Hi everyone! I'm new to posting but have been reading/lurking for awhile now and have really enjoyed all the conversations. A little background on me; I've never been married, but was with my ex-BF for 10 years and then still really good friends after the split. We had 50/50 custody of his daughter (I came in the picture when she was 5) until she was 12 then full custody after that. We split up when she was 16. Her and I have always been close and I was still very active in her life after we split. Currently, I'm engaged to a wonderful man with 2 sons. The youngest lives with us and the oldest with BM. Our situation is the 50's TV model except backwards. I work full time (but I'm very lucky that I work for a company that lets me work from home) and he's a SAHD who is the poster child of the 50's housewife. lol. It works for us.

So here's my issue. I'm going to try to make this as short as possible, but it will still be long.

ExBF's daughter (I'll call her EBFD here to shorten) graduated High School with honors and all of us were very proud. BM had been telling ExBF for years that there was a college fund for EBFD from her grandparents which turned out to be a lie. ExBF tells EBFD that he will support her and help pay for college. Awesome!.. EBFD decides that she wants to become a cosmetologist. ExBF get's mad and says that's not a good career choice and that he won't help her pay for that. He wants her to go to a university because she's so smart. Now, EBFD *is* amazingly smart, but she's also SUPER artistic and creative. She is outstanding at painting. She's won 2 congressional awards and has been able to sell prints of her work. She also LOVES doing hair and makeup. When I asked her why she's choosing cosmetology she stated "It's something that I love and I can get a job doing. I would love to become a professional artist but breaking into that as a career to support myself is not realistic." Like I said, she's super smart. She ends up moving out of EBF's house and tries to work 2 minimum wage jobs to save for school. At that point, I offered her to come live with me so she can go to cosmetology school without having to work 2 jobs, but she said she wanted to try first before relying on somebody else.

Now we are a year later and she decided to take me up on my offer. She moved in a month ago and has already had her interview at the school, is scheduled to start in Dec. and is in the process of trying to get financial aide for school. In this process she needs a ton of info from EBF and BM. BM is making this IMPOSSIBLE! When EBFD asks for tax info BM won't bother to get the actual papers and just says "oh it was around X amount". When EBFD got frustrated and told BM she has to have actual amounts BM got mad and said "Don't take that tone with me! You should be being nice to me since I'm helping you." then hung up on her and wouldn't take EBFD's calls. So, EBFD emails all the questions she needs answered and BM replies to a couple questions with "LOL like I have money for those things" when we know for a fact that she does spend money on the things listed. Then she grossly inflated her expenses. I'm sorry but you do not spend $300 a month on needed clothes or $700 a month on groceries, specially if you are getting food stamps. BM has 2 other kids from 2 other men and gets CS plus she has $0 rent because the state pays for all her housing, she gets food stamps and she's a full time student on financial aide (she's been a "student" for the 15 years I've been involved with EBFD and has never worked).

I'm sooooo pissed off. Here I am, not related to EBFD in any way other than my heart. I'm supporting her physically and supporting her with her dream and this woman can't even be bothered to help her own child with simple information so she can go to school?!?!?! Oh and she sent a snide text to EBFD saying "Thank EvilStephMom for helping out MY little baby". I'm just... livid. EBFD has a deadline for her paperwork and if BM doesn't stop being immature, she could lose this opportunity.

Sorry for the long post but it definitely feels good to vent.