graduation gift

i was going to take ss18 shopping for stuff he'd need for his college dorm as a graduation gift....well he has decided to stay at BM's house instead of living on campus.
i feel so disappointed in skid for not branching out in the world adn getting out from under bm. i'm really torn now - i dont want to get him anything because i dont think he'd be smart with cash, DH is planning on buying his books. he really wont have any more expenses than that.....
is it wrong to not give the kid anything major if at all???

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skids just went shopping with

skids just went shopping with DH and his parents and each kid was given $200 - ss18 blew it on LEGOS....he has a desktop at our house as well as BM's. he just bought his parking pass when he registered for classes. i've thought about putting some money towards his account so he can get snacks and stuff - but in him talking to DH he thinks their snack shop is retarded....yea we'll see what he thinks as he's spending his free time waiting for classes either there or in the library.
ss18 is such an introvert - DH and i were both hoping for him to live on campus and interact with other students. i imagine him being holed up in his room playing with his legos til he's into his 30s because he didnt learn social skills!!!
i'll probably end up getting him a giftcard to the student shop so he can get a snack or tshirt of the school.

i feel so disappointed in

i feel so disappointed in skid for not branching out in the world adn getting out from under bm.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
HMMM. how old is skid? If he is only 18, then I see no reason to be disappointed. It is SOOOO much cheaper. Now, if he is 25, then yea, he needs to branch out in the world.

I got my kids a lap top for graduation.

thank you! i agree it would

thank you!
i agree it would be cheaper for the skid to live at home with his mother - but he can get loans adn you can deduct the interest paid on your taxes.
i believe letting him live at home is the doorway for him thinking he can live there forever. DH has made it perfectly clear to skid that he is not allowed back at home after college for periods longer than a weekend or school scheduled break. DH has worked his ass off to get the best for these skids and i think he's finally seeing them for what they are - spoiled little brats that only come around when they want money.

i moved out to go to college

i moved out to go to college and haven't returned. i have made some really good relationships through being on campus - granted i didnt have much of a choice - home was 3 hours away. my sister went to the local college adn chose to live with her boyfriend and thought she missed on so much and always felt like an outsider. she never gained the network of friends and quit after a year. in high school she was a very outgoing person and in all sports, so it's not like making friends was hard for her. for ss18, it is a completely different story. he is NOT outgoing, not in any sports, i've known him to have 2 girlfriends. i/m afraid that he'll have the same time as my sister and have the same ending.

I graduated a semester early

I graduated a semester early from high school and went straight to college four hours away and lived in a dorm. I highly recommend the FULL college experience and I think living on campus is included in that. But that's only if it's affordable for the family.

I think student loans are a tremendous burden to put on a kid. I would never, never, never advocate burdening a child with debt before they even get started. That debt will limit his options more than where his lives. I could see debt as being more of a reason for a "failure to launch" than not living on campus and keep him living with a parent til he's 30 or older. IMO anyways.