So, we were out of the country for 2 weeks ... got crap from BM the NIGHT we came back for not taking the girls (really?! After a transatlantic flight we want to get them at 8pm? And have to unpack and do laundry and readjust the next day and you want us to take them ... even after it was agreed before we left that we'd get them per the regular schedule on Sunday, several days after our return!) So of course, she pulls the "you don't want your kids" bullcrap that she always does if we can't do something on her terms!

And then yesterday he checked with his daughters to see if his ex-ss had to watch BM's bf's kids b/c the girls went back early to mom's last week since we didn't have air and they were dying (it was over 100 degrees here). So he said he'd take them and ex-ss a few days this week to "make up time." The girls inform him that ex-ss has to watch the other kids. So he says he guesses he'll just have to take just the girls on Sunday since we're leaving with them to go visit grandpa for a week out of state. He can't get ex-ss if he has to watch BM's bf's kids. And of course, BM doesn't mention anything about that at all last week when she took the girls back early!

So what transpires is her being rude to SO for asking a 13 year old instead of an adult .... REALLY?! Like your 13 year old daughter doesn't know if her brother is staying home with them and the other children in the household?! Ugh! And she went on about how he only has a few days left to take ex-ss as well. Um, summer vacation's not over yet! School doesn't start until after Labor Day! She proceeds to say that ex-ss and ONE of the girls can come Friday night. But they have to come back Saturday for the other daughter's bday party at BM's. Ok, well Friday night the daughter that can come has play practice until 9pm. Why would he drive 1/2 an hour to pick her and ex-ss up that late to then have to turn around and drive them home the next morning/afternoon? He points that out to her and that it would be wasting gas money we don't need to waste (we only have my income as SO is a full-time student, but there are 2 incomes at BM's - I don't think she really ever considers that fact). And then we'd have to drive back over there Sunday to get both girls before our trip out of state. Just doesn't cut it for our gas budget! So when he brings up that it really doesn't seem feasible for just one night, she gives him crap for having just spent 2 weeks in Europe (which was almost a free trip b/c he chaperoned with my students! But of course, she won't take a moment to find that out!) and he can't drive a 1/2 hour to get his kids. UGH! Then he tried to explain his rationale to her and she just said he is trying to find a way out of it, like he always does, because he doesn't want his kids and all that crap she always says. And then she tells him to just leave her alone because she's bugging him. Mature, mom, real mature! She NEVER takes one second to even try to understand why he doesn't want weekend switching during the school year - much easier on the gas budget for him to just pick them up on a Monday after school when he's done with school rather than an additional weekend drive. And technically, their custody agreement says Mondays. A couple years ago he agreed with her to make switches on Sundays because BM doesn't want to teach her kids responsibility to make sure they have all their stuff Sunday night before school Monday. She just does it all for them! (They are in middle school now, I think they can make that transition to ensure they have what they need for school and the other household!)

It just makes me so mad. She always tries to make SO out to be the bad guy, saying he doesn't want his kids, etc. because his mom takes them a night when he has them or because we don't see the rationale in driving to get the kids for one NIGHT. Sometimes I think I don't want him to tell me about this, but I can see how it bothers him and that he needs to talk about it - even the minimal he does talk to me about it. But sometimes I want to say, "This is your problem, I don't need the stress of knowing even MORE about what she's saying/doing to be a bit**." But I can see the hurt and frustration in his face. And he does want his kids. He takes them EVERY time she goes away or out of town for work and says nothing about her "making up the time" when he has them extra.