Any ideas on establishing rules and schedule for summer?
We have the skids (8 & 10) half of the time throughout the summer. We follow the 3-3-4 shared custody schedule, 3 days at our house, 4 days at BM's, 4 days at our house, 3 days at BM's, etc. Previous summers didn't bother me too much because we hired a babysitter and I wasn't home with them throughout the day, but last year when DD was born I quit my job to stay home with her and summer was a hot mess. My daughter was very young (4 months) and took up most of my attention throughout the day while DH was at work, which meant a lot of free time for the skids doing whatever the hell they wanted.
This year I want things to be different. My DD1 is pretty predictable and on a well established playtime/nap/meal/snack schedule, and I'm hoping to do the same for the skids. They're not used to a ton of structure at BM's throughout the school year. They sleep in her bed most of the time, aren't expected to do any chores, and are never asked to clean up after themselves. On the weekends DH and I keep them under control for the most part, but it's a struggle to get SD10 to even take a cup to the sink or put her clothes in the hamper instead of throwing them on the floor. And forget about even mentioning her taking a shower without there being a major meltdown.
I'm wondering if anyone has advice on how to implement a schedule of more structured time for kids this age. I definitely want to start them on age appropriate chores, have general expectations of cleaning up after yourself without being asked, and would like to set up a flexible schedule of TV, computer, reading, outside time.
I want to do it delicately and not be the evil stepmom I sometimes feel like in my head, so I'm hoping some of you have experience with this.
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Comments
Have you considered using the
Have you considered using the point system? My SDs are older (12 and 15) but the point system works GREAT for us!
The kids are awarded so many points for chores (for us it's 10 points for brushing teeth, 50 points for doing dishes, and 100 points for yard work). They can spend points on things they want (1 point = a minutes of tv, or 1 cent, 50 points for a snack, and 125 to spend the day away with a friend or relative). They can also loose points for misbehaving (100 points for arguing!) or for not getting a chore done (if they don't brush their teeth, we subtract 10 points, instead of adding it).
SDs are only allowed to hand in points for money once a month, during the first week of the month, however if they have enough points (about 600) they can rent pay per view anytime. If they have 0 points (or negative) they are effectively grounded until they make up the points to do whatever it is they want.
When my kids were small and I
When my kids were small and I stated at home, I always found that keeping to a schedule : wake up, breakfast, out if house for activity, home for lunch, quiet time in the afternoon - worked very well for a very long time. The older kids even appreciated the quiet time (read books, draw, nap - whatever but they were each alone in their own bed during this 1-2 hour time frame.