Bratty McBratFace is a social justice champion.  There is no cause too big or too small for Bratty to support, mostly manifested through self-righteous Facebook posts.  These posts always include links to educate the rest of us simpletons about the politically correct position to take on all current events.

During the Summer of Terror 2.0, Bratty decided to wage a personal jihad against big oil companies.  Bratty would not drive her car to and from her job (a whopping 5 miles each way) and would instead do her part to save the Earth:  she would become a bicycle commuter, like she was in Amsterdam.  Now, as ‘Not Bratty’s Mother’ I stayed silent about my knowledge of the truth of Bratty and Bicycles in Amsterdam.  To recap, Bratty was so unstable the program told her not to ride it leading to much drama later on. 

Bratty purchased a cheap bike on Craigslist for $20.  She brought her new acquisition home, along with a helmet.  I found myself a bit annoyed that she never asked me if it was alright to store it in the garage, but I also didn’t think it was a big deal at the time.  Surely Bratty would want this prized bike with her at school.  Little did I know Bratty would ride this bicycle for a whopping 3 weeks and I would be stuck storing it in my garage for the next 3 years.  Hindsight is 20/20 but if I had known I would have said NFW right then and there.

Bratty found a bike lock of mine in the garage and asked me if she could ‘borrow’ it.  I said yes but don’t change the combination.  Of course, Bratty changed the combination and didn’t tell us so the next time I used it was a problem, since I didn’t know the new combination.  I had to text Bratty and wait for her to respond.  But I digress - with her new eco-friendly transportation ready, Bratty set off for her first bike commute. 

I should mention here that our development has a small hill that leads in/out of it.  It is a moderate climb going up on a bike, however it is short so anyone having difficulty could easily hop off and walk the bike for a minute before getting to the bike path on the road (relatively flat terrain).   

Bratty returned home exactly 5 minutes after departing on her maiden ride.  SO went to find out what happened.  Bratty could not pedal up the short hill and did not know how to use gears so she gave up and came home to get the car.  SO asked her why she didn’t just walk the bike up that portion and Bratty said she hadn’t thought of that.  So the first try was a bust.  On the second try, Bratty finally rode most of the way and walked any hilly parts that she couldn’t pedal up.  Success! 

For the next couple of weeks, Bratty continued to save the earth with her bike commuting.  One day we had tickets to an outdoor play in the evening.  I got home from work and had expected both SO and Bratty to be home at that hour.  I text SO and get a response that he had to go pick up Bratty as she had a bicycle accident.  I asked if she was ok and he said yes, just some scrapes.  I waited a half hour for Bratty and SO arrive home.  Bratty is all scraped up and heads upstairs to clean up and change before we leave for the play.  I asked SO what happened and said a pickup truck made a right turn in front of Bratty and surprised her so she fell over (it didn’t actually hit her).  Of course Bratty did not touch the bike after that but we did get to hear exaggerated versions of Bratty’s Bicycle Accident for next few months.  She swerved to avoid this out of control pickup truck!  No wait, it was a tractor-trailer!  It must have been a drunk driver!  Thank goodness Bratty was able to swerve out of the way just in the nick of time.  It must have been her super-human reflexes.

Other than the scrapes from her bike accident, Bratty was afflicted with many other mysterious symptoms during the Summer of Terror 2.0.  We’ll learn all about them in the next installment– The Many Ailments of Bratty McBratFace.