I don't really have any advice but I am very sorry to hear about your situation. Maybe you should tell DH he has to take care of the baby one night and you get some alone time or hang out w some girl friends. Hopefully this will give him a taste of how difficult it is to be cooped up w kids all day and understand you a little better. Good luck and keep us posted!

I'm so sorry you are going through this. BUT Congratulations on your baby boy!!!

I've heard other women say that their husbands arent' that interested in a baby. However, all this video game stuff is telling me he is trying to escape from something. My SO plays, but usually just for a little bit to wind down then he goes back to joining the world.

I wish I had some advice. This wasn't helpful at all to you.

I'm not sure if this helps, but a lot of guys I know are very uncomfortable with newborns. they feel as if they will break the child if they hold it. Older kids are easier bc they can take care of themselves and are not breakable. Although he might be trying to give you and your new son space. He might be worried that his biokids (your steps) will feel left out and start acting up. By giving them the extra attention he might think that he is helping. Id sit down and explain your feelings. Men are funny, they think they are hlping and have no clue how much damage they can do.
Hope this helps. Congrats!!!

Congrats on the birth of your baby boy!!! I know how perfect they are; Mine will be 6 weeks old on Tuesday and is still my perfect little angel!

I'm sorry about what you're going through. My DH is a bit of a jerk and has called our son a mistake while throwing a temper tantrum, but I don't know which is worse; what my DH does or your DH not being around.

My SD will be 20 this week, so luckily she's not around at all. Luckily DH is; he took 2 weeks off from work when our son was born, and while he really didn't help me AT ALL, it was nice not being alone with the baby in the beginning.

If it's any consolation, being married to a man who "has done it all already" and "this baby is completely for you; you will have to take care of it yourself", I don't feel like I have my husband much either. I'm tied to the baby, so I rarely get to sleep in bed with him, and dinner for the first few weeks was usually interrupted or delayed by feeding the baby and DH wouldn't wait for me.

Hopefully your DH will relax soon and be around more as time goes on.

Best of luck!

You are not obligated to watch his daughter. What would he do with her if you weren't in the picture? He would have to put her in day care. He is the one obligated to take are of her. Not you. I would flip if my husband told me I was obligated to take care of his product of not knowing that condoms exist. And if the day ever comes that he thinks I am obligated to do so, he will be paying me child support as well as his ex.

You poor thing -- on top of all this you have raging hormones and emotions. I totally understand. You absolutely HAVE to talk to him about this and say everything you said to us. It's the only chance of it getting better.

When I had my baby boy (11 weeks ago!) I shared a lot of your feelings, and we didn't even have the skids all the time. If I were forced -- yes you are being forced -- to watch SD all day long like you are, just because you're home with your own child, I'd be VERY resentful.

I remember also that just after a week or so I was getting major cabin-fever. When you can't get out and about it does take its toll on you, especially if you are seeing your DH have his own freedom and come and go as he pleases. I felt SUPER guilty at the time, but I asked FDH if I could go out for happy hour with my friends one night. I was so excited to get back home but I truly needed that time away and for myself for my own sanity. You need to find a way to do something like this, too. It does not mean you are a bad mother if you want 2 hours to yourself!

Also, I remember that first month or 2 feeling like FDH and I didn't even have a relationship anymore. It was almost like it just disappeared...nothing bad happened, it just wasn't really THERE. Especially he was overcompensating to try to make the skids not feel bad about him giving attention to our little one. So I was the ONLY one rocking, feeding, bathing, changing, etc our little one while he got to be fun dad and play with skids. Resentment again. Lots of resentment can happen during these first months but you have to be open and honest with him otherwise -- because he's a GUY -- he'll never know the difference, just that you're upset but not understand why.

I am happy to report that in the past 2 weeks, FDH and I feel connected once again...so it DOES happen. I think once you get used to your "new" life and adjust to everything, get in more of a predictable schedule with the little one, and feel like you are a real person again, it all starts coming together.

Please please please also be on the lookout for signs of depression/hopelessness and talk to your doctor. It does not mean that you are weak at all. And something like that might be an eye-opener for your DH, also. I know it was for mine. One day I finally told FDH that "I think I'm dealing with some PPD..." and he was in shock, like wha??? I discussed everything with him and it was like suddenly it all turned around and he was more helpful and concerned. I talked with my doctor and she offered a subscription but I told her I wanted to wait it out a week or so to see what happened and how I felt (I wasn't sure if it was true PPD or if I was just sad seeing family come and go, etc) then I started feeling better soon.

Hope that helps a little...atleast some encouragement. Oh, and Congratulations!!