Our relationship with BM has generally been LC. There have been some occassions where she doesn't think before she speaks and it rubs me the wrong way, but in general, I know she appreciates what I do for her daughter. Custody arrangements between FH and BM have always been easy, because as much as her and FH didn't work together, she sees the value in him continuing his relationship with his daughter. So his changed work schedule involves an easy flip of their custody arrangement. Life is generally easy dealing with BM.

But there are exceptions that sometimes give me pause. 

FSD11 is with us this week. We generally only have her EOWE, but because of the winter holidays we have her longer. The other day FSD said to me, "I wonder what it would be like to live you and daddy all the time." I said it would probably be similar to her being here on the weekends, but all the time.

FSD: Mommy would never let it happen though.
ME: Oh, I know. Your mom loves you very much and would have a hard time letting you go.
FSD: Even if something happened to mommy, I couldn't come live here.
ME: Oh? Where would you go?
FSD: Mommy wants stepdad to adopt me. So if something happens to her, I'll stay with him and half-sister.
ME: I don't think that would ever happen.

And then I let it drop. But it's upsetting that BM is talking about these types of things within earshot of FSD. My guess is she said it to her husband and not to FSD, but that's upsetting. FH would never relinquish his parental rights of his daughter. And truly, BM wouldn't want him to because then the child support would stop. FH didn't seem to care when I told him. He says she would frequently lay in bed and cry about stuff similar when they were married and FSD probably overheard that. 

But what a confusing thing for FSD to hear. And what an awful thing to put in her mind.