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Why Is This SM So Angry With BM?

Francesca's picture

Submitted by Francesca on Wed, 09/29/2010 - 12:45pm

Why am I so angry with you?
You blame me for all your problems in your marriage. You refuse to look at yourself.
You ignore the fact that your actions affect your children.
I'm a step mom, but not a BM. I'm not even sure how to be a mom. When I see your children, I pull a curtain down that means I protect them from your petty, rotten, dysfunctional behavior. I pick up the phone and say, call momma and say hello. I try to explain to your child that you cannot harm an animal, that they have feelings and get hurt, like you do. I can't talk to you, and neither can your FDH, because he left you and loves me. You hang up the phone on important issues and then say he never tells you anything.
Your kids have no bedtimes, no diet (always have a McDonald's bag in hand), no control and no release for their feelings. You hold them emotionally responsible for an adult woman. You think that by making me the devil you are a better person.
If you wonder what your child is doing in my home, here it is.

Being cooked for (normal food)
Being bathed
Being dressed with clothes I bought
Watching movies and reading books I bought
Going to kids activities that I picked out and we paid for
Having hard questions answered
Mending boo boos with magic potions

When your child says "momma no like you", I say "that's ok, she doesn't have to like me, everybody loves you."

I help your FDH with kids issues, schools, psychologists and all the other stuff because you slam down the phone. Then you scream I'm not their mother. Your FDH has asked you to please cooperate for the sake of the kids and your four letter words fill the air.

What will it take to end this craziness?

Comments

Moon Child Step Mom's picture

Submitted by Moon Child Step Mom on Wed, 09/29/2010 - 1:05pm

That had to feel REALLY good to put down on paper… well said Francesca!!! Super proud of you for being such a kind, sensible step-mum. Please know that your unselfish ways will be rewarded one day in the form of a grateful, well adjusted young adult who will always remember you being the bigger person.

*bravo*
Keep up the good work… and vent here often!!!

Happyhippos242's picture

Submitted by Happyhippos242 on Wed, 09/29/2010 - 1:13pm

Why am I angry with Bio Mom -
She says hurtful, mean things to her son causing him low self esteem.
She plays favorites with her children depending on which Bio dad she's angry with
She doesn't work and uses the CS to pay for what SHE wants while bio dads pay for EVERYTHING for the kids.
She lies to the kids and tells them their fathers don't love them - only she loves them because she's the mommy.
She won't get up early with her kids to make sure they are up for school and her son has missed many days of school this year.
She steals money from the jobs she has had and gets fired - and then she brags about it! She can't set a good example for her kids.
She doesn't TALK to anyone. She yells and screams to be heard.
She fights, verbally and physically, with her boyfriend in front of her children; teaching them its ok to hit each other.
She blames the bio dads and step moms (3 of each) for everything that goes wrong in her life.

skylarksms's picture

Submitted by skylarksms on Wed, 09/29/2010 - 1:20pm

Why I am angry with BM (still):

You blame me for all your problems.
You refuse to look at yourself.
You ignore the fact that your actions affect your children.
You expected my DH to wait for you in the wings while you would toss him aside and then guilt him into coming back when you needed money or something fixed.
You lie.
You cheated.
You stole, even from your best friend.
You tell the children lies about us.
You refuse to be responsible for yourself and your finances but use your child support like alimony - but you were never married!
You get pregnant to try to trap the guys into marrying you or at least get CS from them.
You are a control FREAK!
You cannot have a rational discussion with someone who disagrees with you without resorting to yelling and cursing.
You have messed with my DH's head to the point that I doubt he will ever get fixed.