It's been a while, so hello all. I've had a very good month. XDH is completely gone. It took me a few weeks to get all evidence of him and his spawn out of my house but I did it. We are all much happier. His name isn't even mentioned around our house any more. I had to block him, his entire family, and all of his friends from fb, my phone, and emailing me but it only took about 45 minutes or so. I've been remodeling my house, letting the kids have their ideas incorporated so we all feel like this our home, not our prison.

Everything has been filed and thanks to the prenups we had there's nothing else he can demand from me. I still have had no contact with him, nor do I want to. All I need him to do is sign the papers.

I got home last night and checked my mail. There were the concert tickets I bought for DH for Valentines day. I kept it all in all night. After the kids went to bed and I was alone in my bedroom I broke down. I realized that even though my feelings had changed for him there was never a time I did not see him when I imagined my future. He was always in the thoughts.
I was probably up till after midnight bawling like a spoiled child who gets told no.

DH and I split last night. There is nothing left to fix. Last night was the first time in a very long time that I slept by myself, I thought I would have been sadder but I wasn't. I slept great, woke and felt like such a weight had been lifted off of me. Packed all of DH's stuff and put it on the porch for him to get. I hate to sound heartless but I'm not sad. I feel like we have been split for a while and both so complacent with each other we just never pulled the trigger. I don't want to live in complacency any longer. I have no clue what my next move is here.