Can't wait for SS to go to his mom this weekend
To be fair, other than the "regular arguing" about his hw everyday this week, he has otherwise been good (or at least tried). I have been a witch for about as long as a week though. By being a witch, I meant that I have not really been smiling or being extra nice and all that kind of stuff. Basically I only talk business. Not that I enjoyed being a witch, it just seems to work better to keep the schedule and task in line than being the "nice lady."
Sometimes I feel like I am the only person that never missed the boy when he's gone to his mom (it's only such a short period each time. I could barely catch my breath and he would be back already). Both my DH and DD had say things of missing the boy while he's gone, and I can only respond with silence. I don't like to lie. I can't say I have ever missed him.
I guess this is the difference between bio mom (not my SS's mom tho) and step mom. I can't say enough how much I admire those bio parents who become advocates for their autistic kids. I have tried that route, too. But it is like trying to find the treasure that did not exist in the first place. I only feel empty and fake at the end. I never feel the joy or proud of doing it. (I still do things that I believe is good for the boy, I just never enjoy it.) I also tried to explain his behavior with alternative possibilities, which I have become quite good at, it still doesn't change the fact that he annoys the f- out of me, whether he intends or not.
I know it's too far away of the future I am talking about...I really wish the boy can launch when he grows up...
Sorry if this sounds sad, especially on a V day haha. I have been quite depressed for a while now.
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Ive never missed my skids but
Ive never missed my skids but theyve never been gone long enough to be missed. BM rarely takes them more than 36 hrs. Sometimes we get 48 and when GBM passed awat we had 48 hrs during the week and 48 hrs over the weekend....then one month of nothing! Hmm could she have been puuting on a show for her out of town family for the funeral that she is actually a mom
I'll admit even whem my SS is
I'll admit even whem my SS is gone for longer than a week (only happens at the end of the year or during summer breaks..) I still don't miss him.
I mean, 90% of our interactions are that of he asking for things, his monologues of whatever he wants to say, arguments of the most trivial stuff, arguments about bigger stuff. Why would anyone miss that?
Some BM's are just amazing (and I don't mean the compliment type of amazement..). Sorry that your SS's mom seems to prefer to be a bi-ch -_-
Yeah.
Yeah.
I've never missed my skids...and they're all relatively normal and well-adjusted...and we only had EOWE.
Those weekends still came around too quickly and frequently. I've missed my niece and nephews, my sisters, my mom...my DH. But never skids. Honestly if they all just disappeared one day, I'd be perfectly fine. My DH would be a mess, though...so obviously I don't want that to happen.
I like them fine when they're around...I can interact just fine. But I never feel the need to see them. If left to my own devices, I'd likely never see them again.
Exactly...only care about my
Exactly...only care about my DHs feelings. Not an ounce about skids. we have a house and the skids live with us. DH thinks if something were to happen to him the skids would stay with me indefinitely. Id have a for sale sign in front of the house the day after the funeral. Ive never liked this house but it fits our needs with the skids and its in the school district they wanted. They'd have to go with their mom if she'd have them.
Without DH they are not my family
Yes.
Yes.
If DH died...never again. As it is, they're all grown and I barely see them. Just at holidays and the occasional drop-in by the one who's still in town.
I imagine they feel the same way about me. I'm fine. But they could take me or leave me.
DH texts with them a lot...they text and call him. He chats with them. When they're over, they talk to me and seem to enjoy spending some time with me. They seem to think I'm funny. But they've never once reached out and sent me a text or a call. DH relays some stuff to me about them...and stuff to them about me.
If DH dropped dead, I doubt they'd feel the need to hang out with me or talk to me after the funeral.
There's zero animosity. We're just not family, as much as we may have tried.
When I first met my now DH, I
When I first met my now DH, I told him that I would adopt his son.
God, was I naive!
We simply don't talk about that anymore. I just tell DH he'd better live long(er than me) lol.
I don't know how I would deal with the situation if DH is gone. His family treats me so well I almost feel like I would be obligated to take the boy if anything happens to the dad.
I feel this way too all the
I feel this way too all the time. It's always a countdown til they leave, even though they are only gone for 4 days which seems like no time at all....and I don't miss them. ONE time, actually just a month ago, I hadn't seen them for longer than usual because we were on vacay, and I actually KIND-OF missed SD. Kind of. In the tiniest way possible. I'm assuming it was a fluke, because even in summer when they go by Crazy's for 9 days at a time I never miss them and don't look forward to them coming back. The stress factor is just so much less when they're gone- My SO and I argue less, and he doesn't have to yell at skids for crap so he's less stressed, whether he'll admit it or not.
This, Exactly.
This, Exactly.
My DH gets frustrated with SS so often sometimes I (heartlessly) wonder that why he is/we are keeping him. (I admit it's truly a heartless thought.)
Not that I encourage any dads to walk out from their kids' lives, it's just way easy for them to do without being criticized too harshly (by the society).
I totally understand Cat
My SS is 14 and autistic (read previous blogs). I don't love him, most days I don't like him, and I can feel my face turn into a frown the minute he walks through the door. I can't stand the sound of his voice, I can't even stand his FACE nowadays, he needs braces badly and when he does his big sh!tty grin and fake open mouth laugh and his crookedy teeth look like they are coming out of his face.....well.....
I try to do something nice once in a while, mostly to appease my guilt, and when he craps all over it like he usually does, then my guilt is appeased and I can tell FDH, "SEE!!!! I try, but he's a jerk no matter what." Fortunately FDH understands my feelings most of the time, HE can't stand to be around SS either, although he would NEVER come out and say it.
SS will never be able to get his license, hold down a job, have his own place, etc etc......and I am doing my best to help FDH so SS qualifies for services as an adult, cuz he is NOT living with us after high school, no how, no way. FDH knows this and knows that I will be OUTTA here in a heartbeat if he gets mushy and changes his mind.
This is a BM visitation weekend, and I am PRAYING for the weather to be decent on Friday so visitation isn't canceled like it has been a few times this winter. BM and FDH drive 2 hours roundtrip to do drop offs/pickups and meet in the middle. Dang snow.......wait til Saturday please!!!!!
Are you my long lost sister?
Are you my long lost sister? The first two paragraph is exactly how my life is like lol
I swear we were praying (almost) the same thing too...hoping the flights won't get canceled this weekend. (SS has to fly to BM)
I don't know what my SS will end up being. I don't really care whether he can drive or not (There's a thing call bus, and if he happened to be richer, Uber lol). He himself seemed to be very confident he can be anything he wants. I truly wish him the best to find a good job (and move out....)
After YSD was dropped off for
After YSD was dropped off for pickup to BMs on Sunday, DH said to me, "You were really ready for her go weren't you?" I made no effort to say "Sure she can stay!" Rather, I encouraged her to go back - we were snowed in, there was limited opportunity for her to get back to BMs (i.e. a couple hours of opportunity), she has never made any friends in our neighborhood, she didn't want to do anything suggested and followed me around incessently. DH was working in his office most of the day and while I was working, it was more off/on and she was coming to me for EVERYTHING. I re-directed as much as I could (I like YSD so didn't want to be too harsh) and got DH involved with things a couple times, but yes, DH, I am glad she left in the end.
And in comment to the post above, if anything happened to DH I'm sure that would be it for me and the skids. In the end I'm really not much to them, it's all about BM. The house would be sold in a flash - and actually, if YSD chooses to vanish to BMs like OSD did then I've told DH we're GONE. No need for such a large house for two people.
Oh yeah, me too
If anything happened to FDH, that would be it for me and skids. At first I thought that I would keep SD16 and SS14 until they finished high school (if BM was OK with it), but now. NOPE. Not my kids, not my responsibility. Skids would be gone, house would be sold and that would be that. They aren't very close with me now, I wouldn't expect a relationship if FDH weren't in the picture.
I haven't missed
any of my skids for ten years now. Just waiting for them to show up in the police blotter...especially YSS16