Electronics
My step kid has brought electronics 2x & claimed my kids damaged one & stole the other. The first time my husband ran out & bought a new system for over 300$!!! Even though when going over the timeline of events no one had access to his system nor knew he had it with him. & after getting the new one he explains the differences between the two, stating why he wanted a new one!!!! Then we told him NO MORE BRINGING. He brought stuff 7 times with us discovering it! & either took it back to moms house or put it away & did not allow him to have it. Surely we didn't catch it EVERYTIME. the 8th time no one saw the system, but he came & told us it was missing. We explained he was wrong to bring it, etc & we still looked for it. Questioned everyone. Nothing was found. No conversations with mom about it for over a month. Then she says she bought him a new one. Then later says he had to buy himself a new one. Who knows. But we say No electronics. Child swears nothing will ever happen again. I say NO. Even with a stance that we won't replace them, it has happened 2x & still effects our entire family, ruins our day, causes resentments, etc. AND he's not respected the rule to begin with. Thoughts? What are your house rules on this? Am I being harsh?
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Comments
How old is skid?
How old is skid?
12
12
If you don't want the stuff
If you don't want the stuff from BMs being brought to your home then put your foot down. Hell, if he can't be trusted to not bring it, go through his bag when he arrives and confiscate it. Put it somewhere no kids can get to it until he leaves and send it back, tell BM you don't want that sent to your house.
I'm pretty sure the mom is in
I'm pretty sure the mom is in on the hiding of the electronics. She's a liar, manipulator & constantly undermines us.
I WOULD NOT get in the habit
I WOULD NOT get in the habit of checking his bag for the items. Once you do that, you ARE taking responsibility for them.
I suggest doing nothing except what you're already doing. If you notice he continuously disobeys, I would (with DH's help?) hide whatever he brought away and let him fear that it truly has been lost or stolen for a while.
If he really was lying last time, this should shake him up a little because the difference is that I doublt BM or your DH will run out to purchase a new one so soon.
After a fair amount of time I'd find a way to return the item with out him knowing that you had it.
Our BM would pawn the skids
Our BM would pawn the skids stuff when they were EOW and tell the kids that someone broke in their home and only stole the game system. DSO never ran out and bought new, and then a month or so later they would talk about what game they got or whatever.