Well, it hasn’t been a long standing tradition but for the past four years DH and I have hosted an all day open house Thanksgiving for around 20-30 relatives (some sleeping over). That is because DH has been a long distant parent for the last five years and we only have SD14 five times a year, so we take advantage of her fall visits to invite the entire west coast clan to our house so she can spend time with everyone in one fell swoop. (SD has no idea the effort and cost associated with hosting such an event every year) SD’s BM never made a big deal about TG and so SD had nothing better planned. So even though the CO stipulates Ever Other TG, she’s been coming Every TG. It was a good idea in theory, but not so much in reality. You see SD14 has never really accepted that I’m now part of the family.

I recall one of those events, as we were receiving guests, most of my side of the family (all five of them) had been accounted for. SD was all bummed out. I asked her what was wrong, she said “none of my family are here yet” I wanted to say, what am I, chopped liver, and don’t you consider my brother and parents part of your “family” yet? Then when DH’s side of the family did finally arrive she proceeded to bash me the rest of the evening, to the point that I retired early and left my DH to host the remaining evening. I was defeated. My mom also called me the next morning in tears saying that SD14 and one of her cousins said something rude as she and my dad were leaving, like... ”let the party begin”. Mom's feelings were really hurt and hasn’t warmed back up to SD14 every since.

The other TG’s have all ended the same way. I’m usually seriously disrespected and flogged in the presence of anyone she seeks to impress with her “I don’t want, need or like my STEPMOM” attitude. The pattern here is that when SD gets around too many of her so called “family” she becomes completely two faced and rejects me and my side of the family. Of course everything is always peachy keen when it’s just the two of us.

SO THIS YEAR WE ARE BREAKING TRADITION. No TG at our house. DH supports me and doesn’t want to subject me to that type of treatment. DH informed SD of this and she was very disappointed, she said “then I’ll just stay “home” instead” . When DH told me about her response I said GREAT!, We’ll save the money on the plane ticket. I no longer see the need to force visits for the 14+ year old that doesn’t respect what we’ve tried to offer. He agreed, he called her and said that she should just make up the four day visit by extending one of her other visits.

When we first got the CO, I never would have thought I would be the one to instigate a cancellation. Times have changed.

Since we cancelled the visit, she’s continued to ask DH what we’ve got planned for TG. He keeps telling her we're going over to my parents house to eat tofu turkey. HA, but we really do have a nice plan in effect. Serves her right for being such a two faced brat. I won’t miss her one iota, and neither will anyone else.