Hello all! I'm a longtime lurker and this is my first blog post. I found this site at the top of my annoyance with SS19 and am so grateful to learn from others with similar experiences.
Some background: I met DH eight years ago and we've been married for four. We had a long distance relationship for about three (hot n' heavy) years, then I moved to his country. During our dating years there was drama with the BM, it escalated after we got married, and has now tapered off significantly.
SS has lived the majority of time with us since he was 15. I don't have any biological children (by choice), so living with SS was a HUGE adjustment for me. This kid was a lazy brat. SS would constantly give off the "woe is me" teenage vibes if we asked him to help out. Countless dinners and trips have been ruined by his pouting. And the cleaning up I had to do after him in another blog post entirely.
Several times I begged DH to send SS back to BM so I could get a break, especially after I got really depressed. DH asked me to tough it out a little longer each time. He said we just needed to see SS through until he went to college, and then we could relax. I still have mixed emotions on how all that went down. I feel he rushed me into caring for his son, and he justifies it because SS has a tumultuous relationship with his BM and he felt he was being emotionally damaged by her.
Over the past several years barely a day went by went I wasn't annoyed, pissed, depressed by something SS did. I voiced my concerns to DH and to his credit he did parent, but was lax on correction follow through. Then if I brought that up he would use the "I work so much and I just don't want to deal with discipline now" line.
But something strange happened at the same time, I actually started to appreciate SS on the rare moments he behaved like a decent, kind human. We have the same sense of humor and catch the same quirky nuances around us. Despite his mood fluxuations and self centered tendancies, I feel like he's eventually going to be a decent guy.
SS19 is now going to start his first year in college. We moved him into his apartment yesterday and DH and I are both relieved, happy and a little sad. I have the strangest empty feeling, which prompted me to finally type this blog entry. For the longest time everything about SS annoyed me and I couldn't see any light at the end of the tunnel. Now that the next chapter has started I'm extastic to finally have DH back to myself, but also can't believe I bonded with his kid.
I guess that's all I got for now...I'll share all my horror stories in upcoming posts. There are many LOL