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An update of sorts...

ezmack's picture

My last (and first) post was pretty negative and filled with worry. Since then we have been through a lot of ups and downs but not has progress been made.

I talked to my partner about my post and the comments and explained to him what I was feeling. We talked about everything and agreed on things we could work on to reduce stress and encourage a more positive situation.

The HCBMs family got involved and told her to stop with her lies as she was having a detrimental impact on the kids lives. After this she agreed to sign our proposal of 50/50 contact.

I'm not naive that there won't be struggles down the line but her family have told us they agree with our position and were willing to speak on our behalf if she had not agreed. This makes me feel a little more positive that if she tries to pull any crap again we'll have some backing because they know what she can be like too.

I have tried to take a different approach with my SD too (She has always liked me but we did clash at points due to her mean girl behaviour and I have struggled to like her) and I think it is helping. Still a ways to go but getting there.

I'm not naive to think that this will be all rainbows and sunshine from here on in but I have reconciled some of my previous worries and recognise now that any decision I make now about staying doesn't mean that I can't change that decision down the road if things get really bad again. 

Talking about everything with my SO definitely did help and I know he gets where I am coming from and wants to help make things easier for me. We are both seeing counsellors to help still with all the stress and drama we have been put through this last year. 

I just thought I would put out in the world what has happened as it does feel pretty good for right now. 

Comments

justmakingthebest's picture

I am so glad that you were able to avoid court. The costs associated when you get into battles like that are astronomical! You are young and don't need to start your life out in major debt trying to work through this with your SO.

I am also glad that he seems to have listened to you and respects your feelings. That is HUGE and seems to be rare. 

Keep us posted and know that your experiences as a SM can be valuable to others on this page, so don't be a stranger!