Just a little background for those who don't read my blogs. I am a new stepmother of SD11. SD's mother abandoned her when she was just 2 and my DH is a full time parent everyday.

On previous post, I had complained about my mother putting a lot of pressure on me to be SD11 mother since she was abandoned by her. The advise I got was to tell my mom straight up not talk about it anymore, and change the subject every time it approaches.

Started Monday, I am going to start going to counseling on Dec. 17 (I am super excited. I will finally be able to tell someone every damn little thing I think about my new situation and not fear backlash. YAY!!!) I mentioned this to my mom and I said, "Since I am going to start going to counseling, I would appreciate it if you stopped telling me to be her mother. It is those feelings which are causing all the crap in the first place."

Mom said, "I didn't mean it like that, I just meant you should not let it show that you don't like her when you around her. To fake it." (I know that is not what she meant when she said that, but I think she is seeing how difficult this is for me and is now trying to support me.) She went on to say that she now knows how I feel because when SD comes around, Mom is very aware of the fact that SD is not her grandmother, and when SD calls her that, a little part of her dies a well. (I can believe this. My mom's only grandchild, my nephew died when he was just two hours old.) I couldn't believe that she was having such a hard time with it too, since she seemed to be such a natural at caring for SD. Mom said she fakes it just like I do. She also went on to say she can't imagine how hard it is for me because I am having to fake it every single day.

To me though, it is more like living a lie then just faking it, but I have to do what I have to do I guess. At least my husband is so supportive and I get to visit a counselor with all my hurts and get them out of my system.

So Thank you for the advise. I love this website.