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what do i do?

babigrl86's picture

I am new to all of this, but I need someone to talk to! When me and my fiance met, he had a 7 month old daughter who he has joint custody of (we have her every other week) and my son was 3 months old, and his dad is incarcerated. Here we are now and they are both 9 years old and we had 3 little girls together. recently SD has become very hateful, mean and always angry. She lies to try to get me in trouble, treats my kids like shit, and just walks around like she is queen bee. My kids are starting to act like her and I can't stand that. I am limited to how I can disipline her as she is not my child. Nothing works, I have tried being overly nice, I have tried yelling, time out etc. BM and I are civil and get along for her sake but we come from totally different backrounds. She is a slob and has no rules, I am clean and have rules for my kids, DH says I need to pick and choose battles with SD...I don't agree with that, and we are bumping heads concerning this child and I'm tired of fighting over her and fighting with her. I look out for her safety and wellbeing, so I look like a bad guy because I have rules and her Bm does not, so she never wants to be here, she tells me she hates me and that I'm a liar, and it makes my blood boil!

Comments

SMof2Girls's picture

Disengage. Let SD be DH's problem. She is HIS child, not yours. If she can't treat you with respect and follow the rules of your household, then HE needs to be the one at home dealing with her.

Allowing her to treat you or your kids that way is unacceptable and he should step up the plate immediately.

babigrl86's picture

He doesn't see the way she acts because she won't disrespect me in front of him! I have put distance between myself and her, because she makes it impossible to enjoy her company. I have also been putting her in time out...is that crazy at 9 yo? Anyway it seems to be working, but I make her stand there for 20min. In hopes that it won't be worth her time to talk all the smack she thinks she can!