Appropriate Bed Times
Just putting it out there!
I'm a a young Step Mum, and we have the kids Wednesday nights and EOW... my skids are lovely kids but they are 7SD and 10SS so of course there is a few hick ups but they are normally pretty good.
i don't have any kids of my own so the only experience i have to reflect on is my own up bringing.
but, on school nights the kids still seem to be up at 10.30pm and a fight to get them to bed at 11pm!!.. and they are 7 and 10?
to me when i was younger it was 8.30pm -9pm AT THE LATEST!
i was just wondering if anyone out there knows what the right times are for them to be winding down? or any suggestions how i should try and get a new routine going?
i have had some conversations with my DH to try and get them into bed earlier because they are now chucking HUGE fits about going to bed and we need to gain some control
i just think he is guilty parenting and wants to be the "fun cool dad"!
i would appreciate any advice..
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yeah i think that's a
yeah i think that's a appropriate time as well.. I'm not sure what time they go to bed at BM houses though..
because i start work at 8am so i am already out the door before anyone else is up anyway! but hearing from my DH the tantrums and the drama trying to get the SD up is crazy!
so i'm glad i'm not there to see that! but i think i just need to push it so they wind down earlier!
i go to bed before the kids it seems...
I believe 9pm was the cutoff
I believe 9pm was the cutoff for me until I was maybe a teenager.
I do what blender does....If
I do what blender does....If it's a 9pm bedtime, I start at 8pm with the snack, then shower, teeth and tuck in. I also do a time check with them, I'll say 'it's 8:30 you've got 30 minutes or I'll ask them to check to time. It works pretty well for us.
My youngest is eight. I can
My youngest is eight. I can give your our before bed routine during the school year. Right after supper, he takes a shower and gets in his pajamas. We have a snack and read a book at about 7:30. Right after that, he has to brush his teeth and get his stuff together for school the next day. We use that time to gather library books, double check homework, pack his backpack...stuff like that. At 8pm he has to be in his bed. He can read, watch television, listen to his ipod, play on his laptop...quiet stuff like that, until 8:30. Lights out at 8:30.
I am really strict about our after supper routine on school days. We have five kids. When the kids were younger, our mornings would have been nightmares without our evening routines. Now that the older kids are in high school/away at college, it's much easier.
My older kids don't have a bedtime. I've never had to worry about it with them. They usually turn the lights out by 10:30.
thanks for all the great
thanks for all the great advice everyone!!
i am taking this whole home to the DH to get this sorted out and give him the facts, i just know he is trying to get more time with them etc
but they are kids and it is a nightmare trying to get 2 angry sleepy kids up for school!
8, or 8:30 or 9:00?? Can I
8, or 8:30 or 9:00?? Can I come live at your house? My SS11 is routinely up until 10:30 or 11pm also. This is always somehow related to the guilty divorced dad complex in our case. All the kid has to do is say, "but dad, I can't go to bed yet, I haven't spent enough time with you," or "but dad, you never play games with me, can't we play a game before bed?" or "but dad, can't you talk to me about ---fill in the blank whatever topic is of interest to dad that kid has absolutely no interest in before bedtime." It is such crap. I want to scream. SS is the very needy type, no friends, won't play in this room, is always 2 feet away saying, dad, dad, dad every 3 seconds. The only peace and adult time is after he goes to bed, but dad is too weak to enforce bedtime. Not to mention the fact that this 11 year old will not go to bed without a ritual of being tucked in and rubbed and catered to, which takes half hour more. He will not even go brush his teeth without calling dad up to help him. BF doesn't ever want kid to be unhappy with him. He would rather be his buddy than his dad. It is sad for all. The kid would be better to have rules, not to mention his sleep. BF and I would be better as a couple to have adult time. Its a lose lose situation, as as SM, I am always the bad guy when I try to suggest improvement.
this is EXCATLY what they
this is EXCATLY what they do!! 100% they always make up some line and make him feel so guilty... i called it disneyland dad syndrome.. they just want to be the fun dad for them, but i am slowly getting them to see how many million and one things he does for them.
well thankfully my DH knows he is in the wrong and he is open to suggestions and improvements because he knows that when his kids at teenagers and he asks them to do something and they laugh in his face because they know there dads a softy.
but trust me i get so angry as well when the SS7 jumps in bewteen us watching tv because I WANT TO SIT NEXT TO DAD!! really makes me want to go mental... or trys to sneak into our bed at night! (i have know put a lock on our door!)
Bedtime here for BS 6 and SD
Bedtime here for BS 6 and SD 7 is 7:30pm winding down time (brush teeth, potty, then reading a story) and then lights out by 7:45pm-8:00pm
They are very regimented at bedtime and have become accustom to this, so it is not a problem.