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A concern?

emotionally spent's picture

So with deer hunting season coming up BF is going this opening weekend and won't have the kids. He asked to have them an additional night this week. BM says..."it's fine with me but I don't know what the kids want"...Right now they are ages 4 thru 10.

Shouldn't the adults be working this out? Is this type of behavior going to cause future issues? How does this get nipped in the bud if it could cause future issues?

Should the kids have an 'input'? I get this nervous tic when I hear..."well let's ask what the kids want". I read all these horror stories about skids ruling the household so to speak and I would really really try to avoid as much as possible. If it can be done at all...

Comments

Ninji's picture

BF does this shit all the time pisses me off. We are talking about moving soon because our house is just too small and he says he needs to talk to the kids about it. Really why? Are they going to help pay and box shit up.

Bought Disney passes for the year a couple of months ago, he has to ask SD what she thinks about it. Drives me crazy. That is one of the things we fight about. 8 and 10yr olds don't have a say. I'm sorry.

Evil stepmonster's picture

It's alwasy good to make kids feel like their opinion or feelings are counted, but no I wouldn't give young children the final say. If they agree to it then BF gets the kids.

emotionally spent's picture

I agree kids should be able to voice their opinion (RESPECTFULLY) but I also don't want the household being dominated by the kids either.

Glassslipper's picture

My DH and BM always said it, it would make me fuming MAD! The kids were 7 and 4, and they would be like "Let me talk to the kids and see what they want"
They always picked the option that would appease the parent they were either with or the parent they were most scared of (BM) and then it put extra weight on their shoulders.

Also, DH and BM would always ask the kids "why didn't you pick to come with me, It hurt my feelings when you decided to be with the other parent"
After the decision was made or the next day...
Talk about mentally damaging children and putting them in the middle.

I don't know if they still do it, I kinda checked out of that because I saw the damage it was doing...

No saint's picture

I believe parents should decide among them; unfortunately have never been able to convince DH and BM of that. Sad