Donkeykong weighs in on SS failing
So SS came home Sunday.
Did DW yell at him?
No.
Did DW give him a lecture?
Nope.
Did DW give him a pep talk?
Not even close.
The kid who failed 3 of the 3 core course this year gets a....
...
......
...
Wait for it...
...
......
...
Pulls curtain
A BIG HUG!!!
Cue the "oohs" and "ahhhhs" from the audience
Yes ladies and gentlemen, the patented DW BIG HUG comes with complementary smooches and a back rub. You'll love BIG HUG, because BIG HUG means you can do no wrong and you will never ever have to feel bad about any fuckup that you do.
A BIG HUG! It's what every entitled skid with an Oedipus Complex needs...
Cue audience clapping
Oh and what did Donkeykong do?
He tells SS "Summer school is not the end of the world."
He then tells DW in an email that since it is obvious the tutoring services are not working, he is no longer going to pay for his share of the tutoring services.
DW showed me the email on her phone. I read the email, hand the phone back and say "SS will not be able to pass summer school without some kind of professional help, and it's obvious your ex has no interest in helping him. I hate to tell you this love, but SS is on his own."
DW didn't ask, nor did she even hint at me helping bear the brunt of the tutoring cost. I would love to, but I think DW knows that if she wants my buy-in, things will have to be done my way and I already told her that I strongly believe SS should be made to live like cloistered monk for the summer, so DW doesn't want to go there.
So let's run the tally shall we?
That's $200 per course ($400)
Tutoring services at $25 an hour for 4 hours per week ($100/per week)
By the time this summer is over, DW will need to fork over approx $700 for a kid who's likelyhood of passing grade 8 is about as good as me enjoying a FIFA soccer game.
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Comments
They are so setting this kid
They are so setting this kid up to fail. I actually feel sorry for him because his parents are clueless. I have a BS the same age Draco and I ride him hard. He would love to slack off and do nothing but what kind of parent would I be if I allowed it and then gave him them impression that he's not responsible for his actions. What in the world is going on!
It really is upsetting
It really is upsetting because I cannot push SS any harder than the bioparents are willing to. I was speaking to my Mom and Dad the other day and my Mom said "It's a waste of money. Even if by some miracle he passes Grade 8, there is no way SS is going to make it through grade 9". My Dad, who used to ride me hard over getting good grades in my youth, said "I hope she doesn't plan on treating BS and BD this way! Then I will have something to say!"
Does it bother you that you
Does it bother you that you had more kids with her? She clearly has no clue and I would not let her parent my bio's. She really needs to take a parenting class to learn how to parent. She is really abusing that kid, by not having any expectations for him. I just don't know if I could sit by and watch that. Knowing how DH has let my SD get away with so much, I am grateful, I never had anymore with him.
>Does it bother you that you
>Does it bother you that you had more kids with her?<
Not at all! This morning I caught "Cooler King" trying to make himself his own breafast! He managed to climb up onto the kitchen counter and was getting himself a bowl. He had already taken out the milk and the cereal. This kid is 4 years old and is already capable of figuring stuff out for himself! Unlike his elder half-brother who still doesn't know where all the stuff is in our kitchen and only managed to learn how to butter toast two years ago.
Wow. That's what sgs12 is
Wow. That's what sgs12 is doing to get up to grade level. He's in Granny Ltman's summer school for the educationally neglected. Poor kid hasn't figured out that the less he bitches about doing the work, the less time he spends sitting in a hard ass chair.
That's actually really sad. I
That's actually really sad. I got nothing for you Draco.
>are his academic skills low
>are his academic skills low or he just isn't trying?<
A bit of both.
We had a learning assessment done about two months ago. In all the learning skill sets. Err, disciplines? (sorry I don't know what they are called), the best case scenario is he is 6 months behind. The worst case scenario (reading comprehension) is that he has the reading skills of a 12-year-old (2 years behind). So there are areas where SS honestly does need help, but lack of motivation and sheer laziness are definetly contributing factors.
I mentioned in my last blog that I have been keeping a study log of SS for the past two months. On average, a normal grade 8 student should be studying/doing homework about 1.5 hours per night. SS has an average study time of 20 minutes.
Besides the lack of parenting
Besides the lack of parenting for this kid, it sounds like he has a learning disability where the reading is concerned. Has he been tested for a processing disability? My BD has that. The teacher fought me on having her tested but I did and found out she did have a learning disability. She's now an adult with a master's degree in social work and doing really well. Just something to think about.
Isn't it weird that our
Isn't it weird that our seemingly sane spouses can turn into complete buffoons over the skids? Your DW reminds me SOOOO much of my DH when SS was that age. GAG!
At first I tried to offer opinions on how SS should be in school since he was failing so bad and my kids were almost straight A students. My opinion was not appreciated so that was another thing I disengaged from early on. Then I watched year after year as SS struggled and failed all semester long, just to pull out passing grades enough to barely pass at the very end.
The only time I got involved was in SS's senior year. And my only involvement then was to ride DH's butt to ride SS's butt to pass. He was REALLY on the verge of not graduating and I was not going to let the kid live with me for another year because he parents sucked.
Dh and I had an agreement that no kid could live with us after the age of 18 unless they were in school/college, full time and had a part time job. If SS would have failed he would have had to move out, but I know DH would probably not stick to that agreement. But maybe you can threaten your DW with something like that....?
>But maybe you can threaten
>But maybe you can threaten your DW with something like that....?<
I already have threatened her with that Willow. I may need to *repeat* it, but I believe was VERY clear when I told DW that should SS go the distance (want to go to college, military, trade school, etc) that I will support him. But if SS drops out of HS, then as soon as he turns 18, he gets a job and moves out. DW started with her wailing saying that if I ever do that (kick SS out) then she will leave me too. I said "Well then the onus is on you to make sure that doesn't happen".
Well when SS first heard the
Well when SS first heard the news that he had to go to summer school and was lamenting over it, DW did tell him; "look, you either go to summer school or you repeat the whole year (which means having to sit through math class again with that teacher he hates)". SS warmed up to the idea of summer school really fast.
But I just told SS and DW yesterday that I was done standing over SS to make sure he does what he is supposed to be doing. Yes, SS did *start* to buckle down in the last few weeks but as I said above, studying for an average of 20 minutes a night is now where near enough. So I am not going to do any monitoring, chasing or probing. If SS needs help, I am always available but I will NOT chase him to make sure he is doing what he is supposed to be doing...because the minute I feel I have to chase him, I KNOW he will not pass.
I say this as someone who had to bust my own tail to get the marks to get into the engineering program. For 6 months, all I did was study, study, and study some more... To this day, I still don't know how I managed, but I pulled it off.
*LOL* I'll give SS an airhead
I'll give SS an airhead vasetomy. I'll tell him to hold an empty beer can in one hand, light a firecracker and put it in the beer can and count to 10.
He'll hold the can in one hand and start counting:
"1, 2, 3, 4, 5."
He'll then place the beer can between his legs so he can continue counting to 10 with the fingers of his other hand...
LMFAO! The bio dads of a lot
LMFAO! The bio dads of a lot of these skids (yes, ladies, that means our very own DHs) would have been better off doing just that.
LMAO!
LMAO! }:)
Based on what I have seen,
Based on what I have seen, when a parent and child are so emotionally enmeshed (co-dependant) the child does not see a need to venture out on his own let alone seek a mate.
Take my aunty Jo and her son. Aunty Jo lost her husband to cancer and so she latched onto her youngest son (who is a year older than me) for companionship. This was 30 years ago. The son still has not moved out of the house. He has lost his driver's license due to too many traffic violations. He doesn't hold down a job for more than 6 months. The "boy" is now 45 years old and his mother still calls him "My Baby" and "My Darling".
Oh and the best part, he trashed 3 computers due to his on-line activities (I'll let your imagination figure out what he was doing).
Heh! My family is close but I
Heh! My family is close but I told DW to never ever EVER tell my parents that I am sick. If I take the day off work my Dad calls, then my Mom calls, then my Dad calls again, then my Dad passes by to see if I need anything ("Are you sure you don't want me to drive you to the doctor's?". They're very sweet and all but really, I don't need to be babied. Just give some Tylenol and a dark room and leave me be.
So will your DW pay for the
So will your DW pay for the summer school and tutor herself? If it were my son he would be repeating 8th grade and 9th grade too if he didn't pass then. I would not pay a dime for a kid to repeat what he should have been doing in school the first time around and was too lazy to do it right. Perhaps when the kid is 3 years older than his peers in that class, maybe he will get serious.
Yes, it looks like DW will be
Yes, it looks like DW will be paying for both summer school and tutoring. I don't know how she is going to pull that off especially since her employer reduced her hours.