Finally just had to say it.
DH and I were having a discussion about our upcoming move and things we needed to get done before we go. We were out in the garage talking about it and of course, here comes Thunderfoot. She does not mind interrupting any conversation that we are having to ask for something that she wants. I don't even remember what it was this time because I just lost it! DH could tell that I was getting ready to explode on her because the first thing out of my mouth was, "Maybe you should worry more about your grades and less about the things that you want. You are NOT getting a THING until your grades improve so STOP ASKING!!!" He took it from there and I just shut my mouth and seethed. She finally trudged her ass back inside. DH said,"You really just don't like her do you Evil? Can you please explain to me why." So I just let it out. I told him that she was lazy and disrespectful (Hello...she just interrupted us like it was nothing at all, like she always does) She is always looking for a hand out. She doesn't think that she should have to lift a finger around the house. She's a smartass. And mostly importantly...she is a walking reminder that he slept with another woman and not only that...he slept with that other woman ONCE and SHE is what came out of it. I don't think he was expecting me to be so blunt about that last part but he did seem to get it. I told him that I was not delusional. Yes...I realize he has slept with other women...but she is just that constant reminder in my face of a one night stand. I HATE IT!!! Maybe if she weren't such an asshole, I wouldn't care , but she is and I do care!
Since I got back to the house on Monday, I have barely spoken to her and I rather like it that way. She can stay out of my way and I will stay out of hers. I usually will just leave the room when she enters. I try not to make it look obvious that's what I am doing but I am pretty sure she and DH have figured it out. I don't pick her up at the bus stop. I just don't do anything where she is concerned.
This morning I got up to fix DH breakfast. I usually do that every morning. I don't cook for her. If I am fixing dinner, sure I will make enough for her to have some, but I am not fixing her breakfast. She gets up in enough time to fix her own. I was getting the bacon out and DH said, "Could you cook a little extra for Thunderfoot?" I just looked at him and dropped the bacon on the counter. I said, "You can cook extra for her if you would like. Better yet, you can just come over here and fix all of it." I know that was probably mean but why would he even ask me to do that? He knows exactly how I feel about her and how I feel about doing anything for her. His response was,"Wow...really?" I said, "Yeah...really." Then I fixed his lunch and went outside to smoke. (I really need to stop smoking) She comes down and doesn't even eat the bacon he fixed her. She had cereal instead.
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Comments
A lot of it has to do with
A lot of it has to do with the constant repetition. You can tell her to do something 1000 times and she just DOES NOT listen. Or she "forgets". I hate to have to repeat myself that much. And at 16, you should know better than to just interrupt someone. My mom would have KILLED me if I had done that. My ex skids weren't the best but they didn't act quite like her...of course I didn't live with them either. I just don't really like kids...period. There are ok as long as I can return them. She's non-returnable. I warned him long ago that I am not the best SM in the world. I don't have kids of my own and I don't want them. All I could hope for is some respect from this kid and it's like beating my head against a wall. I used to do nice things for her and buy her stuff but I never got so much as a thank you from her ever...so now I do nothing for her.
Sometimes you can't control
Sometimes you can't control it and just snap; it's human!
I know when I hear the door
I know when I hear the door open that she is coming to ask for something. And not anything like, "could you help me with XYZ?" It's her wanting something. She NEVER comes out in the garage...EVER...unless she wants something.
It probably was. I know that.
It probably was. I know that. I knew it when I said it. He knows better than to ask me things like that when I am already pissed off though. I think he forgets that I have a temper sometimes. }:)
Yeah he's the only one
Yeah he's the only one working right now. So I don't mind getting up and doing that for him. If I were working too...that would not be happening. LOL
That was more or less a low
That was more or less a low blow. I am typical for that. I have a horrible temper and I am just totally fed up with her. This crap about asking for shit has been going on since she's been grounded. And it's the SAME conversation every day. Well the teacher didn't go over it. Oh yeah, I am going to get to retake that tomorrow. Oh I got another F? I don't remember that. Why can't I use the phone? I don't understand why you would take XYZ from me! Ummm...do you think I could have (whatever she saw on the internet that day)? It's really EVERY.SINGLE.DAY. It's like living Groundhog Day here! That's why now I just have to leave the room. But it never fails she will corner us in the garage. It will happen again this afternoon. I would bet money on it.
Sounds just like her. She
Sounds just like her. She wanted some book last week and DH said he would get it for her. He told her he would try to get it the next day. We were going to be out near the bookstore so whatever. That was the afternoon from hell and we just didn't have time to make it to the bookstore. We didn't get home until almost 10. She is waiting at the door like a dog ready to pounce as soon as we came in. No "Hey glad you're home. Gosh you worked late." None of that just. "Where's my book?" Of course when DH told her he didn't get it, she had nothing more to say and went to her room. He must have ordered it the next day because she stayed on his ass after that to check the tracking on it.
My heart truly does go out to
My heart truly does go out to you. Your situation sounds awful as well. Thunderfoot isn't the WORST kid in the world. She just annoys the shit out of me. I think it's just compounded by the fact that SD13 is really sweet and she and I get along. She's fun, she likes to do things outside, she's a lot more mature than Thunderfoot and we can actually carry on a conversation that doesn't revolve around cartoons...I can't relate to Thunderfoot in any way, shape or form. She is the kid I would have picked on in highschool. Sad but true...
I can relate. The skids used
I can relate. The skids used to interrupt constantly and it hacked me off to no end. DH finally got the point when PrincASS15 barged in and started yakking it up about his ri-fuckin-diculous game BS. Our conversation was important but came to a screeching halt while DH responded. I walked away. DH came to find me a few minutes later to resume the conversation and I refused (which flipped him out). Said that if our discussion was so insignificant it could be put on hold for the oh so important and live changing incidents from a facking GAME that it didn't need to be discussed at all. I wouldn't talk about it until after the skids went back home.
I absolutely LOATHE PrincASS15. There is NOTHING about that kid I like. He irritates me simply by breathing. I took a big step back from the skids to keep from going bat crap crazy. The ONLY time I cook for DH and the skids is when DH and I are making a meal TOGETHER. Otherwise, DH is responsible for feeding them. I will no longer give them so much as a grain of salt.
I will give it to DH...he
I will give it to DH...he ignores her when she tries to butt in with her stupid wants and requests. Or when we are talking and she starts her "Daddy look what I drew today!" bullshit...he ignores her. I want to throat punch her. Loathe is a good word for how I feel about her as well. I just can't stand her. There is nothing about her that I can think of that I even remotely like. The sound of her voice annoys me. She makes this fucking meowing noise all the time ... I want to scream at her! DH and I normally fix dinner together so of course we make enough for her too but if it's just me fixing something...I only fix for me and DH if he wants something. If SD13 is over...I don't cook for her either. Not because I don't like her but she's capable of fixing herself a sandwich or heating something up.
I work in the utility
I work in the utility industry. I have a lot of male coworkers. I've been having some interesting conversations with them as late. It seems to me that really all they care about is "hotness". 'She's mean and stupid and bad with money but she sure is hot."
"and my brother is unhappily married and miserable to this aerobic instructor Sbut she's super hot "
Well, looks fade. I think they pick their spouse on looks. Or did in their younger years. Or hell didn't even pick a spouse just rutted with someone and whamo they are parents to a kid and that's how they decided their kid's mother. Because she is hot.
Well SO's ex wife is certainly hot. She's very good looking. And mean. And stupid. And vicious. One of his kids with BM takes after him. One of them takes after her.
DH was in a band in his
DH was in a band in his younger years. Thunderfoot's BM was apparently a groupie he ran into one night. I have seen her picture and she is NOT hot. She may have been 17 years ago but I find that hard to believe. I am going to take a guess and say that he was probably drunk and/or high when this particular event took place. I could be totally off base but that's what I HOPE happened. She does have big boobs though and my DH likes boobs.
I totally understand, Evil.
I totally understand, Evil. I think it's awesome how you stood up, said it, owned it. SHE isn't a likable person!!!!
Sometimes you have to have an LYS (lose your shit) moment to get your DH's TRUE attention.
She isn't likable at all! DH
She isn't likable at all! DH has even admitted to that. I have a very strong personality and she and I just clash.