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So much resentment...

dsfsdjfn's picture

I am just venting here...I am a young stepmom to a 2 and a half year old boy...been with his dad a little over 2 years (draw your own conclusions) and have been married almost a month...I also inherited an annoying BM and an even worse MIL

Although SS and I get along fine, I am not sure what role I am supposed to play...I have always been there, but I don't think I consider myself a parent...Maybe because even if I am expected to fulfill parental responsabilities, I have no say, even though I am expected to pay for things...My husband (what is DH by the way? daddy husband?) is going to university and working, and so I have agreed to postpone doind my post-graduate degree so we can keep affording to live. So we are on a tight budget and all the extras are paid by me. She decided the kid needs to see a shrink and expects us to pay ...because he is upset...I am sorry, that kid does not look anything but happy to me...she went to see a specialist anyway and he told her to stop screaming and bringing strange men over that should help the kids behavior...and he needs to play sports, and needs private school and expensive daycare(but she does not work)...but she cant pay cuz shes on welfare, pretending to go to school

We pay what we are required to as child support(by court order which is a fair amount as her majesty BM does not work), but BM always complains she has no money, and can we give her more, can we buy this or that...now that we are married, she keeps asking for more...I dont want to deprive the kid, so I give in...but...it annoys me...I don't know...I'm resentful? Because I had to work hard to get an education and work and miss BM just had to get pregnant by 2 guys take all their money and sit on her behind not work and just fool around, and think it's not enough? I thank the Lord my man was never married to her...

And then MIL was on her side ..offering her a job(that she quit because hey! why work?) even after she strated harrassing us, always telling my hubby that he was not doing the right thing,refusing to attend our wedding, and now that we dont speak to her, she calls BM to see SS...Why is everything I do wrong even if I am trying my best and that no matter what I do BM is better than me even if she acts like a retard?????Why am I resentful to my man for having a useless baby mama and an even worse monster in law??? Ah! there! I said it! now I feel a little better...anyone else feel this way?

Comments

alwaysme's picture

dont give in, give her nothing it is not your problem, as for shrink private schools and sport go, the kid is 2 that is just ridiculous.

Her having no money is not anyone elses problem but her own, if she cant afford to look after then kid then you need to go to court to get full custody. You did not chose to have this child your husband and the sponging bitch did, you dont have to pay for anything, i sure as hell wouldnt.

Sorry in a bad mood today

Jeans222's picture

I don't know if our marriage could survive if husbands kids were that young... but I knew enough not to marry anyone with small kids, his were mid and early teens when we married.... we still had lots of problems with his ex and one of his kids, even now, after she is almost 20 !
You maybe could start looking into finding a good therapist now before things get bad so your ready and prepaired as its going to be a long time these people are in your life being the child is so young.
You are going to have to learn to not be manipulated by any of the people from your husbands past.

NotTheRealMom's picture

I felt the same way.... the BM told my BF that if he was going to stop child support the she was going to have to get a second job. What were you spending the C.S. on anyway??
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Any idiot can face a crisis - it's day to day living that wears you out.
Anton Chekhov

smnikki's picture

oh man........i could have written this word for word almost! i will pm you tomorow. sounds like you and i have a lot in common!

my mil just tried to help bm take away custody from dh and i (dh-darling husband) our bm doesnt work either, but dh doesnt make enought and we have 50/50....she lives of false claims to the govt.