most of the time when im posting on here its about SD and her crazy BM. i used to do this so much that it rarely really occurs to me that i, too, am a custodial SM to SS15. i guess maybe that just goes to show you how peaceful and easy it really CAN be when u have a basically good SK and a BM who leaves u the hell alone. its almost second nature. SS is pretty low maintenance...

yesterday, i came home from work and the dog had no water again. AND she was running to the basement steps bc she had to go pee so bad. and the dishes werent done. i called FH and told him i wanted SS punished, no xbox, and i wanted to wait until he got home to yell at him. i also told FH that we were taking SS to his music lessons early and he could sit there and wait until it was his turn bc we had errands to run and needed to leave as soon as FH got home.

so FH comes home and tells SS to get ready for his lesson. SS is upset bc its too early to go. FH explains why we are taking him so early. we get in the car. i said very calmly, "SS, when i got home today, dog had no water and had to go outside...she didnt even greet me bc she needed to go so bad. now i dont know why its so hard for u to do these things, and i dont know why u dont care enough about her to help take care of her, but the bottom line is that we ask u too and so u need to do this. and it really hurts my feelings that u dont care enough about her to make sure shes taken care of." FH asked SS if he had anything to say and SS apologized. i said at this point, i really dont wanna hear it. bc its happened too many times and u obviously dont give a $hit about her and thats upsetting to me.

we dropped him off.

later that evening after dinner, FH checks his VM. he says listen to this. naturally, immediately i think its a msg from psycho, but instead it was the school principal. (SS signed up for summer class to get a credit out of the way)...SS hadnt done 7 assignments and refused to do them so he made him stay at school until he finished. so we call SS upstairs. obviously SS didn’t offer any info so FH had to beat it out of him. FH was getting really mad and yelling bc he was so upset and hurt by the lying. SS had a problem w not turning in assignments during the school yr too. so we asked him why he doesn’t do them. he said he just didn’t wanna, but i could see he was getting upset. then it dawned on me...maybe hes having some sort of learning disability. so i took over...

"SS, please don’t think im trying to offend u, but is something going on that you CANT get ur work done?" bc we know hes not a lazy or rebellious kid, ya know? i said, are u having trouble understanding it and actually getting it done? and he started crying and said yes. its not dyslexia or anything like that he just doesn’t comprehend what hes reading well...so i think he doesn’t get his work done in class on time so he just doesnt turn it in. we told him how he has to stop lying and be honest w us bc it seemed to us, and his teachers, that hes just being lazy or not caring. i told him that FH and i both really wanna treat him like an adult but hes forcing us to treat him like a little kid by acting like he does. i said we wanna believe ur downstairs doing ur homework, but then we get ur report card and find out youre not, so its gonna have to go back to u sitting up here at the table doing it. we don’t wanna babysit u. i dont wanna yell at you about the dog, etc. then we explained that theres nothing wrong w whats going on...everyone learns differently and u don’t have to be embarrassed but the adult thing to do is ask for help.

so we think we've got him straitened out. we have some software to help w reading and comprehension that FH bought--im gonna put it on my laptop this wkend so he can use it. it was one of the first times ever i felt like i really had a place w him.

FH also left a list of chores on the table for him to do today too. and hes still w/o his xbox.

progress, no?