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Anti-anxiety meds and my puppies.

Evil stepmonster's picture

I was put on anti anxiety meds not to long ago. My DH feels horrible for it because he knows I never needed it before now. When the doctor asked me what had changed to make me so anxious all the time I told him the God's honest. DH and I got married, his kids are assholes, and exes are POS shit starters. So now here I am, medicated.
It's only been a week, but thankfully I do sleep better but I told DH it takes up to 4 weeks for everything to balance out. He's never been one for patience.
This was one of the weekends when my kids stayed home while his kids come over. Redface Magee is not allowed to spend the night while my kids are home. For what ever reason I am always made to feel like it's all my fault and I'm horrible for it. No blame gets put on BM1 for living in denial, for always telling RFM that it's never his fault when he acts out, and no blame is put on DH for letting him act out and coddleing him for it. No blame is put on Redface for the way he acts and treats people or the things he does. Nope, I'm a heartless evil bitch who loves the sound of dissappointed skids. It makes me feel good to hear them sad!!!
So Saturday night when it was almost time to for DH to take RFM home I hear "the talk" coming from my bedroom. It happens every time he's over and can't spend the night. DH will start off strong, but Redface just pouts and tells him how he just wants to kill himself cause he won't let him stay over that night, and DH always tries to talk me out of it. I struck first.
I rounded up OBS, BS14, and BS9 and our three big dogs.
I don't ignore the little one, he just doesn't walk on a leash at all, he will literally flip and piss on himself if I try to put a leash on him. So, we take our pittys.
DH- Hey, where are you going?
Me- Walk the dogs.
DH- It's kinda late, it'll be dark soon. You really want to walk around by yourself? I'll go with you.
Me- No, you have to take Redface Magee back to his moms.
DH- Well, maybe he...
Me- NO! The boys are coming with me and we're walking three pits, I have my revolver and it's not like we live in the hood. You take Redface Magee home and I'll see you when you get back.
With that I closed the door and off we went. It was a relaxing walk too, so much so that I hadn't realized we gone for over an hour. DH text me to make sure I was alright and when I asked him why he said he had already been there to drop off RFM and is back home now. I looked around just to make sure I didn't get myself lost and went back home.
I think I've got a new ritual for these weekends now.

Comments

MissElphaba's picture

I love it! If I could get away with taking my DS on mommy-baby walks during skid visitation, I'd stay out for an hour myself!

Evil stepmonster's picture

He's got some pretty scary mental disorders. Four or five times the doctors told BM1 he shows signs of schizophrenia, sociopathic personality disorder, and bipolar disorder. She refuses to believe that so she kept getting second opinions until one doctor told her aspergers syndrome.
I know people with autistic kids and some people with aspergers, you don't have to hide the knives or any other sharp objects when they are around. Redface gets violent outburst. He's almost cracked my BS9 sons orbital socket, gone after other kids with weapons, and has threatened to kill my dogs, himself, me, and if he's here and my kids are here I can't sleep at night because I'm worried he'll try to hurt them, or set our house on fire. He's set fires before, but it didn't get out of hand.