Update - Speedy Gonzales
Dr confirmed what I thought I knew - it is NOT cancer and NOT a stroke and NOT a brain bleed.
When I described the symptoms, he said if it happens again, go immediately to the ER.
But - he told me its likely a severe Tension Headache. Ive succesfuly applied heat, and massage and gradually the pain has receeded to a dull ache today. Ive stayed quiet and away from Husband as much as I can. Right now everyone is on Best Behavior Mode. Powersulk and husband do what I need them to without my having to ask. Husband set me up with his big heat and neck massage tool, and rubbed CBD cream on my neck and shoulders.
I am looking around for massage thereapists that work with trauma. Im signed up for online therapy. I have been reaching out to friends, strengthening my bonds with my tribe. My family knows all this is going on, so if I need ER they know what is happening/happened.
Resting and massage and heat sounds pretty great right now! Drs orders 
Also, meditation, yoga, breath work. whooooo. Thanks everyone, you are helping me through some really painful times here. Hopefully Ill make it through to the other side quickly and without too much pain.
- CLove's blog
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Comments
Glad to hear it is nothing
Glad to hear it is nothing chronic. Except a chronic case of Skid ass sniffing dumbass DH.
What is your exit plan CLove?
Feel better soon.
Disengagement
My plan is complete disengagment. Healing. Strengthening. Planning. What I tell everyone else they need to do, get thee to a lawyer. Get my ducks in a row.
Meanwhile AVOID anything that will break my peace of mind and hurt me emotionally, spiritually, phsychologically.
Im exploring EMDR and hypnosis. Ways to break the cycle of abuse. Break the co dependency.
Extract myself in a safe and sane way. Have excitement in thinking about a future without the extreme dysfunction.
You have warmed my heart.
You have warmed my heart. Thank you for engaging in taking care of you.
Now... map the plan, work the plan, and update tose you consult with on it so you can be accountable to yourself to follow through. Nothing changes if you do not take direct conclusive action.
Just what works for me CLove.
((((Hugs))))
Clove
Keep visioning a peaceful life. No toxic drama where you are always deemed the bad guy.
You deserve the best life ever .
Blessings
Something that really helps
Something that really helps me a lot is exercise and being outside in nature. I like to garden and hike. Exercise is a natural and inexpensive mental health booster. If there is something you enjoy doing outside then go do it! Take a walk, go to the beach, swim, bike, and so forth.
I wish you health and wellness.
Hiking and Garden
Now that my cold bug is done with and the tension headache has receeded, Im busting out my merrills for a hike to scope some wildflowers. Its a half day at work. Ive had plenty of rest.
My current hobbies have been:
Hiking
Netflixing
Social Media-ing
Hanging out in the garage with husband
My new hobbies will be:
Hiking
Running
Biking
Kayaking
Fishing
Gardening
Vibing with my tribe
Yeah @CLove def take it easy.
Yeah @CLove def take it easy...but don't put those rose colored glasses on with powersulk and DH just yet.
No!
Throw those damn things away!
Good you're feeling better.
Good you're feeling better. Keep some aspirin in your purse just in case.
Action is the Magic Word
CLove, encourage you to make those phone calls and/or reach out online to divorce attorneys. Take action one step at a time towards freedom from this cycle of abuse - don't let the momentary good behavior dupe you.
Here's a graphic that shows your life with your toxic husband & skid:
https://images.app.goo.gl/1NUymBxLCR5xHfdj8
YES.
Its a merry-go-round of sickness and I am desperate to get off the carnival ride. It wont change and it wont get better.
Take it easy. Lower the pressure.
You know you have to get away from the circus. It's killing your, I really don't have answers. It's hard. Best of luck