babies and birthday parties!
So we told BM and SD about the baby last weekend. I made DH tell BM on Friday so she wouldn't get mad about it. Then we told SD saturday night. We had a great weekend with her. It's so funny how she tells BM how she is miserable with me but yet she stays by my side the whole weekend. She and I watch movies together and she plays with my hair. I love that lil girl.
But anyways back to baby. We told her saturday night and she seemed shocked at first. She stood up and said she was going to bed. And it was early so I was worried. Then I kept talking to her and she seemed excited. She and I went and played monopoly on the Xbox until she fell asleep. The next day she was still excited about it. Even told my grandparents. But as it got closer to time for her to go back to BM she became withdrawn. I don't know why she does this. She knows BM wants her to have fun with us but she thinks she's hurting her mom if she tells her she is happy with us.
Hopefully this will change. Tomorrow is her bday party and the first event I have been to with BM. I am terrified. Even tho I have done nothing wrong I am still the new wife. And no one seems to care that BM has married tho. I'm hoping this will go ok tomorrow. Everyone cross your fingers!!
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It's Funny...
I have been to hell and back with my SS11. But in recent times things have changed dramatically and SS spends a good part of the weekend with me. We too play monopoly and computers together and he chats to me alot because he is pretty smart for his age. BM is not really a problem anymore, only because we will not allow her bullshit to bring us down or bring us to her level for that matter.
Anyway enough on the history, to the point..we have a BS2 and although SS wasn't thrilled back then when he knew I was pregnant, he just adores his only other blood sib now, his little bro. We never say anything negative about BM and he rarely wants to ring her when he is here, his last stint was 3 weeks, yet the day before he goes home he seems homesick, but the day he is actually leaving he too gets very withdrawn, he won't even talk to his dad about why.
I do wonder if he wished he never had to go or if he just hates leaving a place where he has 2 other brothers to play with. He seems quite happy at home, although always bored and spends little time with his mum and we are very interactive with the kids. Well I see I have been no help but I will be interested in the responses to your post as we have the same problem, I wonder if our circumstances are very similar or just the withdrawn bit...
Catch xx
*The Real Catch 22*
I think your SS is going through the 'transitional day'
it's normal for them to switch gears and it causes anxiety, especially when there is animosity between parents. For some reason they feel like they have to present two realities, they just cannot integrate their world. They feel like it is a betrayal of their BM if they enjoy anything about you.
I know my FSS often has 2 stories for lots of things, based on what he thinks we each want to hear.
I hope it goes well anyway.
worried about BM
she probably does worry about how this will affect BM, because BM grills her or she feels like BM will be hurt you will have another person at your house for her to love.
Catch its the same for you because you have more fun at your house, BM may be jealous and the kid feels guilty for having fun with you. We have the same thing, just less often cause thats all we get to see SD as she lives far away and it is very expensive to bring her. But she always withdraws the night before she leaves and it always hurts.
It is so wrong for the kids to have to worry about the parents. BTW, I commend you for attending a party with BM . . there is no way I could do that with ours! let us know how this progresses
"Fortune favors the brave" - Virgil
Thanks yall!
My parents got divorced when I was 5 and my dad remarried very shortly after. My SM was really fun at first. She and I had a blast together! But when I came home from the weekend with them I would lie to my BM as to not hurt her feelings. I would also throw fits to keep from leaving her because I knew she was hurting. I wasn't as coniving as my SD tho and my BM never made me think I shouldn't like SM. To this day even tho my dad and SM are the most evil ppl I know, my BM will not let me speak a bad word against them. She has never said a bad word against them either. I don't know. I'm hoping my SD grows out of it like I did.