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I got snapped at by FH for nothing...

FutureSM's picture

Submitted by FutureSM on Thu, 09/10/2009 - 7:21am

Just proof to me that he feels guilty for only having his daughter EOW. But that's all BM will allow, it's not his fault. Last night my BD(4) was kind of whimpering that her back was itching (she has severe eczema) and of course I reached over to start scratching her back for her. FH made some snide comment stating how my daughter has me "wrapped". I retorted, "my daughter has me no more 'wrapped' than your daughter has you 'wrapped'". The point I was trying to get across was that I love my child just as much as he loves his, and that he needs to stop downing me for it. He then replied "I ONLY SEE MY DAUGHTER 4 DAYS A MONTH! QUIT COMPARING FSD and BD!" Wow, I went straight to bed.

Comments

Amazed's picture

Submitted by Amazed on Thu, 09/10/2009 - 7:40am

what's the point? Once he starts acting like a guilt daddy idiot then you can start comparing the "degrees of wrappidity"...You can taunt him..."wow you're WAY more wrapped than me! You drove an hour in a blizzard to get a snowcone for your daughter while I just gave my daughter a snack at home!" lol...good luck to him.

Work out your own salvation. Do not depend on others. ~Buddha

FutureSM's picture

Submitted by FutureSM on Thu, 09/10/2009 - 9:32am

And I have done nothing but try to make the situation better for him. I moved closer to BM so we could see his daughter more (actually, I moved less than a mile away from BM). I try my best to include his daughter in EVERYTHING we do. If we are doing something fun when we don't have her, I always encourage him to call BM and see if FSD can come along with us. I am just SICK AND TIRED of getting ragged on for treating my daughter like a human being. I sometimes feel like FH would rather me treat BD(4) badly, so that he wouldn't feel so guilty all the time. Well, needless to say, that is not and will not EVER happen. It's frustrating. Will it ever END???????

Elizabeth's picture

Submitted by Elizabeth on Thu, 09/10/2009 - 9:37am

I have determined that I simply cannot take it personally. When SD16 disappoints him (like refusing to come for visitation), he HAS to take it out on someone. And that someone is me, not SD. So he will snap at me or we will get in a huge stupid fight about nothing. I have decided to stop taking the bait and just either ignore it or walk away. He HAS to have someone to vent on, but we're soon going to find out what happens when that doesn't work...

RustyHalo's picture

Submitted by RustyHalo on Thu, 09/10/2009 - 9:51am

if he commented me on my being "wrapped" by my biodaughter, meanwhile, he sometimes has a difficult time yanking his head out of BM's and skids asses..........I swear I would punch him right in the throat.

Thanks and bye.

Amazed's picture

Submitted by Amazed on Thu, 09/10/2009 - 9:55am

OMG...I am giggling so bad over that! I can picture DH struggling to breathe around a collapsed trachea...lol }:)

Work out your own salvation. Do not depend on others. ~Buddha

FutureSM's picture

Submitted by FutureSM on Thu, 09/10/2009 - 9:55am

I wanted to punch him in the throat too. How can a man really, truly not see that he is blaming the wrong people. He needs to take it up with BM if he feels guilty about not seeing FSD enough. I am the woman he is supposed to love and with me comes my daughter! GRRRRRRR

Amazed's picture

Submitted by Amazed on Thu, 09/10/2009 - 10:01am

Even my own brother is TERRIFIED of pissing of his sons mother now that they aren't together. My own father was TERRIFIED of pissing of my mother after they divorced. My husband is TERRIFIED of pissing of his exwife and he's even more TERRIFIED of "upsetting" his daughter.

I simply don't get it. MY baby daddy isn't scared of me...how come I couldn't get one of these spineless wimpy men as my baby daddy? NOOOO I have to get the one man in the world who isn't intimidated by his baby momma. DAMN my luck!!

Work out your own salvation. Do not depend on others. ~Buddha

mommommom's picture

Submitted by mommommom on Thu, 09/10/2009 - 10:10am

WOW! He really needs to do some soul searching it sounds like. That is ridiculous for him to take things out on you and even make comments about your BD having you wrapped. So what if she does. If your BD is a well mannered and respectful child it doesn't matter how wrapped you are. That means that you and your BD have a great relationship. Maybe he is lacking that with his BD. But that is not your fault. SELFISHNESS will definitely catch up with a person.

FutureSM's picture

Submitted by FutureSM on Thu, 09/10/2009 - 11:17am

Which doesn't really bother me. My BD(4) is my first and only child, and since she was born I have been totally gaga over her too. I would just like for everyone in our house to be treated fairly. I don't think it is fair that FSD get special treatment because she is only here 4 days out of the month. It's not my BD's fault that FSD isn't here more. Stupid.

Hanny's picture

Submitted by Hanny on Thu, 09/10/2009 - 11:20am

are all terrified of pissing off the BM because she holds the cards with the kids. And they are all terrified of pissing off the kids because they won't come visit.

I wish for once in my life I had a man I could depend on. don't want to take over this blog, but my kitty got ran over over the weekend, and I sure could have used a little help and support and a shoulder to cry on for even an hour. But no, he couldn't leave his 15 year old daughter to come to my house for an hour at 9 pm on Sunday night. Thinking I need to reevaluate my life.

FutureSM's picture

Submitted by FutureSM on Thu, 09/10/2009 - 11:24am

I know what you mean though. I feel like my FH is afraid of pissing BM off too. Whatever. He should have just as much say so in his BD's life as BM, and she treats him like a 2nd class citizen. Bullshit. She's the one I want to punch in the throat sometimes.