Is it rude to NOT show your new baby to your ex?
Ok, so DH and I got into this argument, inititated by my great curiosity and my thirst to micromanage every detail. We had not seen BM since she was pregnant, but she already had her baby and DH was going to pick SD6 today at BM's house. I asked, out of curiosity if he was going to ask to see the baby, he said no, and then I asked, what would he say if she asked if he wanted to see him? and he said "I'd say sure" and then I proceeded to ask him if we have a baby of our own, would he ask her if she wants to see him/her and he basically said "yes, that would be SD6's sibling". Then I said that it might be her sibling, but the child would be MY child first and foremost and I don't think there is any point on us showing her our child. I said that they should ONLY be involved when it comes to SD, and the existence of my child affects SD, but the way my child looks doesn't. He told me that he would think is disrespectful to NOT show her our child. Are you kidding me? I kept telling him that he doesn't "owe" her any sort of respect. If she asks to see the baby (doubtful) then, we would be like "here" and show her, but I honestly don't see the point of showing her our child. Anyway, we stopped arguing as we were not going anywhere, he said that he doesn't agree with me, but obviously if I don't want to ask her if she wants to see the baby, he respects that(agree to disagree). Then, we went to pick SD6 up and BM was carrying the baby but she never said "here, this is the baby" or any mention of it. DH didn't mention it either. I asked him if he thought that was rude, and he said yes, I told him, that I agree with BM on this one, and would have done the same thing.
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YOUR baby, your rules. End of
YOUR baby, your rules. End of story. Our BM will have NOTHING, absolutely NOTHING to do with our baby when we have one. I don't care if she will be my skids sibling, the skids will get to see her and and have a relationship with her, but she will have nothing to do with BM whatsoever and MY child will never go near that creepy whorebag. When we do have our baby (hopefully in the next three years or so) I am prepared for BM to act as crazy as possible and I have no doubt that she will feel that she has some sort of right to see or be around her, but that is just not going to happen. I wouldn't let BM hold one of my plants, let alone my child and I can't believe someone like her is allowed to have children in the first place.
I think you have every right to say no to having BM see or meet your baby. It's absolutely none of her business. Unless your baby is born as an advanced ninja with anger problems and wants to beat the crap out of it's siblings, than it won't affect your BM in any way. It would be weird to keep your skids from meeting their siblings, but BMs business is with her own kids and no one else. We are very careful to keep BM out of our life as much as possible. We HAVE to see and deal with her because of the skids, but anything else in our lives is completely off limits to her. There are no pictures of her in our house, no BM mildew smell or anything else that might make anyone think of her in our home. It is a sacred family space and untouchables are not allowed to taint it. We don't let BM in our house at all, even in snowy weather. She can stand on the porch and wait like the dog that she is. If she's cold under all that blubber, she can wear a parka. The one day a week she comes to our house (or porch, more like it) I sage my house and entry way and burn cherry blossom incense to get rid of her bad energy.
You are in the right on this one!
Agreed, although in our case,
Agreed, although in our case, BM really is not "nosy" of what goes on here, she is good at minding her own business. She is stupid and says crazy thngs, but she is not like psycho-crazy, more like not-much-common-sense type of insanity. But here is the thing, I don't see anything "wrong" with showing her our child, the problem is when DH claims that it would be rude/disrespectful otherwise. Oh well...
OMG, that is what DH said, he
OMG, that is what DH said, he said "why not show our baby off?". ****SIGHS**** the MALE-World....
Thanks Steve!
Why would this even come up
Why would this even come up in conversation? I have two opinions. 1. Were you to have a baby it would be non of the Xs business. 2. If the X offered to show her baby to your DH it is not a huge deal.
In scenario 2 were I your DH I would say if you want me to see your baby show me your baby. Then I would make a polite comment get my kid in the car a leave never have the incident enter my mind again. I don't give a crap about the Xs new spawn and would not give the incident a second thought.
Best regards,
The first time BM came to our
The first time BM came to our house after the baby was born I went into the bedroom with her and shut the door. DH came and got me and said he wanted to "show off how perfect and cute our baby was". He said he mostly wanted to show BM because he knew it would "bother her". Oh yeah, we hate her in case you haven't be keeping up with my blogs, LOL.
Oh yes. I too detest my
Oh yes. I too detest my Skids SpermIdiot.
I felt like gloating the
I felt like gloating the first time we were at a SS's event w/ our new baby. BM had tried to put us through hell with tons of comments to my skids about how DH wanted a new baby b/c he didn't love his boys and all kinds of crap. They said that their mom told them she would never cause them the hurt that a new baby would cause them and the two of them were all she needed. It turned on her the first time we were all in public and the boys said, "Can we show her to our mom?" and they rolled her cute little face over there in her stroller. BM had to put on the fake smile. It's nice to watch such a mean person squirm. She got pregnant six months later.
I think it should just be up to you and your DH. My husband has no respect whatsoever for BM, and that's fine, b/c his boys don't know that. He is completely neutral about her in front of them. It is confusing to my skids, b/c their BM lies and stirs up problems, but they know they can come ask us for the truth. If it were up to him, he would just flash BM the baby and then move on quickly.
hmm...This is a fun
hmm...This is a fun conversation. Hahaha.
This depends on the couple I think. I know I want BM nowhere near my child - not that I have one. But even if I did - she would not see it - the child would be like a "mystery kid" to her. She is actually knocked up right now to the guy who just let her move back in 3 months ago. She is a really good role model for her daughters (NOT!!!).
FH and I have talked about having a baby of our own someday but now I just say forget it because I don't want his horrible brats teaching my 2 year old about sex. What did it for me was when he told me he would leave me at the hospital to go pick up the fsd's so they could be at the hospital right after the baby was born. I told him absolutely not. They can wait until the baby is HOME to see it. First - I don't want any snotty dirty fingered kids touching my baby. Second, I want to get to share that special bonding time women and husbands have. THEIR BM got to have that time - I demand the same respect. And I told him if he p*ssed me off - then I'd divorce him and take him for whatever he has left - he did not find that funny. But sometimes MEN have a hard time understanding WHY their SECOND wives also need to get that "special" attention. GGGGGRRRRRRRRR! I know I don't want to see BM's new abomination growing in her gross stomach. And my FH does not step foot in her house and he has already made it clear that her new child has nothing to do with him. He better make it clear that, that baby is not welcome in his house. (Refer to old blogs with BM chilling in her house.)
Hahahahahah! This is cracking
Hahahahahah! This is cracking me up! Hilarious! The post about BM sitting on the porch like a dog! I almost peed my pants laughing!! Lmao! In my opinion, I would sooo show off my baby!! With every chance I got, but BM would never put her nasty whore hands on my child! And maybe after she saw my baby I would say, wow, now maybe I can be a crazy BM just like you!! Lmao! I wouldn't..hehehe
OMG I almost pizzed myself
OMG I almost pizzed myself laughing just now. Even though DH and I are NEVER having kids of our own, if I did it would be so freakin' sweet because my kid would be so awesome and I would DEFINITELY show my baby off whenever possible. What would be even better is if we had a girl, because they only have boys and BM wanted girls so bad. She'd probably buy my kid, like, Christmannukkah presents because she'd be all jeally that I had a girl. She already does it for my Chihuahua! She met him one day at SS's soccer games, and ever since then, she's been buying him "Christmannukkah" presents and pretending that they're from the Skids, when really I know she wants to love P-Nut so badly and I'm like, bite her! If she bought my child gifts for birthday/holiday type situations, I'd be like, "Yeah, right, beeeyotch, I don't want your cigarette smelling crap all over my baby's sensitive skin. Just because YOU smoked through both your pregnancies doesn't mean I want my baby exposed to that, ho-bag. Why don't you take your Skeletor-looking self back to your cave where you obviously put your makeup on by loading a shotgun with eyeshadow and lipstick, then pointing it at your face and pulling the trigger, and take your ugly baby gear with you."
Boogeymom! Hahahah.. I'm
Boogeymom! Hahahah.. I'm currently in the hospital waiting for my best friend to have her baby, and her n her hubby r sleeping n the nurse was in here when I read that, I had to try soooo hard not to laugh at the shot gun part! Hahahahah... You made me cry! Lol