I guess, I just wanted to hand the confirmation of the PAS activity over to my DH, on a silver platter so that I could say, “See! I was right!” Well, last week, she proudly admitted that she was giving the troll advice. The goal: to take as much as she could from her father as possible-alimony, CS, debt. She was doing this, all in the name of insuring that her brother and sisters would be properly taken care of. She even gave the troll the name of a top attorney in our state. SD was involved in writing horrid , nasty letters to her father for the troll. She was very proud of her role even though she and the troll rarely speak since she moved out of state. Wow! Did she think I was going to be proud of her? Yes, she did! :? Her mentality resides on another planet, in another dimension, far far away….

Anyway, I handed this info. to DH, which, as you guessed it, did nothing with it, in typical ostrich fashion. :? It pissed me off to no end. I am trying to help him.. okay, disengage…. I can’t! LOL Yes, I knew she was involved, but her pride in it, was what really got to me. I have to detach, I know, but the fact remains… There are no good soap operas on tv, reality tv cannot shine a light on this, and quite frankly my mom calls me a few times a week to hear the crazy stories that she could not have thought of, in her wildest imagination. I love my mom. I like to please her. LOL

So… Karma bus #2 (Honk! Honk!): Last week, I received a message through FB from BM#1 (yes, I am friends with BM#1 on FB) and from SD’s MIL (also a FB friend). Both, stating that they were very very worried about SD and family. “Oh, I am too!” I reply. She is now pregnant with child #4. No pot to pee in and barely a window to throw it out of. They have sold all of their furniture for money and any consistently working cars and equipment that her husband was using to sustain the very little work that he did do. They have sold narcotic Rx to the drug addicted next-door neighbor. Their water was shut off, their electricity is going to be shut off and “what will the kids do for Christmas presents and what about the lights she wants to hang for decorations?” They have no car insurance on the old clunker minivan that they do have and oh BTW, they are 2 months behind on rent! She is going to be evicted! “It’s a good thing for those food stamps!” reported her MIL. What should we do?? Ummm… I don’t know, but can you pass the popcorn?

Neither of them have jobs. I am wondering how this is my problem. I am a bystander, I am watching as karma bus #2 is hitting my SD in the ass for the second time in less than a year. As a matter of fact, I have jumped on the driver’s lap and I am honking the horn!! I have feigned sympathy, but yet, have not opened my wallet (ok, I lied. I did once-another story). You see, I am the cash cow, the golden goose. I have the money. My MIL has implied as much. I make a very decent living. I own my own home, 2 cars and pay all of my bills on time. I don’t bother my ExH about increasing CS, even though I am entitled to it. My DH does not expect me to give them anything and I don’t intend to.

But, that doesn’t stop my SD (30) from calling me to have wonderfully pleasant conversations (she is keeping me on the line and thinks I am stupid enough to buy into her pretend friendship). I am enjoying this, knowing it is going nowhere and I am learning more and more about her and her crazy crack-head life and also the lives of my other SDs and the troll. I live for the day that I get to jump on the lap of the bus driver who is steering Karma Bus #3 and #4 when they smack SD 19 and SD16 in the ass. I will be honking the horn and waving out the window all the while insuring that we don’t steer off course.

Okay, that is just the beginning. I have so so so so so much more to tell, but I think I have lost many of you that started reading this post! I will stop for now and intro the other members of this dysfunctional mayhem, they call a family, another time. At the very least, it is entertaining and on some days, I want to just SCREAM! Oh, but GOOD news! My DH paid his last alimony payment last week and we have only 78 more weeks of CS, but who is counting???

You all inspire me! I read often and without knowing it, some of you have helped me to develop cleverly crafted responses to my ILs and DH on many an occasion. Thank you for being a life raft, on some days that are particularly rough!

~All my best

The Golden Goose