OT I have my own crazy BM

I figured out, at the age of 27, who and what my own BM really is. It really was like that cheesy lightbulb moment that you see in cartoons. So, for the most part, I don't expect much and don't let her hurt me. For the most part.

Perhaps it's something with living so far away in another country. Sometimes, just once in a great while, I long to have a "normal" BM. Ya know, once who calls me once a week, acts like she's interested in her own daughter, sends a birthday card that isn't 15 days late.

Just really simple things. I view them as simple anyway. I live long distance from my own BS17. Never in all my days could I go 6+ months without talking to him. Never could I send him a FB Messenger message saying "I was going to call you on Christmas but oops JUST realized it's too late now. Darn time zones, so sorry but how was your Christmas?" Yes, my BM did exactly that. Or be like BM2, who only talks to SS15 5 minutes or less per week.

Crazy BM's. I have one of my own and I deal with SS's. It's just something I don't understand. I do understand how the skids we deal with keep hoping for a miracle, though. Heck, I am 42 years old now. I still have this small grain of fantasy lodged in the depths of my very practical brain. I am a very common sense person. It's still there though...a "normal" BM.

It sure has shaped me into the type of parent that I am today. The positive is that I've learned a whole lot about how NOT to be as a parent and as a person. I'm happy today. My own little family is wonderful. I have a great relationship with my BS17, who is growing up to be a good person.

Who else has a crazy BM that you wish would be different? Even if it was just for one day? Spill the beans ladies (and gents). Let it all out and then be sure to have a very happy new year. With a lot of love, laughter and maybe even a few adult drinks to get you through

NOTE: Even though it's Sunday I do have to work today. So don't be discouraged if I don't respond until later. I'll be checking in as often as I can until I get home. xx

Cooooookies's blog
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Comments

I think your feelings are

I think your feelings are perfectly normal. All kids (evil skids included) want normal mothers.
I guess we should remember that when dealing with skids who have crazy BMs who they keep giving second, third, fourth chances to.

My BFF came for a couple of hours on Christmas Day. I opened a gift from my Mom, it was a silly snowman outfit for a toilet. We had a good laugh about how my mom over decorates for Christmas and how she’s trying to suck me into her obsession.

My BFF said how much she missed having a mom to buy silly gifts.

Times like Christmas remind us of what and who we’re missing.

Yes the expectations of a

Yes the expectations of a magical Christmas. DH made it wonderful but it does highlight the horrific dysfunction within your own family.

My mother sent me a Christmas card, sure, but it was late. It also was just one of those cards that come in a box of 15 or 20 generic all the same cards. No thought in it, no effort.

Ahh well.

I get you completely

I get you completely Coookies, my mother seems so much like our BM and I have come to realise that she is a narc too. It's all about her, she has no empathy etc. She chose to cause trouble with an accusation that had no grounding at all on my birthday. Its like 'you shouldnt do xxx (made up)' oh and 'happy birthday'.

Just had two nights there for christmas. Only went there because then I see my oldest son too who lives closeby but does not have enough room for us to lodge there as we had SS18 with us. It was quite an ordeal, which I hate to say as they are old but honestly... her bad points and obsessions and nastiness have just got worse with age instead of getting milder.

I still have this secret wish in my heart that she could have been the mother I wanted, like other peoples mothers and I suppose it will be there until I die but instead I have her.

Thanks for that article notsobad xx

OT I have my own crazy BM