i met DH thru work. we both work for a huge investment company and he works in the home office as operations and i was working at a branch in PA. he was my corporate contact. we started talking in June of 2006 and soon started texting and then talking at home. we realized we were really hitting it off in the fall and i asked him to come visit me so we could meet and see if the chemistry translated in person. and it did. we met on december 1st and started visiting every month or so back and forth from then on, and did long distance for the next 9 months. i decided to move on october 1st of 2007 and quit my job. luckily, i had an interview w a broker at the home office headquarters and got the job 2 days after i moved.

him having kids really didnt matter to me...i loved him so much i knew i would try anything bc i desperately felt we belonged together. i was concerned about living full time w a teen boy, but there are no problems between SS and i.

as for SD, i thought him having such a young daughter was cute, but now i dont. i hate that he has a child that young w someone who isnt me. i knew BM was crazy, but i didnt know the extent of it, i dont think he did either, bc apparently she flipped when i moved in. like endora, i didnt think 2 nites a wk and EOW would be bad.

since then we've been thru so much w BM...and visitation is now EOW only. DH and i are both on the same page about that whole situation. things have improved, but i always live in fear of when the other shoe will drop and she will start up again. crazy just doesnt change...

but now we are married, as of oct 4th 2008, and planning a family of our own! i know i would not do this for ANYONE other than him...that is how much i love him, and how much worse it is than i thougt it would be...

"Given the right reasons and the right two people, marriage is a wonderful way of experiencing your life."
~the late great George Carlin

I met my DW through Match.com. I met and dated a few women that way with mixed results. DW and I hit it off immediately and had amazing chemistry.

I decided to take on SD with her for a number of reasons.
BF was not in the picture and I didn’t need to deal with him.
I was very impressed on how DW had done raising SD on her own. My mom raised 4 of us alone so I have a soft spot I suppose for single moms getting it done on their own and doing it well.

We spoke a number of times about our views and values. On more than one occasion DW mentioned that she valued my opinion and trusted my judgment. I believed her. I wouldn’t have married her if I didn’t think that was a true statement. Reality has shown, however, that she doesn’t trust my judgment and tends to ignore my opinions in the area of SD.

Prior to meeting DW, I was divorced for about 5 years. I had no intention of marrying again or having a family. My reasons are largely because of where I am today, I never wanted to be on the edge of loosing my family, to becoming a part time father to a child who may or may not ever really get to know me.

My attitudes changed around 9/11. I guess I felt my mortality more, and a desire to have something more worthwhile in my life.

1. I met DH in New York. We both worked for an airline and were on a trip out there with an afternoon off. (I used to be a Flight Attendant, he's a pilot) Ok you can laugh at the stereotype! He and I went out for a walk to kill some time and ended up at Shea Stadium where the Mets were having a game. We ended up going to the game together and had a total blast! We've been together 3 years, married for 1 1/2 yrs and have BD who is 10months.

2. For the most part the skids and I got along very well, and they accepted me. BUT I was also very naive about the complications that would stem with dealing with BM. SD11 and I have a pretty great relationship, SS9 and I struggle though.

"Just because I'm paranoid doesn't mean people aren't out to get me"

met at the most unromantic place EVER.

Taco Bell.

I was ordering my food being an innocent 15 year old (it was four years ago... so DH was 22) and I noticed DH in the corner of the lobby, eating his nacho bell grande. He was so cute! Well, except at one point he had nacho cheese dripping off of his chin. :o

Anyway! You know how you look at someone... and then they look up and you quickly look back down... and then you look up again and then they look away.

... Yeah. That's what DH and I did for the longest time before he decided to get up and join me.

That's how it all started! Now, we didn't start dating until I turned 18 because of the age gap, but we became really close friends before that.

As for taking on Blabb... I was hoping that maybe we could make it work, so with that thought I was delighted to accept Blabb as my stepdaughter. Then I realized how horrible she was!

So here I am.

I had gone to a college prep summer camp and he had gone there from the a different town. He would hang out with me, my cousin and 2 other girlfriends and we became known as the 5 Musketeers. After that we lost touch but saw each other again when we both went back to the same camp as counselors in 2001. We lost touch again and then he got in touch with my cousin via Myspace in 2007. He found out that I was living in Atlanta like he was and asked me out to catch up... Initially we were only friends but things clicked and moved forward very quickly. By this time I knew he had a child but he didn't see him that often. I met SS in March of last year, after DH had already proposed, but before he told BM.... I took the step because kid was a sweet kid because he is little and BM wasn't intrusive. I had previously always said that I would never date a guy with kids but MY DH was definitely special and I was VERY NAIVE about what I was getting myself into. So I After DH told BM about US, things changed... She told him he wouldn't be able to see his kid again and that whole song and dance... Lately she's been pretty quiet and it's GREAT!!!! I am glad I married DH, I still don't know if we're going to make it through and there are many times that I YEARN for my freedom days. But overall, he's a good guy and I can NOW see and feel that he is setting boundaries so I am hoping this will be one of many V-Days we celebrate together

PS: The one thing I love about him is his ability to make me laugh and lately his ability to accomodate my whims

It was one of those "everything stops and you stare at each other" moments, and I thought he was so very attractive.
He still says I was the best looking girl at the convention

We met through mutual friends at a bar afterward, and talked a little. After that, we started conversing via myspace. I was pretty much convinced he was either a sociopath or the next love of my life. Apparently it was the latter, and we've been together ever since.

I knew from the getgo he had a daughter, who was in his life on weekends. we spent weeknights together, and some weekends. After I met SD, I began advocating to see more of her. It was never really a conscious decision, I know having her around was what he wanted, and he wanted a family more than anything, i.e. me, his daughter, and another child together. Strangely, we both had dreamed (actually asleep dreaming not future hoping) we had a son with the same unusual name. We both believe in omens, and that was a pretty huge one.

I knew that his end game was to have SD live with us, and honestly, it became a no brainer for me as I got to know her. I knew it was best for both of them, and I have been secure in my position as wife, I always wanted to be a family too. I don't regret it....

"Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." Albert Einstein

him on Craig's List (not the naughty part!

2. I decided to take on the stepkids because when we were first getting serious, every time I had an issue with his kids or BM, he actually listened to me and adjusted his behaviors/attitudes accordingly. I have never, ever, had a boyfriend really listen to me like that (especially not my first husband), and after a year, I realized that we could make marriage work and not have the BM or the SKids destroy our relationship.

- You are not second best, you are not second class. Do not ever let anyone make you feel that way. (2Bloved)

I met DH at soccer, his son, and my bio daughter landed up on the same soccer team. Funny thing is, I talked to BM first, she told me she was divorced and that was her ex over their, later I he started talking to me. Little did I know that this would be the women who would be an eternal thorn in my side.
and
I had 2 bio kids about the same age, when I met ss he was sweet, cute kid, I didnt really think about it. I thought it would be like the Brady Bunch haha.. right...

I was out with my girlfriend one night and this guy just came up and started talking to me. I was in a new town, so was he. He was going through a divorce. We have spent almost every day together since.

As for the children, well I loved him and at the time I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. All my friends and family loved him. I'm the only one of my friends without children, so i was always around kids so i figured, no big deal.

Yeah right, just bc all my friends children behave one way doesn't mean that his kids will. I never had to deal with a highly emotional, needy, whinney, attention seeking 6 yr old male child.

HOWEVER.... I thought visitation would be EOW not EW! I even told him after we found that out AFTER we moved, that if I knew that I wouldn't have moved!

OHHH WAIT!!! It gets better. When I first agreed to move with him, he promised that i didn't have to work that I could go back to school, that he would take care of me. Then a few months before we left they starting having problems at work (he was supposed to be promoted and work for the same company, but work from where we were moving to), and the guy decided not to open up shop in the place we were moving to anymore.

I thought to myself, "Okay, I love him I can't just change my mind like that, things change, I'm not a gold digger, it's fine." He eased my fears by saying that he could work for his friends company that was doing very well and he potentinally could make alot of $$$.

Well HE WAS WRONG!

WOW...Crayon we have a lot in common. My ex (the one who made me a step mom) was 18 years older than me and I was his secretary him. He was married at the time and so was I when we started seeing each other.

Yes I cheated on my first husband (who I had met in HS and got married when I was 18) to go out with my second husband. He and his wife had been married for 20 years and again no sex, no commonality except for the 5 boys they had together. So anyway shortly after we started going out he left his wife, I left my husband after first time out.

His first wife did not give in easily to the divorce and it took many years. We lived together for 4 years before getting married. My oldest step son is 6 years younger than me. It took many years for the 3 oldest skids to come around, but they did and I'm closest with them now and my step grandkids. I have been divorced for 10 years from this man, we had 1 bio girl together who is now 29. I must admit when our daughter was born things did change. Before she was born everything in our life was based around his 5 sons, bought a 5 bedroom house (for their occasional visits), all vacations, holidays, everything. But I was too young and naieve to complain. But after our daughter it was like he was reborn with a new family and was a wonderful father I have to say. Just not a good provider and not a very good husband.

You would have thought that I had learned my lesson with the step kid thing. Nope, now I'm involved with a man who has 2 girls, 19 and 14. He is 12 years younger than me (went the other way this time ;)). We have been seeing each other for 5 years. I have never slept over at his house when he has his children. We see each other mostly during the week (again we met through work also, work for engineering company, but different departments). We do get to spend an occasional weekend together and I do occasional things with him and his daughters (mostly youngest one now).

Sometimes I enjoy my quiet weekends and being able to do whatever I like, and sometimes it is lonely. Since I just turned the big 60! I have been thinking a lot about how I want to spend the rest of my time on earth...do I stay with this guy for whatever time we have left together...I think once his daughter is older he will want to move on with someone his own age. Sometimes I feel like I've wasted the last 5 years of my life not getting involved with someone who wants to settle down. The only thing I know for sure...he's kept me young. I guess I'm a cougar! From the very beginning there have been no false pretenses of marriage or anything other than what we are now. We are monogomous and everyone we work with knows we are together. His ex wife is wonderful to me...she loves me. And if you read my past blogs you will see that there have been problems with her re: money, more money, PAS, phone calls, all the usual.

When I figure out what I want to do when I grow up...I'll let you know. In the meantime...lots of soul searching going on!

This was interesting...I enjoyed reading what everyone wrote!

The first time I saw my future husband, he was taking inventory of the dairy isle in the Co-op I frequently shopped at. I believe it was his first week there because I had never seen him before. I thought he was really cute. I even went home & told my mother that the Co-op had hired a really cute guy!

About 6 months later, I found myself looking for a new job & was hired as a cashier at the same store. We did a lot of flirting & worked along side each other often, but I didn't think he liked me in a romantic way. When he finally got up the nerve to ask me out, I had just started seeing another guy! I could not believe my luck! I stupidly moved to be closer to this other guy, but came back a year later. I knew once I saw my FH again, if he hadn't found someone else, that we'd end up together. It was about a month of flirting before our first real date, which was awesome. We talked for hours...only to eventually confide our feelings for each other.

We got married in October of 2007, almost 2 years later. If it wasn't for BM, our life would be sickeningly perfect. We get along way too well, share the same goals & values, think alike, etc. We don't have kids together...yet...we're hoping to change that, though. (Hopefully some of Bella's luck will rub off on me!)

The whole stepkid issue wasn't really a big deal to me. I've always wanted kids of my own, so I figured we could eventually blend everyone together (yeah, we all have that Brady Bunch dream, don't we?!). And when I came along, SD was 5 & FSD was 8, so they were fairly young & not yet brainwashed by BM. Looking back, I was really naive about everyone getting along. BM was really nice to me at the beginning, but once she saw that I wasn't going anywhere, I think she became jealous & felt threatened.

girl really likes boy.....girl and boy fall in love, girl falls in love with skids too. I met my DH in a classic place.....a bar, my friends were in a band.....it was like Cheer's in there, all my friends were there, knew my name yadda yadda, yadda. And then "he" showed up in front of me one night, and told me how he really felt.....the rest was history. We were living similar lives, divorce, 2 kids, gone through too much too fast.....it was all the same. Getting involved with the skids was another thing, the decision to take that on, was, when one night I was at his house, he was working, and we had plans to meet up (at said bar), and he called and said BM has been arrested AGAIN, she had beat up her BF, by throwing heavy objects at him, so he turned her in to the cops, LOL, but the skids were there for the whole drunken incident,called their dad, and needed to come stay with him/us. When they came walking through the door, crying, and upset,hugging me, that's when I knew.......I was IN this!! "We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand."~ Randy Pausch

We were both going through divorces at the same time. We started talking then hung out as friends a couple of times then one night we kissed. We have been together ever since.

As far as the skids go, I think I was very naive about how things would be. We dated for a while then introduced the kids. I am a kid person and really liked them both and became very attached to sd. I really tried to get to know them slowly and it seemed like it was working for everyone for a time.

Things with bm were good too. Who knows where it all went south.

I met my FH in 2002 when I moved to start a new job. He used to come by and say hi to me all the time but I got him mixed up with all the other guys that would come talk to me - you know big company - cute girl - they all want to talk. He left back to his homestate a few months later but was good friends with my boss. He would call once in awhile to talk to my boss and if my boss wasn't around he would transfer his phone to me so I would get the calls and be pleasant and chat with him. Probably for like 20 minutes a couple of times a month or so and he would send me jokes, etc. I was bored at work and he was funny so what the hell. He got laid off from his job and asked my boss for a job in 2005. Two weeks before he was supposed to fly out and start his new job he said EMA I am so excited to see you again and I would love to take you out to dinner when I settle in. I said what are you talking about I have never met you before. SILENCE. Then he started yelling I can't believe this you mean after all this time you DONT EVEN KNOW WHO THE HELL I AM??? I said well I'm sorry I talk to a lot of the bosses friends that I have met and haven't met. He said he felt so humiliated because all this time he thought I knew who he was and I was interested. He started work and I met him and he was not to tall, pudgy, and had glasses but was very nice. I was dating someone else but we broke up a couple of months later. During that time my FH would show up in my cubicle every time I turned around. He then proceeded to talk the person that sat across from me (unbeknowst to me) to switch with him so he was in my face every day at work. I guess he just kind of grew on me and we went out on our first date to Home Depot to look at some stairs I wanted to put in (which by the way finally got done this past month) and we have been together ever since. We are madly in love with each other and have our quirks and even after all the crap with BM and his house, etc. I think things could actually work out. We will see. Fortunately SD16 is wonderful and LIVES FAR AWAY!!!!

At first. I met my H through a friend of mine, I have known since high school. I was 21 yrs and he was 25. He said that he had a 3 year old, I didn't think anything of it. I had never known of any familys that were split nor the trouble that one causes. Rose colored glasses I guess.

I meet my SD about 6 months after we were together. H only saw her EOW, and NEVER said a word about her when we were together. The first time I meet her she was taking a time out!! RED FLAG hello!! After the first meeting I did not see her again till H moved into my 1 bedroom apt with me about 5 months after that. He asked if he could bring his daughter over EOW or if he should take her to his moms. I said she could stay with us, and for the first 2 years of living together everything was fine between BM/SD/me. Then I got pregnant...everything changed. BM turned into a psycho control freak, SD turned into the devil, and H and my money were together (first time to deal with CS). That when I realized the trouble I was in! But it was to late, I was already in love with him. Now 6 years after we have meet I still love him, even though there have been times in our relationship I've questioned that. And we are expecting our next child (planned this time). Things are pretty good now. Our basic parenting skills are the same, he does not guilt parent and often times is harder on SD than on BS. Since we have core beliefs that are the same it makes it easier on us. We do fight but we fight about his drinking, and BM. I blame most of our issues on SD, he blames most on BM. So that is were we differ on topics.

But like I have said over and over again, I love my H but if things don't work out I would never even date a man with kids. That way I won't fall in love with him and force myself to deal with this mess.

At the dog pound. I was a volunteer and he was a K-9 handler. It was many years later that we decided to take our friendship to the next level. As for taking on the chore of raising his kid I plead temporary insanity.

At the dog pound. I was a volunteer and he was a K-9 handler. It was many years later that we decided to take our friendship to the next level. As for taking on the chore of raising his kid I plead temporary insanity.

DH and I both worked in Law Enforcement. I was new and noticed him shortly after starting there. He didn't notice that I existed. I inquired about him one day and discovered he was married and there went the fantasy. I did not see him for about a year or more as we worked different shifts. He would be leaving as I was coming on duty and strangely enough I would be leaving when BM was coming on. I went out on medical leave and he was working my position in my absence since he was new to the shift. Everyone was telling me about the cute guy who was filling in for me. I really had no clue. I eventually returned, but not to full duty status so he remained there. We would talk and share and I disclosed to him the issues that I was having with my health and then he confided in me the problems that he was having in his marriage.

I thought that he was using that as a line to screw around so I steered clear of him. I did encourage him to buy her flowers, romance her, get a sitter and spend quality time with her. You know gave him the woman's perspective on what was maybe missing. He tried all of those things and then some and BM was just resistant. He later discovered that BM was having an affair. Tried to work it out, but BM did not want to end the affair. Upon hearing that he immediately went and filed divorce papers.

Some time had passed and he was still actively pursuing me and I thought "Oh HELL no I'm not going anywhere near that." I didn't want to be the rebound girl. I didn't think that he would actually leave because the kids were young. I didn't want to be a fling. You know the deal. You must understand that DH is a hottie even with an added 25 lbs. Women were literally throwing themselves at him, but he was only interested in getting to know me. Some friends of mine were kinda egging it on for me to at least go out with him once. He used to cook dinner and bring it to work for me, bring specialty teas because he knew I preferred flavored teas over coffee and was just genuinely sweet towards me.

I finally gave in and agreed to go out on a date. (At the time I was on a portable mini IV that administered my medication 24 hrs a day). So, when he arrived to pick me up, after kissing me on the cheek and telling me that I looked beautiful, he asked me "Show me what I need to do in case you get sick when you are with me." My eyes twinkled with stars and I fell in love INSTANTLY right then and there. You have to understand the extent of my illness. I was told I had 2 years to live and was even on the list to recieve a lung transplant. I'm talking I had the pager and all. This man took such good care of me. And the best thing of it all is that HE believed in me and had faith that I would get better. So in a sense he took a chance on me as I did on him. He has continued to treat me like royalty and we just WORK. I called my mom that night and told her that I had met the man that I was going to marry. DH proved that he was a stand-up guy and he taught me to not judge a person because of their circumstances. We married about 2 years after that. I have since come off of the portable IV pump that I was told that I would be tethered to for the rest of my life. I am also 9 years past my "expiration date." I attribute that to being loved wholly and completely by a wonderful man. I shudder to think what I would have missed out on had I not given him a chance. Thank GOD for nosey co-workers huh?

People who get on HIGH Horses will find the fall to be most painful. ~ME :->

He and I worked together for 10 years both of us were married. Eventually I got another job offer and left...a few years later I ran into him (bar) and we talked all nite. At that point we were both seperated. I left the bar and didnt think anything of it. I thought we were 2 people that just shared a common problem and needed to share. A few days later he called and asked me out. I was blown away (IM 10years older than he)..We went to the movies and dinner...I was in love! The skids, well at that time he only had them 4 days on and off..so it was cool. Plus his kids are really not to bad. I dont have any kids of my own so what the heck i thought.............looking back..Id do it again.......love my DH to pieces!

and I just saw something in him that I knew was just what I was looking for....what I wasn't looking for was this crazy BM....and maybe I didn't realize just how crazy she was..but I knew he and his kids needed help....and at first it was EOW..and it was great...but I knew in my heart that the kids were not being taken care of as they should be...and I knew he wanted them to be with him 24/7, but I guess he never felt the stability to do that....soooooo here we are....SD17, SS15 and SD12 living with us full time., excelling in school,,and doing very well overall...and as hard as my life is...and u ALL know how hard it is, I wouldn't change a thing :)...Happy Valentines Day everyone!!!!and just as someone posted earlier, I too would not do this for anyone else other than my DH

I was doing an inspection of his dept. and he flirted with me outragiously and I was so wrapped up in my own head that I didn't even notice until he just bluntly asked me if I was married. He asked me out, funnily enough I had a date that night and another 2 days later(when it rains, it pours!) , so he asked me out for the day in between. It was the best date ever and I cancelled the other one. We went out every night except when he had his girls. Two weeks later he asked me if I would consider marrying him. I said yes. Then I met the girls, and it wasn't smooth sailing but it seemed workable. We were married within a year, and it only took that long because I made him wait. Hubby had already told me horror stories of the BM, but I didn't really witness any first hand until after we were married.

I decided I would take a chance on a man with children because I was hopelessly in love with the man. What else can you do? I've learned to love the skids. BM is ridiculous and evil, but you learn to deal.

In Ky, we have this thing called the "Crusade for Children" which happens the 1st Saturday in June every year. The firefighters all get together and go door to door and stand in the middle of the road collecting money for the Kosair Children Hospital here in Louisville. Anywho....DH had previously been on the department before he moved with exB to Georgia for her job. He had just gotten a divorce and had come back to KY to get a job and bring his children here away from exB. So, he was visiting the fire department to see his old friends and to try to get a job. I was dating another firefighter at the time and happened to be on the same firetruck he was on. It didnt have cover on the back seats and when it started to rain, he offered me his seat. The guy I was dating didnt offer me his....jerk!

So, after we got back to the firehouse, I thanked him for his seat and went on about my way b/c he looked quite a bit older than me and he had kids which I was NOT interested in! I did ask the captain about him and he was telling me his sad story. I ended up feeling sorry for him. The guy I was dating at the time was friends w/DH, so he talked on the phone with him a lot and sometimes when he'd call for BF, I would answer and talk to him instead......

The rest is history...it was all so fast, yet so romantic.

As for why I took on his kids, well basically i felt sorry for them and thought I could make a difference in their lives. Pfft I was definitely wrong in that respect! I tried in the beginning to get along w/BM, but she was having none of that! I guess I could say it was temp insanity.

I met my husband while I was on a payphone and he wallked in and he was staring at me, which really pissed me off, I got a crappy look on my face and waved and said "Hiiiiii" very snotty like. Then I walked out into the parking lot to leave, dropped my cigarette, bent over to pick it up and heard a man behind me say,"those things will kill you." We started talking and spent 2 hours talking and I took him home. (Sure makes me sound like a who*re doesn't it??) 4 months later we got married and have been married for almost 8 years. He is my best friend.
As far as the kids, they were babies when we got together and it never even crossed my mind to not be with this man and accept his babies as well. I am very close with them and thank god for all of them every day. There is my story.:)
Making the decision to have a child is momentous~ It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking outside of your body~

Some background, I went to college with FHs brother and his sister-in-law. FSIL lived next door to me in the dorms and we've been the best of friends since day one. They've both been friends of mine for 16 years which is longer than they've known each other. They met each other at a party at my house! Never met FH because he was in the Navy or always lived in another town.
The first time I remember meeting FH was at my friend's (now his SIL)house about 12 years ago and he was in town on not quite leave from the navy. I was dating someone else and I met him briefly and kind of wrote him off as what I called "his brother minus" because I never considered his brother dating material for me personally and with FH being the younger brother I assumed he would be even more lacking.

So, 3 and half years ago, I'm living as far from Texas as you possibly can without leaving the continental US. I was freelancing at the time and things usually slow down for the holidays so I decided to come home and visit friends and family all over Texas for about a month - Thanksgiving to Christmas. My first stop is to see FSIL and FBIL. They had recently moved to the town BIL and FH are from so they're spending a lot of time with the family and I get sucked right in. FH is there and I had already met most of his family from being friends with his brother and SIL.

Well, FH's family does Thanksgiving the Saturday after. SIL's family has Thanksgiving on Thanksgivng Day and they live about an hour and a half away. She tells me I can go with them, but having gone home to visit with her in college and having THE most uncomfortable time of my life, I opt out. FBIL wishes he could, but he can't. So, I spent Thanksgiving Day with FH and it was wonderful. We fell in love that day. We just watched movies and talked and listened to music and drove around. We were just instantly at home with one another and laughed so easily the whole time. And we still do.

I met his kids that Saturday for Thanksgiving and though I'm not even really a kid person, I thought they were pretty awesome. They made me fall even harder. FH is such a good dad. To see how much love he had for his kids, I just had to be a part of it.