My dad this, my dad that, guess what..about daddy,.....etc.....UGH!!!
Okay I'm gonna vent. This shit is bothering the hell out of me, and probably more so today cause I am PMSing right now. This vent is about my own bio's. Specifically my DD. Let me just give a little background first. She is 12. My ex and I share 50/50 custody. We have been divorced for over 7 years. ExH was sucessful for a few years putting a wrench in the delicate relationship between me and dd. She has outgrown it some, (see's dear ol' daddy for the jerk he is) and although her and i get along somewhat better, she still has a better "relationship" with him. That is fine, I have no problem with that. My PROBLEM is I am sooooo sick and tired of hearing about her fucking dad.
I have NEVER said an ill word about their father in front of them or even within ear shot. I have never encouraged or even discouraged when they talk about him. I just never put in much input. More of a very monotone, unimpressed, disinterested voice, "oh yea?....or umm hmm....or mmm kay." It is clear I am not interested or even care about what she shares with me about that man.
THEN WHY IN THE HELL DOES SHE DO IT?!?!?!?! I don't even show that it pisses me off. My fdh has made comments occassionally in a joking fashion, along the lines of "we don't care, or good for him. etc..." Even my ds has tried to call his sister out on it and say, "Sister, we DON'T care! Why do you think mom cares?"
I have even once or twice, after being pissed (this was a few years ago) from one to many "comments" jumped about how RUDE it is.
I dunno. It doesn't hurt my feelings that she does it. I'm just so...over it. I don't care!!!! I don't care how he decorated his fucking shed.
Just now, with in a 10 min span, I was shown a picture of how dad decorated his new shed, and why he chose to do it that way, and a picture of the damn dog wearing a piece of the SM jewlrey. I lost it. I didn't yell, but I said "I don't care. Why do you insist on showing me pictures and telling me things about your dad, and sm? I don't care, and I am tired of hearing it. Do you tell them stuff about me? Do you show them pictures of my house? Pictures of your baby sister?" She half ass said "yea" (which makes me think not) I said, "well, what do they say?" "they say cool." "do they act like they are really sincere about it, are they really THAT interested in it? I doubt it. I don't think you realize how much and how often you constantly show me pictures or tell me things about your dad, that frankly I don't care about. If you want to vent, that is fine. VENT AWAY. you have issues over there, fine vent. I don't mind. I will listen, try to offer advice on how to handle it. But the everyday stuff, i don't care about. I don't care that your dad's boss gives him a hard time, i don't care that your sm shops at xyz store...."
Wrong of me to say? I dunno, I already said it. Can't take it back. But she's 12, not 5. She knows her father hates me, he makes that very clear in the venom he spews about me to her and her brother all the time. She knows he gives me a hard time. She don't know HOW MUCH, but she knows he makes trouble for me. So what is the point?! What is the hope of accomplishment?
So now she has stomped upstairs all pissy. SMH i can't win for losin with her anyhow.
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Comments
I think it's the age and I
I think it's the age and I think she'll grow out of it. SS used to do this crap when he was in that same age range, but doesn't do it much anymore. He was ALWAYS talking about "my BM" or "my BMs Boyfriend" or "my BMs boyfriends kids" or my BMs boyfriends mom" I usually tried to tune it out, I think DH got on him once about the fact that we really didn't care if "BM left the popcorn in the microwave too long 4 nights ago."
I chalked it up to age.. I mean what does an 11 year old really have to talk about? Now that SS is 13 and into shoplifting, smoking cigs and pot, and texting every second of every day, we don't really hear much of that crap any more.
Grow out of it? Well I will
Grow out of it? Well I will keep my fingers crossed for sooner than later.
*sigh* it just gets exhausting sometimes.
My SS is 19 and STILL does
My SS is 19 and STILL does this!! ALL THE TIME.
Willow, you just burst my
Willow, you just burst my bubble.
My SS7 does this non stop
My SS7 does this non stop about his Mama. Yes, 7 and he says Mama. He says it with a baby voice while clasping his hands and looking up at the ceiling.
SS7 is a terror. Non stop chaos, you see, his Mama lets him do whatever and feeds him chips, candy and juice to keep him happy while putting on back to back movies. He loves this. So all we hear about is how wonderful Mama is. He also sleeps with her in her bed at night so he has trouble sleeping here without his Mama.
All of this and he is here 50% of the friggin time. All he does is ask when he is going back to Mama's house or confirming if its Mama who will pick him up after school then does a cheer when its her and not us.
It drives me bonkers. Partially because I love DH and I see how much this hurts him and partially because BM dumps her kids whenever she can and screws DH whenever she can so his precious Mama is a manipulative bitch. Seeing SS7 worship this BM who uses him to make our life hell is just too much some days.
DH does nothing about it - doesn't change the topic, doesn't pursue anything around why he hates being with us so much - just ignores everything. BONKERS!!!!!
"Seeing SS7 worship this BM
"Seeing SS7 worship this BM who uses him to make our life hell is just too much some days."
yes I understand. It's so hard to not say, "look at what he has done to me. A B C and D." I can't. I won't. EVER. If they ask, I won't lie. If they tell the tale, and it's spun from his angle, I will correct it. But some days are just too much and I think today was one of them.
We get this constantly from
We get this constantly from SS14. Non stop regurgitation of everything that happens at his mother's house. Why does he think we give a flying phuck? And does he do the same thing with her? I do NOT want him relaying anything from our home in hers!
"I do NOT want him relaying
"I do NOT want him relaying anything from our home in hers!"
Yes I feel the same way. the ex uses what "innocent" info the kids share with him and twists the shit into some how some way against me.
The newest thing, The kids only eat pizza rolls at my house. I guess this is the only thing i serve for dinner.
Seems harmless right?! It doesn't bother me, but the ex won't shut up about it. He will tell anyone who will listen. States it in such a way you would think the asshole was eating a plate with us at the dinner table.
it irritates me because after 7 years the ass STILL has nothing better to do than talk about me. Dumb. So daughter, whom i love dearly, lets not give him MORE stuff to talk about please!