telling me i should "be over it" was all it took. i lost my cool.
Her:
I sent you a message the other day. Dont know if it went through but what it said was its a shame you cant help me out Bi. I need a lot of help with this breastfeeding stuff and you are the only person I can think of. You told me you didnt want to be a part of my pregnancy because of things said years ago. I just figured by now you would be over it and want to help me. After all you have been in my life as a "step mother" for almost 8 years now. If you dont want to after all this time, I guess keep the grudge. Its not very healthy for me OR my dad for you to keep me out.
Me:
it isn't exactly easy for me to "get over" someone acting like my child was ruining their life and then you were callous enough to sit in the back seat and giggle and goof off when you knew i was up front crying and bleeding my baby away. maybe that's not a big deal to you, and that's fine. but it was a big deal to me. that baby was loved and wanted, just like you love and want yours. how would you like someone treating you the way you treated me? it's pretty damned insensitive to expect me to "get over it". you have no idea what that was like for me.
i don't appreciate being guilt tripped. i have done nothing to feel guilty for. in 3 years, you have never managed to utter the words "i'm sorry" for what you did. that says a lot.
your dad knows how i feel and is very supportive of me. you have no idea what is or isn't healthy for him. i have to take care of myself and my children. what is healthy for ME is to not be involved. no amount of trying to make it out like i'm hurting anyone is going to change that. if you need help with breastfeeding, call the health dept. they have classes and counselors for that. you wanted this. i had nothing to do with it. it isn't my responsibility to do anything at all.
Comments
HAHAHAHA!
HAHAHAHA!
I love how you are handling
I love how you are handling this!
GC
Yep, very typical from these
Yep, very typical from these asshat SD's. She figured you'd be over it, and it's not healthy for HER blah blah. They all follow the same script.
Oh my goodness!!! Plz tell
Oh my goodness!!! Plz tell Little Miss Thang to just knock this shit off!!!!!!! Wow! Reading this & the other post you wrote about all of this made me cry tears for you. Hugs!!!
I lost a baby years ago, and was never able to have another. My BD is 8 now, and sadly has asked Santa for a brother or sister, now she has 3 stepbrothers.
She was a very very nasty person to you back then. Hell, my 8 yr old has an enormous amount more compassion then her!!!!!
My advice? Cut her off anytime in the future when she tries to pull that emotional blackmail on you!!!! Tell her the moment she grows a conscious (a very real one) might just be the moment you will give a shit!!!
Tell her to call her birthing hospital, ask fir the lactation specialist & get lost!!!! Grrrrr ppl like her piss me off to no end. Also- have your DH call her ON SPEAKERPHONE with you present, and have him TELL HER to knock it off!!!!!!!
Imo- your DH needs to stop his brat!
i called fdh and told him
i called fdh and told him about it. i know she'll be calling or texting him whining and bitching and tattling on me, she always does. as he should be, he is on my side. he knows how she is. i sent her another message and told her if it is her plan to tell on me to him and bring more stress into his life, then be prepared for his backlash. he said there will be backlash, too. fuck her. how dare she act like i owe her anything at all, and she thinks she can tell me i'm hurting fdh and that's gonna work. little bitch doesnt' know a damn thing! i told her i put up boundaries because i have to do what is best for me, and since she is showing me that she will not respect those boundaries and she wants to push and guilt trip, then i have no choice but to do what i have to do to keep that stress out of my life. then i blocked her on fb and on my phone.
i hope she calls to tattle after he's had a bad night at work, is pissed off and dead tired. }:)
i'll post the rest of what i wrote if anyone wants to see it.
i have 2. my youngest is
i have 2. my youngest is sadly her half brother. when i went to her page to block her, she has "Being pregnant!" listed as her job. give her a year and she'll change it to "collecting child support!" dumb bitch. i can't wait for all of this to blow up in her face.
that's exactly what i'm
that's exactly what i'm thinking. she's just grasping at straws to try to draw me in and use me for whatever she can. this is all happening on the heels of her being turned down for WIC. so i suppose she's decided that since the govt won't be buying her formula, she better do it herself cuz she sure as hell can't afford $17 a can! but still, yeah. the kid isn't here. wtf does she think i can do for her, anyway?
thank you, melissa!
thank you, melissa!
I think your reply was really
I think your reply was really awesome. I wish I could have come up with something that good when sd17 asked dh for my car.
she's got a mom. one who
she's got a mom. one who doesn't want to be a mother. sucks to be sd. and yeah, why the hell is she freaking out about breastfeeding right now? like i can show her how to do it without a baby? i breastfed bd17 when i was 17 years old. no one had to help me. stupid bitch.
Not sure how you are supposed
Not sure how you are supposed to "help" her. Does she need you to hold her boob, or what?
good question! this is
I feel sorry for that baby.
I feel sorry for that baby. He / she will be nothing but a pawn used for financial assistance, attention and bargaining. How sad that someone like her will have a baby who will love her unconditionally and so many other women, including you, struggle with having children to love (I know you have DD16 and DS4, but I also know you want more).
Hmmmm, sounds to me like you
Hmmmm, sounds to me like you ARE "over it˝. She's the one still pestering you. Maybe she should "get over it".
I can really empathize with
I can really empathize with your situation. When I had my hysterectomy at 32, my SD, who is only 10 years younger than me (my hubby is 12 years older than me), showed no empathy or compassion. There were complications so I was on bed rest 8 wks after. She never called, visited, or anything, then when she finally got around to coming over all she talked about the babies she wants to have, rubbing it in my face I couldn't have any more (after I lost 2 and have 1 biological son and was pretty much in mourning the premature loss of my uterus). When her sister had a stillborn 4 months ago, she had no compassion for her either and did the same thing. Almost like she's triumphant in her apathy, but she's selfish enough to believe everyone should bend over backwards for every occasion she ever has. Of course with her the BS never ends and she is just one hurtful, selfish, nasty episode after another. I'm cutting her off emotionally as well, and just made that decision this week, after years of saying, "I'm done," I know I now have to follow through. Like you, luckily for the most part I have a supportive husband, however I feel sorry for him because I don't think the hope for his kids changing their toxic ways will ever die in him. It died in me for sure. I wish you luck with all of this and hope someday she wakes up, but if she doesn't, you are taking care of you and have a good guy on your side, thank God; that's what is most important! Keep your head up and warmest wishes.
thank you, tweetie. i hope
thank you, tweetie. i hope karma pays your sd a visit. what a vile excuse for a human being. :sick:
Thank you so much. She
Thank you so much. She really is and it's such an adjustment grappling with the disillusionment of it all . . . but I guess it's better to plod through hell with our eyes open :/
I am so sorry to hear about
I am so sorry to hear about the loss of all your babies and having your grief and confusion compounded by vile, poisonous people who are toxic parasites. I had an early miscarriage last year and the pain would have been magnified if I had to deal with people who acted like animals gleefully picking through the carcass of the situation. Just awful.
Bi - your cynicism has been justified with that nasty message. I think it was pretty obvious that she wanted to use her baby as an opportunity to worm her way back into your fold so she can continue to suck the life out of you and your wallet, however there was always the slightest chance (miniscule at best) that she wanted to reach out and heal the bridge. She just tripped herself up.
She should list her job as: Bitch extraordinaire. Need to inject a large dose of spite in your life? Ensure your family is divided? Your finances ruined? Call me.
She needs to quit the less than subtle manipulation. If she is THAT worried about her father's feeling perhaps she should have and continue to use sensitivity and care in her reaction over the death of your JOINT child. Does she forget that child was also FDH's too? Someone is having the karma jitters. This is what happens when you act like a nasty a hole.
i don't think she grasps AT
i don't think she grasps AT ALL that the baby was also fdh's and it was her brother/sister. things like that aren't important in her world. if it's not her, it is meaningless. including the life of my baby.
i think she's freaking out
i think she's freaking out about not getting wic. she probably planned on all of us buying her formula, and since that's not happening, now she figures nursing is her only option. i have no faith that she will actually do it. nursing takes a lot of time and dedication. i finally weaned my son a few months before he turned 3 because as much as i loved the closeness, it was too time consuming and not an absolute need anymore. i don't think she would last 3 days.
Bi, you did great. You tried
Bi, you did great. You tried to ignore her. She wouldn't let you and her message was all about HER. How you are making HER life hard. She is an evil bitch. And I love that you didn't grovel or give her anything to hurt you with. You stated facts. Good for you.
I know your pain, love. Many prayers and hugs
very good response Bi
very good response Bi
Bi - I am sorry about your
Bi - I am sorry about your loss.
I too love you response to SD. It amazes me that your SD thinks that after what she said and did you should just "get over it".