OT- Alanon
Has anyone attended Alanon? DH has quit drinking liquor, but still drinks. Granted it's 1/8th or less then he did, a beer at night or a Mike's hard lemonade and stops. I noticed on the weekends though he loads up on several of these. Doesn't get like he was but we went through many years of this battle and I won't lie, I have developed co-dependency and PTSD from it. Trying to control, etc etc.
My question is not about that, but more about Alanon's format. Is it very faith based? Is it really focused on a supreme being controlling outcomes, prayers, stuff like that?
The reason I ask is because of after a lifetime (raised Christian) and semi cultish upbrining - my beliefs have changed. I'm not atheist, but I am Deist. I believe in a higher power for creation but I do not believe he/she controls any aspect of humans lives, or minute details, or every day things. It's all left to sort itself out -as in there is a Creator and then He watches from above but he does not interfere/intervene in our existence.
I will place a warning here, I do NOT want to hear anything religious, pm's or posts about why you believe differently or why one should-it is entirely irrelevant and we are not allowed to discuss religion really. Any posts that are proselitizng in any way will be deleted.
The only thing I'm curious about is Al-Anons' focus. If it is focused on a supreme being intervening/helping/guiding us/others then I do not think that is the fit for me and I would love to know of any other similar programs if you know of any. It may be that therapy instead of groups is more a fit if there is no similar group to what I"m searching. If you have any experience with it, could you share please? You can PM me for privacy if you prefer. Thanks all!
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Gosh, maybe 25years ago I
Gosh, maybe 25years ago I went to a Alanon meeting with a friend who's husband drank daily. I do not remember it being faith based nor filled with holy rollers, no prayers or bible scripture. "D" felt like she was not alone finally.. There were people just like her in the room.
Catholic here---I would have got UP and walked out if they were hinting at praying it away waving bibles around. She didn't need that either..
I would call the local chapter to see IF things have changed.
I am sorry you are going through this.
Thank you, and I'm so sorry
Thank you, and I'm so sorry that happened to you. That is just so outrageous! Good to hear they aren't overly religious. I think I"m a little apprehensive, I live in the south, it's VERY highly religious around here. I definately could use the help of learning boundaries, disengage with love, etc...just don't want the whole 'higher power' is in charge of everything in your life because it's just far from my own belief. Perhaps it's like here, take what you can get, leave the rest.
Do you have any relationship w/your dad now, is he around and how are things for you?
I've attended a lot of al
I've attended a lot of al anon.
Your higher power can be Fate. The Force. Whatever. Just realizing you can't control everything.
Exactly this. The "higher
Exactly this. The "higher power" does not have to mean God/religion. You may have to visit a couple of different meetings to find the right fit, but it's worth it. Alanon was such a comfort and help to me when my sister's addictions were at their worst. She's 8 years sober now, so I haven't gone Jan quite a while, but I always recommend it to people who have an addict in their lives.
Yes I attended a meeting
Yes I attended a meeting because of my now ex husband.
He was an alcoholic and likely doing drugs.
I am agnostic but had no issue with the meeting because those people GOT IT.
I did attend several before finding the one I liked.
Huge help.
I did al anon. Focus was on:
I did al anon. Focus was on: you can't control their drinking as you didn't cause it and you can't change it. All you can change is yourself and your actions. I don't recall religion. Yeah some talk about higher power but it's just one of the steps. And it's not about religion. Al anon didn't really do much for me as meetings but I found their books useful. The ones with daily messages. Very helpful