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The Darkness

Cindy's picture

Ok so I've decided to borrow Little Jo's name for BM. My husband and I used to call her the she-Devil between ourselves but The Darkness }:)somehow fits better since she is like one big fat frickin' dark cloud hanging over our every thought and action. I've had 2 really crap days with my SD who at 14 thinks she can do whatever the heck she pleases and after several discussions on topics such as schoolwork, attitude towards me, her dad, her brother SS9 and just about everyone around her (with the exception of her mother of course)she yells in my face "YOU ARE NOT MY FREAKIN MOTHER" Oh sweetheart you know I am not your mother for if I were you would not dare speak to me like that. So anyway after talking some more (because essentially what else can a stepparent do) I felt we drew a line from which to move forward. Then this morning I hear from my SS how he, SD and BM all refer to me as The Witch when at her house. I had heard this term a while ago from them but put it down to BM's insecurity and hoped that it would pass when she realised that I cared about her children and hoped to add a little value to their time at dad's whilst all the while never trying to replace her. I, like most of you, never bad mouth her, keep her in our conversations so they know I respect her as their monster, I'm sorry, did I say monster - of couse I mean mother. Well when I heard that some 2 years later she still refers to me this way it has really pissed me off because I can't quite understand where someone gets the nerve to call another person that when that person is taking great care of her kids in her absence. The kicker was that in the moment my anally retentive DH said absolutely nothing to my SS as if accepting this term is my fate. I guess my point to all this mindless venting is that I probably stand a real chance of making a valuable difference in these kids sad little lives but with The Darkness always filling their minds with negativity nobody wins, not the kids, not her and certainly not DH and I. Thanks for listening guys, vent over, on with the rest of my day.

Comments

Little Jo's picture

I'm sorry to hear what you are going through. And yes, that's why we came up with the name. because she brings darkness to our otherwise happy lives.

Glad you where able to vent.
Best wishes. Jo

septembers_child's picture

I am sorry to hear about your ordeal with their biological monster..Opps I mean mother. I personally just perfer to call step daughters bio egg donar "The B.M." (As in bowel movement) it fits so well because that's exactly what she is in my opinion!

I have never had to deal with the BM, but the down side to that is that I have the step kid 24/7/365 under my roof. It must be aweful to go through this. I wish you the best.

glynne's picture

HA!! We had a file in our home labelled the X Files (remember the show) that had docs on BM's behavior. We celebrated when SD turned 18 and burnt the file!!
Glynne

Anne 8102's picture

She's just mad 'cause someone dropped a house on her sister. Think of yourself as the Good Witch of the North and know that she's just jealous because you get to wear the ruby slippers while she's hanging out with a bunch of ugly flying monkeys.

~ Anne ~

Ladies and gentlemen, take my advice: Pull down your pants and slide on the ice! -M*A*S*H (Sidney Freedman to the OR staff on dealing with stress)

Cruella's picture

OMG I have to remember that one!!!!

loonybonusmom's picture

lol, lol, lol,
I LOVE IT ANNE!!

way toooo funny

Anne 8102's picture

I do try! Wink

~ Anne ~

Ladies and gentlemen, take my advice: Pull down your pants and slide on the ice! -M*A*S*H (Sidney Freedman to the OR staff on dealing with stress)

Daddysgirl's picture

That is what we have as the ring tone when she calls. BOM BOM BOM BOOOOOMMMMMMM... that is how I feel every time she calls, like- what's next???? Maybe we should switch it to the music that plays when the wicked witch is riding the bicycle...

I would love to hear the names I am called... I did have the chance to see her cell phone once (I took her to the hospital and I went to call her mom from her phone, she was passed out) and saw that my number is listed as THE BITCH. So I can only hope that she does not call me that to my 3 YR OLD SS. Yeah, I am "The Bitch" That took your dumb ass to the hospital when you got sick and passed out after your abortion... so responsible this one!

Little Jo's picture

Anne, good one. I like it. "ugly flying monkeys."
And Daddysgirl, also great. The ring tone. We gotta get one of those.

But I will say when we hear her ring, alot of times we look at each other and do the Darth Vader breathing. " Luke I am your Father." LOL. I'm cracking myself up.

You know what, it's just a matter of finding some humor in our situations.

Cindy's picture

You all crack me up. I love each and every post. OK, since we have moved on from name calling to ring tones - here is mine - my friend actually found it for me - it's the Psycho ringtone. No matter where I am and I hear it ring I get a kick out of it each and every time. Obviously I save it for the times we don't have the kids altho after today I wonder....... My DH did talk to her briefly today because my SS's teacher called me, go figure!!!! to tell me that he had stolen a toy from one of the other kids at school yesterday. DH told BM about the stealing, my SD's bad grades (which she knew nothing about) and addressed the name calling. She was supposed to call me at 1.00 to discuss the way forward, I thought - yeah BS, then she calls him and says she'll call me after 4, again I thought BS. So here The Witch sits at 11.07 pm still waiting for her call. I can only imagine what conversations took place with her and skids tonight. We don't get them again until Friday. Hocus Pocus, toil and trouble!!!! I'm so glad today I burst your bubble!!!!!!!!!

Bonus Wife's picture

I wanted to take my hubbys phone and program something so that he can be reminded when she calls him to "NIP IT IN THE BUD" and not let her talk forever...but something the kids wouldn't be able to decipher. Any Suggestions? I'm thinking of getting my pruners, and cutting a flower and using that..or maybe taking a photo of someone cutting the apron strings (he needs to do that also..although he's getting better.) Oh how we entertain ourselves....these thoughts are what keeps me sane.

Anne 8102's picture

Do you remember the Andy Griffith Show... Barney Fife, Mayberry, Opie? Barney used to say NIP IT IN THE BUD a lot. I used to have a WAV file on my old PC with that on it and it would go off as an alarm whenever I had to go to my weekly status meeting at work. (Back in my working days.) I wonder if that's still out there somewhere as a ringtone or if you can find a file that you could convert to a ringtone. Just the way Barney said it... it was hilarious!

My hubby had his cell phone programmed to play this siren, like the man overboard alarm on a ship, whenever his ex called. Now it's just set to one beep, but she never calls anymore, thank God.

~ Anne ~

Ladies and gentlemen, take my advice: Pull down your pants and slide on the ice! -M*A*S*H (Sidney Freedman to the OR staff on dealing with stress)

Lise's picture

You lot are great for making others smile!!
We have BM listed on our phones as `Bitch` and have a great tone for when she texts or calls...... Hans Solo saying "I have a bad feeling about this"
She never calls or texts when SS is with us (yet)so it doesn`t upset him.
It suits BM perfectly.

Daddysgirl's picture

That is GREAT. My EX... back when we didn't get along so well... used to have "you dropped a bomb on me, baby" play when I would call... He said that everytime I called he felt like a bomb was about to be dropped. We grew out of that stage and get along well enough to raise our kids together now. But I would love the be a fly on the wall at BM house, if even for a day. I would probably learn a lot about my SS and his behavour if I could just do that.

Little Jo's picture

Boy, I never thought to take it to the next levels of fun. Ring tone and RING PICTURES! What a pisser. All these funny thoughs are going through my head.
And yes, I do understand the worry of getting caught. It happened once already. Who said SD9 is stupid. She asked to call her Mother, (BF & I both have black razors), she grabbed a phone found the number and told her mother it was under X. (this was before the divorce) Needless to say, she didn't take that very well.

But, my word, I have got to tell BF about this tonight. We will have a blast thinking up songs and pictures.