The more sex you have the more you seem to want it. I agree just do it the first time and perhaps the second you will want it a bit more and the third even more........

I agree with the above posters. The more sex you have (even when you're not in the mood), the more you want it.

DH and I explore a lot of non-traditional things that keeps our sex life HOT. Think sex clubs, going to sex shops, clothing-optional pool/hot tub at adult resort, watching others. It's unbelievable how much we want each other now, and are almost always turned on. We've always had a wild and fun sex life and didn't really need "spicing up" but at my suggestion, he sure was willing and boy has it made a difference!!!

Not saying that what DH and I do is for everyone, but being a little open to things that normally you wouldn't, can shock you into wanting more.

I wish you luck. This is NOT an easy or fun situation to be in and I totally understand.

I really want to kick your butt right now!!! lol. My husband is deployed and it's been about 10 months since we've had sex!

But to be quite honest I was getting close to the point where you are now, before he left. I have no idea why. But I will tell you that even since he has been gone, there have been times that I wanted it so bad that I thought I would die, and times when I was actually okay with him being gone because it would have been a problem (of me not wanting it) if he was here.

I don't know about you, but I think it is completely hormonal for me. I have found that if you really give it a shot though, even when you don't really feel like it, that feeling does come back. The more you connect like that the more you want to.

My husband has always said, when talking about friends, if they are not getting it at home they are getting it or attempting to get it somewhere! Better make sure he is getting it at home. Maybe you should get you hormonal balance checked by a doctor.

I haven't really wanted to have sex with DH for oh, six months or so? Maybe closer to a year? I do - about once a week - but it's a freakin' chore. It's a matter of lube, and toys, and seriously working at turning myself on, and even then, it's... okay. More like masturbating with an animate toy than making love. We were/are both pretty unhappy with that.

So... I suggested we just play around. No pressure to actually DO anything and no goals, we agreed to open up our minds, no getting upset over anything, just live in the moment. So we've been making out a lot and and doing some high-school-style messing around. For a half hour, an hour, whatever. It's really been working. He feels better, I feel better.

I would go drag him back to the bedroom again - but he's watching football and writing a final exam; can't interrupt that.

Honey, if you have fantasised about sex with other men why does it disturb you he may do the same thing? Isn't this something you should just file away in 'Let's Just Not Go There' file?

Sometimes it takes a while to get my engine going and I think about scenarios which rev things up to a level that gets things going. If DH shared such thoughts with me I would be very hurt. But if I do it why shouldn't he? I just prefer not to a)hurt him ever or b)know what REALLY goes on in his manbrain!

You turn him away. You decline going in a hot tub with him for whatever reason. And then get upset because he makes a stupid guy-type suggestion based on a dream you shared with him less than 24 hrs ago?

I think you BOTH need to have a frank discussion. If it is difficult to talk then sit on the computer and email your thoughts to each other. Work out a time for togetherness. Ruts are hard to break out of. We just get used to doing the mundane. Attempt to spice things up yourself. And find a way to ramp up your sex drive even if it means a hormone check. Or you can just start with 50 Shades of Gray. I hear it works for some women just fine! Also book into a hotel room. DH and I recently left our city directly after work and drove for 5 hrs until we reached our motel. For some reason this didn't cramp our style one bit. However if we had stayed at home and just watched TV I bet things would have meant us both going to bed and off to sleep... In that order with no deviations...

I am sure you will work it out. We are in the middle of sex being put last on the list. It certainly doesn't help when these damned college football games are on so late at night!