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BD's first bday, and BM has skids

Catlover's picture

Submitted by Catlover on Sat, 04/11/2009 - 1:45pm

Yup, you read that right. BD (skids half sister) will be turning one on Wed. Of course, BM has the skids that day due to the every other day ping pong schedule we are living under until this court thing gets resolved. We are also having a party for her with my family next weekend, when, yes BM also has the skids. Seeing as BM is psychotic and refuses to bend even for 15 minutes, the skids will miss BD's birthday and her party with my family. DH's family said "oh we'll just celebrate BD's birthday on Easter when we're all together". Please folks, don't all get excited at once. I realize that for them this is the 5th grandchild and they're hohum about it, but really! I'm sort of angry that skids won't be around for her big party or on her bday itself. I even (gasp) suggested that DH contact BM to ask about switching days, but DH said he didn't want to deal with the fallout from that. I'm not sure how I feel about that. The skids really don't seem all that upset. Perhaps I'm making too big of a deal out of it, but hey. DH and everyone else makes a point that BD goes to "support" skids when they play soccer, participate in fair etc. Shouldn't this be equitable? I realize that they will be with us for Easter, but I just think that this again pits the kids into an us and them situation.

Comments

Anon2009's picture

Submitted by Anon2009 on Sat, 04/11/2009 - 3:25pm

ask us to do them favors and we do them, but when we need a favor, they won't help us. I think the thing to do is to try and remember that it's not the kids' fault and next time you have them, have a small party with just them, you, DH and BD.

You might want to ask your lawyer if you can get it in court paperwork that you get skids on BD's birthday from now on.

Gestalt's picture

Submitted by Gestalt on Sat, 04/11/2009 - 7:27pm

not plan the party for when the kids are with you?

"The beauty of life is, while we cannot undo what is done, we can see it, understand it, learn from it and change, So that every new moment is spent not in regret, guilt, fear or anger, but in wisdom, understanding, and love." -Jennifer Edwards

Anon2009's picture

Submitted by Anon2009 on Sat, 04/11/2009 - 10:01pm

Also, even in non-blended families, not all the family members can attend events. My dad couldn't always come to my birthday parties or activities because he was often on business trips.

When we had EOW, MIL's birthday often fell on BM's time and BM refused to switch days with us so we could take the kids to see MIL and take her out to a nice dinner and give her presents. It was very irritating but we can't control others!

oneofthosedays's picture

Submitted by oneofthosedays (not verified) on Sat, 04/11/2009 - 11:53pm

Something that helped me in the same situation is writing the BM a email. Send her a email asking the skids be with their sibling on her birthday. If she writes back no or doesnt answer thats big ammo right there. When you go back to courts you can show she is not allowing the skid to have a bond with their sibling. This will hurt her badly. Courts don't like to hear siblings bonds being interrupted.
Good Luck
And Happy Birthday to Your Baby