Wearing on me mentally
A month ago, DW and I agreed to taking care of SD's 2.5 yr son while she works as a housekeeper during the week (2 hours away), and then comes back here and strips on the weekend. We told her we'd give her until the end of Nov to take care of him, and for her to get her own place. Considering that the money she makes at the strip club is tax-free, she actually makes more than I or DW does per week. One night she even came home with over $500. Of course I've started to notice that when she doesn't come home at night, she seems to come home with more money. (I can only "guess" at how she's getting this extra money)
She decided that she didn't want to do the housekeeping job (no surprise there, she can't stand to do any real work) and will just strip full-time up here. Then last week, one of her stripper friends bought her a ticket to Hawaii and she went there for a week. I was PISSED when I found out she was going. Number 1, she just went ahead and got the ticket, not even asking us if we minded. DW of course defended her saying that nothing would change because we agreed to take care of her son. I argued that we agreed to do this so she could WORK and SAVE MONEY, not take a damn trip. Of course during that whole week how many times did she call and check up on her son? ZERO.
We've been taking care of her son now for over a month and it's really starting to wear on my nerves. DW has to get up earlier than normal (5:00am) to get SD's son ready while SD sleeps. (if she's even home by then) Then she gets herself ready for work, and then drives the kid over to a cousin's house by 6:30am, then goes to work. SD doesn't pick up the kid till around 4pm. (She's actually supposed to pick him up around noon but never does) I cook dinner for everybody and SD leaves the house by 7 or 7:30, and I put the kid to bed around 8pm. I love the kid, but I am tired of never having any alone time with DW, it's always me or DW that is discipling him. Tired of having our TV constantly on cartoons, tired of having our lives revolve around SD and her life. He had a nasty habit of saying "No" and "Shut up" (He learned shut up from SD saying that to him all the time) to everybody, and while SD was gone we actually broke him of it. Soon as she cme back from Hawaii, he's back to his old ways. She spends at the most 3 hours a day with him. Even DW commented last night that SD needs to take a night or two off from work to give us a break, plus she doesn't need to work 7 nights a week at the strip club anyway. Wife gave me her word that SD will move out by the end of November, but I don't see it happening. Whenever SD has a good night, she seems to come back with more clothes and stuff, so I know she's not saving any money. Also if she does get her own place, I have this feeling that she thinks we are going to continue to watch the kid every night, and that shit AIN'T happening!
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You know, I don't know for
You know, I don't know for sure if she really is working EVERY NIGHT, but I suspect she is because of the easy money she knows she can earn. I'd go to the club and verify it myself but it's a small club and being that Oregon has a very small percentage of African-Americans living here, I'd be spotted a mile away.
Yeah she was actually supposed to enroll in school this fall but she didn't because she owes them $500. She's only been stripping for about 2 months but she definitely is good at taking advantage of people, especially guys. I know that we get taken advantage of all the time especially when it comes to watching her kid. I asked my wife last night what does SD plan on doing when she gets her own place because we are NOT watching him every night. No way in hell. I have no idea how long she plans on stripping and I don't even give a shit anymore I just want her out of my house. I am just trying to keep my cool until the end of Nov since that's what we agreed to. I am sick of struggling financially while she makes all this money and contributes NOTHING to our household. All she does is take, take, take.
This woman is a sorry excuse
This woman is a sorry excuse for a woman much less a mother. I know it's driving you nuts, but THANK GOD your Grandson, has you and your DW. I can't imagine leaving my 22 month old for a day without checking in... much less a week???
I also would bet $ that SD "friend" did not buy her the ticket to Hawaii.. SD bought it and used the excuse of friend buying it as a convenient way to pull the wool over DW eyes yet again. She's beyond a piece of work!
You know, you just might be
You know, you just might be right. Supposedly the stripper that bought the ticket is her "girlfriend" (she says she wants to experiment) with being Bi. But you are right, she probably did buy her own ticket the more I think about it and just told us somebody else bought it.
As much as she claims to put her son first, it's fairly obvious (at least to me) that she has no interest in buing a fulltime mom. The most she does these days is give him a bath before dinnertime.
I agree that she is making
I agree that she is making bad choices, and yes my DW is enabling her. We are actually having to pay our mortgage late this month while she just gets to run around spending her money on whatever the hell she pleases. She can afford to buy $80 - $100 pair of jeans while we have to figure out how to survive for the next two weeks with what little money we has left. Really though, I'm just tired of helping to take care of somebody else's damn kid. I know it's not the little guys fault his mom is a mess, but DW has already raised her kids and they are all adult. I've already been nice and not charged rent like SD agreed to since she supposedly is getting her own place. If she does not have enough money saved by Nov to get her own place, God help her because I will have a meltdown and go postal on her ass!!!
You know, this is going to
You know, this is going to sound completely selfish.....but I don't want to have to raise this kid. When I entered into this marriage, I came in as a single guy with no kids of my own, and all of the SKIDS were adult except for the youngest one. Every year since I've been here one of my SKIDS has gotten pregnant. I guess I had this vision in my head of me and DW being able to do what we want, when we want because of not having any kids to take care of.
Like I said, I KNOW it sounds selfish...but at 35 years old I just can't see myself having to take care of SD's kid, know that SD would be out having fun and partying while we are stuck raising a toddler. I would do it out of love and if it was a necessary because I do love my wife very much, but I think I would be miserable and start to second guess my marriage. If it does come down to that though, you had better believe that SD will be paying child support.
You don't want to raise the
You don't want to raise the child - and I certainly can't blame you there! - but SD doesn't know that! My suggestion would be to tell her that unless she stops with the wild lifestyle, gets a legit job and starts acting like a mother PRONTO, you and your wife are going to to file for formal custody and termination of parental rights. That just might wake her ass up.
Granted, you have no intention of going through with it - which is good because you would have one hell of a legal battle in front of you if you did. But it will either get SD on the straight and narrow OR get her scared enough to get him away from your "evil clutches." Win-win! Just don't tell your DW what you are doing because she sounds like a total enabler and if she is aware of your true agenda, she will tell SD in a moment of weakness that you don't really mean it and not to worry her pretty little head. Then you are well and totally screwed and will NEVER get her g-string covered ass out of your house!
Ad by the way, so what if you would be noticed checking up on her to see if she was actually at work????? You are taking care of her kid, she is living there rent free and using you like a freakin' papertowel! If you want to check up on her you have every right and if she doesn't like it she can......GROW UP AND MOVE THE HELL OUT!!!!