I'll stick to talking about this recent situation making me "loose it" because telling my whole stroy would take much more time than I actually have to spare for the day...o.k. Global portrait: Boyfriend and I have been together 4 years now. We are very stable, never change the routine with kids, respect BM's time with the kids etc...I have to tell you a bit about BM so that you can understand were we are coming from.
BM is a piece of work ! I can't begin to express how I feel about her and explain everything she has done (or not done) ever since my BF and her got divorced. In 4 years, she has moved 4 times, went through about 15 different jobs (never holds one more than 2 months), has dropped off the kids to us unannounced and said " i just can't do it, bla bla ", been on social assistance, repeatedly harrased us in many and all forms (that will have to be another blog!) is mentally and every other way unstable.
Until recently, we had shared custody; one week her one week us. But...
For almost a year now, SD11 does not want to go to her mom's house anymore for visitations and is seeing a child psychologist to help her/us cope with the issues underneath this reaction of hers. So SD has been living full time with us since last november and it's not been easy with her or with BM. SD says she does not feel secure with her BM, that she always talks about her adult problems, cries all the time, is very disorganized, is often depressed and SD is afraid her mom will commit suicide. She also says that BM is always talking bad about me and my boyfriend and that hurts her alot cause she loves us all and doesn't need to hear shit like that all the time.
Anyways, it goes on and on, I can understand why SD does not want to be around her anymore.
SS6 on the other side, kept on going to BM's once every other week until recently....
Why has this changed? Because BM decided to move 2.5 hrs away with her new boyfriend to "go bak to school and move on" So now, SS6 is living with us full time too. When she told my BF that she wanted to move away, we didn't take it too seriously and figured she would probably change her mind back and forth and end up not going through with it. She always has this kind of behavior regarding many different aspects of her life. Example: I can't tell you how many times she has said she didn't want shared custody anymore because it was too hard or she wasn't "feeling" well, she was depressed, lost, angry, broke (even though we pay CS to her all this time and pay for all expenses for the kids; school, dentist, etc etc) Basically, she is a basket case most of the time (I suspect she is broderline personnality or bi-polar) and has damaged her relationship with her daughter and son by playing the yo-yo game with them, imposing her moods on everybody and not providing anything stable whatsoever for her 2 kids.
So now she has moved and we have full custody of both kids. The arrangement is that she can have SS once every other weekend and SD when and if she wants to go along (has not happened yet).
So two weeks ago, she decides she wants to have her son 3 weekends a month instead of two because she misses him and feels she is not spending enough time with him. WHAT??? Did she not think about this BEFORE moving away and giving up custody ? Did she not realize that she would only see her son 5 days a month instead of 14 ??? Does she not see that you can't just yo-yo your kids in and out of a routine like that without it disturbing their stability and security? WE are so desperatly trying to provide both kids with stability and she ALWAYS screws it up or tries to anyways.
Now she has filed court papers to try and get that third weekend (which means we loose one weekend with son to accomodate her needs and wants! ) And we are already in court with her for a bunch of other things and have been many times in the past 4 years.
I just want to explode!! Is it just me or that is just wrong !!?? So we only get to have one weekend a month with son because MADAME chose to move away and dump everything on us again?
I don't know, I just wanna pop her head, my stress level is so high I just wanna explode ! Now we are schedules for court in october for this issue and I have to testify and the whole shabang.
How the hell could I feel any other way?
Any advice?
Thanks for reading me,
Chaoticsteplife