SD is 3 and has wierd attatchment to grandma
Ok so im oging crazy my SD has this wierd attatchment to her grandma my husbands mother. Also the granma holds SD on a pedastool over all of her 6 grandchildren. SD cries if grandma leaves room she cant even brsh her teeth without my SD next to her butt. SD requests all the time for her to hold her and gets mad if grandma holds anyone else. Grandma is a whole nother story I want to scream at her becaseu im thinking already my SD has and will progress into some mental state that she wont be able to have normal relationships because of this unhealthy behavior. Grandma always takes her to store has a special room for her in her house and when we visit she puts all "her" toys up.....even balls! and states "you cant play with kayleis things" she calls it "putting the toys in timeout while they are there" grandma has a million outfits for her along with shoes purses and whatever else you could imagine. I feel so destroyed becasue my 5 year old son tells me he cant touch things becasue they are kayleis or cant do anything bc its kayleis. We had to stay at my in laws while our house closed and grandma "let" my 2 boys sleep in "kayleis room" but she stripped her pooh bear sheets off and folded them in the closet my son had no sheets for like a week just a mattress cover. I was livid and i finally went to storage and got sheets and folded all kayleiis sheets blankets pillows and set them in a nice pile in mothin in laws room. The next day she put everything on bed like it should have been aaaaahhhhhhh ok ill stop rambling but i need advice on how to deal
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my mil is the exact way with
my mil is the exact way with ss4. even sil told me that the relationship between mil and ss is sick. sil also told me that they dont invite us places when mil is going to be there because it hurts her and other sil's daughters feelings to see the way mil in with ss. so because mil is a big raging bitch, dh, ss and i dont get invited to family things...but to cover sil's never tell us, mil tells every one we are too busy and that ive taken dh from his family, BUT REALLY its mil at her finest that causes all these problems.
once my dh saw that there were behavior issues with ss when mil was around he started to correct the behavior. Sometimes i think these men are so use to letting their mother run their life and every action, they never stop to see the chain of events, the just take the easy road and let mil do what ever the hell she wants....
once my dh realized that ss suddenly was badly behaved when mil was around and did not listen, and that his mother talked over him to ss and allowed ss to continue the bad behavior, dh suddenly had much less desire to be around his mother....this is when she started threatening me, telling me that if i didnt back off and allow her to control my dh and ss that she would have nothing to do with me and my children(once we have some)
well she didnt have to offer twice! my kids having nothing to do with her psycho azz, what more could a mother ask for?! I swore right then and there, and made sure that dh was on board, mil will never have any thing to do with my children with dh...they will not EVER call her grandma, and i hope they never even have to know that she exists! As for ss and mil, we no longer have anything to do with mil and she sees ss through bm. so when we get ss back he is just as messed up because he came from bm. It is sad though because ss has 4 beautiful adorable cousins that he will never have a close relationship with because mil is a crazy cunt and sil's refuse to call her out on her behavior.
I cant wait! I dream of the day when ss is old enough to start asking questions and actually understand whats been going on! the smile wink wink wave i will give mil and bm as ss's face drops to realize what kind of people they are will be priceless!
lol, i realized this one hit
lol, i realized this one hit home and kind of ran with it....
oops, but my advice would be to point out little things to fh. he will start to feel the need to call mil on it most likely. If mil is the nut she sounds like she will go even more nuts! like i say, "you can hide ugly, fake smart, but crazy is crazy, and you cant fix crazy!"
crazy people can only keep it together for so long. have you told fh how his mil is treating your kids, how it makes you feel? does he acknowledge that its wrong? any reasonable person, or "good" person would not want some one you love treated this way.once fh calls her on things he will most likely get annoyed when she continues to do it, therefore causing mil to rebel because she feels like she is being controlled, therefore resulting in fh not wanting to be aorund the drama. if i were you i would no be taking my kids around that woman, just as my sil's (as messed up as it is) have done things so the mil is not with their kids and ss at the same time.
we use to go to mil's house to hang out with her 3-4 times a week. once i realized she was a nut, we suddenly had things to do...then she because more of a nut and dh on his own had no desire to be around her
This is a overly bonded
This is a overly bonded grandmother.
I am in the same process on fixing this with my own son and my mom.
I will be handling this myself. It's my mom.
The thing is, this is digging deep into my past. It is something I needed to do a long time ago and did not realize it fully till recently.
Bottom line is she has crossed to many boundaries over the years.
She is a strong woman, so it is what she has always done.
But it stops now. I have begun the process over the last year or so. But she is still trying to control time with my son. By calling me for time with him, texting for time with him. scheduling every available closed school day to try and have him at her house. She uses guilt tactics. everything she can to try and get him there. She has by passed me and tried to ask my wife when it would be ok for her to have him.
This will not be received well.
But it needs to be done.
I have shown her how I want things to be, but never spoke it to her. (This was my mistake.)
So I will calmly tell her this is how it is going to be.
I love you. but it all stops now.
I want our relationship to continue, so please respect my choices for my family I am doing things my way. they may include her or not, But the constant badgering me and my wife to try and get time with him ends now.
Off topic here,
And then I am re starting a bond with my step father who has shown huge growth in his life over the last 10 years.
It is never to late to bond with your step.
He may have done it wrong back when I was a kid. But he did the best he could with what he had to work with.
Today he is a different person.
(Crap lunch is over gatta go)
Ok at first I was going to
Ok at first I was going to say, well my nephew is OBSESSED with my father. They are stuck together like glue and he carries a pic of him (my dad) around the house.
BUT the toy thing? Ok I agree the MIL is going way overboard here, I would be worried too.
Has H said anything to her about it?
I wish my husband did, and
I wish my husband did, and sil notices it too! she has kids and hers come 2nd to my SD. Its sad my H only has 1 sister and MIL just has to favor the kid that resulted from a 1night stand. Dont get me wrong i am proud my H takes care of his responsibilities but damn it just never stops its a constant reminder.
Maybe if you talk to SIL
Maybe if you talk to SIL about it she would be willing to approach MIL about the situation?
You shouldn't it is up to H or SIL.