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Party Crasher

Dogmom1321's picture

Submitted by Dogmom1321 on Sat, 04/02/2022 - 11:09am

Our DS is turning one next weekend! DH and I are having family in town and some neighbors over. We got some party supplies already and some snacks/food. It's all organized downstairs in the basement. 
 

SD12 have a friend over yesterday after school. DH said it was fine for her to come over. Found out this morning that they opened and used a whole bag of balloons that were meant for the party. Ugh, seriously? 
 

I didn't confront SD, just when to DH. He said the girls were hanging out in the basement... but didn't know anything about the party supplies so he would ask her. 
 

DH: Hey, did you take the balloons from downstairs. 
SD: Yeah 

DH: why did you take something that's not yours without even asking?

SD: Idk

DH: those were for DS birthday party.

SD: well sorry. 

*eyeroll* DH said he was going out to buy more and wanted to know how much and where from. 
 

I told him it was more of the principle. That it bothered me more she was taking stuff without asking... when it was obviously not hers. Just inconsiderate and rude. He agreed with me though! 
 

**question** SD12 is supposed to be at BMs the day of the party. We have family in town and I'm sure DH wants his parents to see SD. They live 4 hours away. DH hasn't mentioned anything to me about switching wknds with BM. Is it bad of me to just hope she doesn't come? I don't want to deal with the drama and a whole day of hearing the "it's not fair" mantra. Do I bring it up to DH or just wait and see if he says anything?
 

 

Comments

CLove's picture

Submitted by CLove on Sat, 04/02/2022 - 12:18pm

you have a blog up about Sd stealing so its really no surprise that she feels ok taking what she wants without asking. It seems like kids always feel like "mom and dads things are like my things and are fair game to take and use".

I always hated that, starting way back 8 plus years ago, and battled it. Feral Forger, she still acts that way at her mothers apartment with the stuff there. But it seems she gets mad if her things are touched at all...I see a Feral Forger in your future.

Harry's picture

Submitted by Harry on Sat, 04/02/2022 - 12:58pm

SD will NOT upset the party.  If she start with her nonsense, DH must take her to a vacant spot and read her the riot act.  Or take home to BM.   And that will be the last party in the near future.  Why don't GP  see SD more,  why does this all fall on DS party 

Dogmom1321's picture

Submitted by Dogmom1321 on Sat, 04/02/2022 - 1:58pm

DHs parents are absent grandparents. They are the kind that visit 2-3 times a year and complain "wish we could see the grandkids more". DH acknowledges their BS. But he's also a people pleaser (to a fault). 
 

It's a checkmark on their busy "to do" list that they saw all the grandkids while they were in town. They live four hours away (which they use as an excuse) but they are *retired*. They literally have nothing else to do! Personally I think they just like to blame DH for not seeing the grandkids more... rather than just being accountable grandparents 

hereiam's picture

Submitted by hereiam on Sat, 04/02/2022 - 1:07pm

Do I bring it up to DH or just wait and see if he says anything?

This depends, as you know your DH best. If you don't bring it up and the thinks of it last minute, will he be running around last minute trying to make it happen, causing you more angst?

As far as the drama of "it's not fair", your DH needs to reinforce to her that life is not always about her and teach her how to be gracious when the day or event is about someone else.

I agree with you about the balloons, it's the principle of it, she needs to learn to stay out of things that aren't hers and to ask. I mean, all kids do that sort of thing, but it's time for her to start learning to be more conscious of these things.

simifan's picture

Submitted by simifan on Sun, 04/03/2022 - 1:40pm

It is not the principle. DH & SD should immediately go replace them & SD should have to work off the money to pay for it. Do not let it slide. DH needs to be inconvenienced to make it stick.

Whether SD comes or not is DH's problem. Let him handle it. 

 

Cover1W's picture

Submitted by Cover1W on Mon, 04/04/2022 - 9:36am

Exactly what I thought.

After YSD broke a kitchen drawer and neither SD would admit it (they never ever admit to wrongdoing to this day).  I told DH that BOTH of them needed to go with him to the hardware store with THEIR money and then help repair the drawer...never happened. Then one of them broke the pantry door. I simply removed it and chucked it down the stairs because I knew DH would do nothing. Same with YSDs closet door which I had JUST reinstalled along with all the others.

YSD recently broke the plate cover on her room light switch by messing around. Told DH it needs to be fixed, taker her with you and get a new one and have her replace it. Nada. It's now scotch taped together.

No ramifications they will do it again and again.

dragonfly878's picture

Submitted by dragonfly878 on Sun, 04/03/2022 - 6:29pm

I feel for you. Each year I intentionally plan DD's birthday on a weekend that we have SS so that we don't need to take him for an extra weekend. We have a rule with BM that we don't flip flop... you want him extra? Just ask! It goes both ways and neither of us give the other a hard time- but there is no flip flopping as we like to plan in advance and im not playing BMs games...
 

I make a point to schedule when he's with us 1. So I don't have to argue with DH and 2. So that he can see that the world in fact does NOT revolve around him. MIL always makes DD's cake... last year SS INSISTED she make him a special cake, too. I shut that down quick- ITS HER BIRTHDAY and there's 12 years in between them. He's the kind of person who can't be happy for anyone else. 
 

Make it all about your kiddo on their birthday. SD will have to learn to deal...