So DH is out of town
And though I have missed him, it has been BLISS not having to be around SD at ALL!!! Quiet, peaceful, no whining, no pacing, no STARING! Gosh it has been wonderful! I haven't had to be around her since LAST Wednesday night, thanks to the visitation schedule and how it panned out with his travel day. Alas, all good things must come to an end. He returns tomorrow and is bringing her home. Yay.
I feel like such a terrible person for this, but I can't make myself stop. She'll go back to BM Thursday and then my weekend will suck because both SDs will be there. I always get completely tense and every other weekend is just completely un-enjoyable.
I am a very quiet, reserved, introverted person. I like my space - a LOT of space. No one that came with the marriage (usually not even DH) understands this about me and inevitably ends up encroaching on that space. UGH.
I SO feel for you folks that have your SD's way more than me and I totally hate it for you guys who have no breaks at all.
One of the things I always loved about DH was how much he loved his DDs - isn't it funny how lots of times the things you loved the move about your SO become the thing that irritate you the most???
:O
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you're not horrible for how
you're not horrible for how you feel. i always started getting tense and irritable on thursdays before visitation weekends, too. what is it with all these sd's and there maddening staring problems? i always thought it was just mine that did that!
LOL you too! Like you, I
LOL you too! Like you, I thought I was the only one with that problem!! She stares at me ALL THE TIME!! Even sometimes when she's whining to him or clinging to him like a parasite!
My friends say she's watching me to see if I react in ANY way, but I'm so disengaged AND determined not to let her see she gets to me, I sit around stone-faced. Unless she pisses me off, then she gets the look that has instilled fear in my own children for 24 years! }:)
i always knew when i was
i always knew when i was being watched for a reaction. she would throw herself on fdh and say "i love you, daddy!" then whip her head at me. i would see this all out of the corner of my eye, i never looked right at her. i'm not playing alpha female games with a freaking kid (young teens) and i'm sure as hell not worried that fdh is going to leave me for his daughter. :sick:
she would do back walkovers and cheers in my living room and constantly look at me to see if i was watching how awesome she was, too. i ignored most of it, except to tell her to take the gymnastics OUTSIDE.
other than that, she just stared for no reason. in the car, she would sit in back and eyeball me in the front. if i was on the phone, she stared hard core, most likely dying to know what the person on the other end was saying as well. she would walk into the living room, go to the middle of the floor, stare at the tv, and then walk back out. stare at me when i'm on the computer. stare at me when i'm talking to fdh, stare at me constantly. creepy.
Hey how do I sign up for that
Hey how do I sign up for that program?
I know what you mean about
I know what you mean about loving something about your DH in the beginning and it irritating you later. One of the things that made me fall in love with DH was his "dedication" to his son. I though- Finally, a man that loves his kid and that will do anything for him. My kids need a dad like that in their lives!! Now, I just wish SS could go live with his mother and us only have him EOWeekend
That "dedication" that I thought I saw was just bull crap and a cover up for doing no actual parenting.
there's got to be someway you
there's got to be someway you can make things less miserable for yourself when sd is there. life's too short to live in misery. it sounds like you allow people to take your space away? your dh doesn't even respect it? this is totally fixable if you're prepared to stand up for yourself.
also, your point of how much you loved your dh was because he loves his dd's so much? LOTS of women make this mistake. these men are basically unavailable, but too selfish to admit it and end up short-changing their new loves, who tolerate it. I've learned and taught my daughters to stay away from men with kids, but if they must run as soon as he says he puts his kid before anyone. there's no room at the top. although I absolutely commend a man for doing that, but he can do that as a single man and not tear another woman's life to shreds. he needs to wait until his kids are out and stable before thinking of his own needs. sorry for the rant, got me in a groove!
You're 100% right Cocoa. I've
You're 100% right Cocoa. I've told my DH this once when I was really frustrated and tired of being last in his life. I told him he had NO right to get married when he wasn't ready to find a balance between taking care of his kid and making a new life with his new wife. Some guys are selfish and live in a self deluded bubble. Just because you thinks the world revolves around your spawn, doesn't mean we should too. We're not going to bow down to your kids and take a back seat. No thank you! End rant. lol
I could of written this post!
I could of written this post! I'm an introvert as well and need LOTS of personal space. DH sometimes understands and usually doesn't bother to care what I need when his precious baby girl in concerned.
I'm away on a business trip alone, away from DH and SD, and it's been a little piece of heaven! We should celebrate and enjoy these moments and not feel guilty
SD lives with us 100% of the time. DH's custody battle with BM for SD's custody impressed me too at first. I was like wow he's such a good guy, taking care of his daughter all by himself...not dumping his responsibility on anyone else.
Fast forward 3 years, and now I have so much resentment for DH who has willingly tried to dump ALL of HIS responsibility on me. UMM no thank you. If SD is so damn precious, don't trust just anyone with her. She's all YOURS }:)