You are here

BM thinks SK is the most vibrant while I see nothing more than a bored and whiny kid

EmmaGirl's picture

First of all, I am so frustrated right now that I kept quiet the entire morning. I've no one to share this frustration with thus this post.

Second of all, my SK doesn't hate me and I don't hate him. In fact, he thanked me once for being good to him and for taking care of him-- I appreciate that.

But I have complaints, too, like any other stepmoms out there.

I know the BM thinks SK is the perfect kid but I see otherwise. In fact, I haven't seen any kid who is as negative and as whiny as this kid. My DH is the most positive and happy man I've known so definitely, SK didn't get these attributes from his dad. If any, it should be from BM.

When we go on trips, I can stand some whining from him but most of the time he ends up whining for hours. Sometimes he'd go on this wild, frenetic behavior and will just scream out of nowhere and start crying especially when he's frustrated because my DH and I don't usually react to his complaints. (I must have done a great job putting on these imaginary earplugs or am I just THAT patient?) Our toddler is faaarrr better than him-- I mean, there's really no point of comparison, it's like day and night! He's also the most negative kid! He would never ever go with us on trips outside of the US and won't even bother stepping foot on any Asian country. He thinks Asia is disgusting, has lots of typhoons (which is true), and has lots of tsunamis (which is also true) and it's dangerous (not always true). He says it in a way that Asia is the Earth's cesspit of a hellhole. When I asked him who gave him that idea, he said, "My mom" -- well, what can I expect? The mother is like a walking oxymoron! She despises anything that is Asian. The irony is, she is PURE Asian and SK is also PURE Asian. Geez.

He also always says he doesn't want to do things that we'd like to do, like going for a Las Vegas trip. He'd say, "I don't like Las Vegas, I'd be bored there... there's nothing in there" but he'd go anyway and end up complaining in the car for more than an hour. And, when we were finally in Las Vegas, he'd find himself bowled over by so many exciting things to do and end up enjoying himself all day. Then he'll rave about Las Vegas for weeks. But then, when we think of going somewhere else again, like when we went to Paris, he'd be negative again and say things like, "What's in Paris? I don't like it there.... why do we have to go there?" and he'd end up complaining the entire flight.

Seriously, this kid needs to just shut up and be grateful. If it were not for DH, I won't even bother to invite him somewhere.

Here's another thing: SK is a shopaholic, but not in a cute way. He is a hoarder of all kinds of toys that he likes. When he's with us, there's never a day where he doesn't buy anything. Of course he buys using my money! He likes expensive items, like more than $100-kind-of-toys especially Legos. He has all of them and he doesn't even play with most of them (I mean, how can he possible play with them, he's probably confused which one to play with first!) and wants more. He would spend the whole day on Ebay and bid on Lego sets as if he's the son of a billionaire. He doesn't even know what auction means and how it works! He doesn't usually ask me to buy him stuff but when I feel like he desperately wants it and it only costs less than $5, I'd buy it. But for more expensive items, he'd usually approach DH and when DH is about to give in, i'd give him a dagger look. That's when he'll back off.

I don't know. I think this kid needs to change. He can be a great kid minus the negativity and his whiny attitude. I already talked to him about this and he agreed on behaving but now, here he goes again.

As I am typing this, he has already submitted his bid on 26 Lego sets. He's using my Ebay account but I already told him that I'm not paying for any winning bids. If he likes, he can pay me first then i'll pay for his Legos

Comments

EmmaGirl's picture

Hi Dorothyparkerwannabe,

Thanks for the reply. Now your post made me think. Let's see:

1. Could he be clinically depressed? I guess he's too young to know what depression means. He's just in grade one yet he thinks he's older than that. I tell you, he thinks like a grown up.

(OK now he is complaining about BS sitting on the first step of the staircase. BS is not even bothering him, for goodness sakes!)

2. Is BM negative? Hmm I think this is funny because BM likes to think and likes to tell people that she's the perennial optimist but she's acting otherwise most of the time. For one, she likes to bitch about people around her: she sees every minutest fault about them. Example, she'd say, Eww look at that neighbor she's so fat... when she herself is fat.

So to answer your question, yes, the BM has a horrible personality.

3. I don't think he deliberately does it. I think it's inherent in him and it is imbibed in his whole being. He's plain whiny, period.

(Just now, he said, how come my socks don't match? I don't want to wear this coz the other one is longer. For goodness sakes no one's gonna look at his socks coz he's wearing long pants anyway! And no, they're not a total msmatch!)

I hope he'll give me a break once and for all.

Most Evil's picture

Sorry to say, he just sounds spoiled to me. I recognize the signs that are similar to my SD18. BM would never take her anywhere, and when SD was with us on a trip she raved about it and laughed and carried on having a great time, but then when she got home or any time she would talk to her mom, she would only complain about the arrangements, food, weather, etc.

I also think this is a sign of PAS, that the child is afraid to let the custodial parent think he enjoys traveling with you. So I would leave him at home, if he doesn't appreciate it and act like it! and he won't, until he is given a chance to miss it. It is a shame, but he is still a child I guess, so his maturity will hopefully come soon.
_________________________________________________________
Age cannot wither her, nor custom stale
Her infinite variety.

William Shakespeare, "Antony and Cleopatra", Act 2 scene 2