So - firstly:

Thanks to all for your comments and support. It really helped me to be able to have clarity.

Secondly - for whatever reason, and I think I know what it is, but for whatever reason DH has been falling over himself to please me.

Thirdly, SD13 has also been falling over herself to please me.

Im like "aha all it takes is for cLove to get absolutely p!ssed off, go silent but deadly with this anger, and everyone will FINALLY give her the appreciation and consideration that she has been needing all this time!"

DH told me yesterday after work that Munchkin was beside herself and "practically in tears" because for some odd reason cLove was upset with her...and she didnt know why. Dh told her "well thats between you and her and you need to talk to her."

Which she never did, but she DID hug me as she was getting ready to take her things to the new place, and she DID send me a REALLY nice message this morning telling me about times for her concert and that she hopes I have a really wonderful day.

How to bring up discussion? She is now "doing her time" with Toxic Troll BM and Feral Forger SD20, in the new apartment (hmmmm Ive read that falsifying income is grounds for eviction....said in the voice of the Grinch...)

I figured out the root of my frustration and anger. It started with my frustration of her being lazy and never helping me out, when I give and help and buy and do for her. Then it moved into me getting attached and "poof! times up" and she toddles off to momma. Finally it grew into anger and frustration that I cannot talk about and express my anger and frustration, because it leads to me being treated like I am this mean, horrible step-monster and poor little snowflake will cry her big tears, and then daddeeee will get angry with me because I hurt preshus snowflake, and momeeee will send her nasty ho-bag trashy texts full of hate and tell dadeee that he will LOSE Munchkin just like he LOST feral forger. All because of mean horrible abusive cLove.

I get MAD just thinking about the past dynamics reaching its ugly arm into my present and future..