My brother died in 2015.  He was within a day of signing divorce papers with his (ugh) wife (ugh).  She had thrown him out, taken over his trailer, moved several other men in etc.  When he died, he was with a wonderful woman who became my sister. I found out he was dead via Facebook. His cell was destroyed and my parents hadn't been located yet.  Address on his DL was a PO Box.  Motorcycle was registered to his girlfriend's address and she was lifeflighted out.  The Medical Examiner's sister found his Facebook and I was the only relative listed.  I got a FB message with a Doctor's name and a phone number to call.  Wasn't as bad as it sounds.  My parents found out shortly after I did by way of deputies who know my family well.  My brother had been a CO for the county before suffering a major breakdown due to a TBI from a previous accident.

It fell on me to announce his passing so his people would know.  I waited until all of his children were told.  He had 4 kids with 3 women.  Two were adult aged, and out of state having been adopted illegally (no notice given). One had been adopted by her grandparents (I think she was 12 when he died). The youngest boy was 9.  Wifey contacted his oldest son and the 12 year old girl.  We had no contact with his adult daughter at the time.  Youngest boy was told by his mother and my parents.

Memorial service was a telenovela nightmare. Wifey showed up in all black, including a f*cking veil. She paid for nothing for the service yet wanted to wail and gnash.  My parents footed the cremation bill, flowers in the church and the celebration of life pamphlet.  The church was fantastic and paid for cakes and it was a pot luck type thing, though none of us close could really eat at the time.

Fast forward to this year.  I got a message from my adult nephew on Facebook, stating his intent to move back to my hometown.  He said that his girlfriend was pregnant and he intended to take the great grandbaby to my parents so they could "love it."  I told him to leave them alone.  They hadn't seen him since he was 3 and his mother gypsied the kids out.  He is the spitting image of my brother, but blonde. He is crazy as a shithouse rat. He has a criminal record longer than my arm and a penchant for little girls if you get my meaning. He has since blocked me on FB, but I have a Fakebook for that purpose. I figured he was blowing smoke.

WRONG.

Nephew and his babymomma and her fatherless toddler were invited out by Wifey.  Wifey drove them directly to my parents home. No phonecall. No warning.  She hasn't so much as said boo to my parents since the memorial service.  They introduced toddler as my parents great grandson.  Nephew asked to see my brother's room.  Then stated he wanted my brother's things.  Wifey let my brother leave with his clothes, that was it.  She got his clothes he wore during the accident as well, including his biker colors.  For those not keen on bikers, colors refer to vests or jackets with club patches, and they are worn with pride because they are earned.

They got the full house tour.  Babymomma was looking around at the rooms in the house and said to Nephew that "we can do a lot with this house." Wifey mentioned to my mother that the baby will be here in November and her boyfriend "doesn't like babies."  Nephew then demanded, yes, DEMANDED to see his brother, who is now 13.  Before they left, Nephew made a beeline for my dad's truck, commenting on what a nice vehicle it is.  Babymomma did the same with mom's car, saying there was definitely room for 2 carseats in the back.

I am 1300 miles from home.I told DH that if something happens to one of my parents (not saying they would hurt them....they are older and my dad is not in good health), I need to be there before the body is cold on the slab.

I never got along with Wifey.  She broke up my brother's last marriage and tried to be my youngest nephew's mother replacement.  She was 2 years behind me in school and claims to this day that we were friends and hung out.  Nope. I tried for my brother's sake to like her.  I was friends with her on FB until I found out that everything I posted was being spoonfed to my mother.  I was an active drunk at the time. She always lorded it up, calling my parents Momma and Daddy.  Her own family life was shit.  Her mother was a drunk.  Her stepfather and sister went for a hike in the desert and no trace was found until a few years ago.  I have heard through various people including law enforcement that he was having an incestuous relationship with her sister.  Nephew calls Wifey "Momma Wifey."  

Also, Nephew changed his FB cover picture to a photo taken by Wifey of him, babymomma, toddler and my parents in front of my parent's house.

Am I crazy for thinking they are grifting my parents? Or am I overreacting? I need some words from people who are not related to the situation, and I don't have anyone here.