Mending relationship with SD7??
I am so confused. Another huge arguement over our situation. Mainly me - yelling. Gosh, who have I become? *sorry2* I feel sorry for this poor little kid. I think she acts out because she's desperate for love. For boundaries. Disney dad and disengaged mum are not cutting it.
I remember thinking to myself early on in the realtionship, I want to be warm and cuddly with her, but I dont want her to attach to me because I feel like I will have to do all the parenting. I had just started a 4 year uni degree, my kids were older, I was moving into a more independent parenting lifestyle - one where I could put myself first occasionally. (Edit - and his lack of parenting skill was obvious straight up, I knew she'd be hard work)
Now this poor kid is stuck being around me who is polite, but completely disengaged with her. She must feel unwanted here and thats awful! I dont know how its got to this point. I would never want to hurt a kid like that. Worst of all, I dont know how to fix it, and if I leave him, she will be traumatised. Im so angry with myself.
Can you mend a broken relationship with a SD, or will she be scarred for life by the past year or so?
- Birdy's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
You can’t do more then BM and BF
Not your problem to love this kid, she has parents for that
Take a deep breath.
Take a deep breath.
You do not need to be loving to a child who is not yours.
You said you are polite but completely disengaged. That is okay. It is not going to harm or scar her to have dad's wife not love her. She knows you are not her mother. She is aware of this. She probably doesn't love you the way she loves her mother.
We can't make our situations anything more than they are, unless it comes naturally. We are unrelated people in an unnatural situation.
My SD is 7 and lives with us full-time. She has since she was 2. She's never loved me the way she loves her parents, so I never put pressure on myself to love her the way I love my son. It is what it is. We are kind to one another but I don't worry about her grades, hygeine, social life, all of that stuff. It's just not my problem.
not alone
I'm in the exact situation but the kids are young adults. I left one bad marriage and now I'm in another.
However as one comment says she's not your child. She has parents.